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5 Signs You’ve Found An Evolved Man & Why You Should Be Scared Sh*tless!


About Me

Scarlet Amor is a California based author and relationship coach on Sex, Love and Dating for Spiritual Hipsters. She pens racy (and sometimes hilariously disastrous) memoirs about her enlightening adventures exploring romantic intimacy and modern relationships as a path of personal growth and empowerment with a fun loving, spiritually sexy edge.

The Evolved man is a mythical creature that exists in the dreamy minds of Goddess type women.

For eight years I’ve been calling in a life partner…

Why did it take me so long?

Because I was searching for the elusive “evolved man”; a mythical creature that exists in the dreamy minds of Goddess type women who preach atop sparkly pedestals claiming they are not “being met” by the men they are currently dating.

I desired a partner who is remarkable, like me.

And I would not settle for less until I found “him”; a man who is dedicated to a path of personal evolution, has a high vision of the life he wishes to live, and lives into it every day.

Yeah right, like I am perfect and evolved!

But I am capable and willing to do “the work” to be a better human, so I figured my mate should be the same way.

5 Ways To Identify An “Evolved Man”


So what the heck is an “evolved man”, anyways?

#1 A man who..

.. has conquered his own emotional, spiritual and personal growth work and takes responsibility for his life.

#2 A man who..

.. is true to his word, takes action and lives with integrity.

#3 A man who..

.. loves himself so much that he cares for his body, his health, his finances, his home and keeps all aspects of his life in tip top shape.

#4 A man who..

.. has mastered the fine skills of energetic lovemaking, meditation, yoga, ecstatic dance and can give me orgasms with one glance of his eyes.

#5 A man who..

.. has “done the work” to be a better person and has his diplomas from The Good Men Project, Landmark, Tony Robbins, and Deepak Chopra on the wall to prove it.

Well guess what, ladies. Once you find a man like this, you better be scared shitless.

Here’s why:

5 Reasons Why An Evolved Man Should Scare You Sh*tless


#1 Your Personal Shit Will Be Stirred

No matter how many Ester-Hicks affirmations you have posted on your bathroom mirror, in the presence of a remarkable evolved man ALL your emotional, spiritual and personal baggage will climb out from the dark corners of your mind.

There is no space in this relationship for you to fall back on old stories of how you were once done wrong by an “un-evolved man” in the past.

Be prepared for your personal shit to be stirred and smeared on your holy mirror and accept that only you are responsible for how you will respond to your “triggers”.

He will hold you accountable and will not settle for your emotional, self-righteous rants.

MUST READ: 6 Things An Evolved Man Wants From A Woman

#2 He Makes Sh*t Happen

It’s easy to make a list of all the ways you think you are impeccable with your word, but an evolved man will hold a mirror to your soul and reveal all your blind spots.

If he says he will pick you up at 8pm, he will show up on time – while you are still in the bathroom sticking just a few more sparkle bindis on your forehead, which means you are late.

You complain that your car needs an oil change and post on Facebook that you are “manifesting a mechanic who will trade for crystals”, while he is already under the hood getting it done.

You have a dusty vision board on your wall with photos of dreams you wish to achieve, while he is busy making shit happen.

Time to step it up!

#3 You Will Start Scrambling To Clean Up Your Life

Sure, I generally eat healthy (with a daily side of wine and cheese) and somehow get my rent paid at the end of each month, but am I really living up to my fullest potential?

I desired a man who is stable and wealthy..

.. in tip top shape, cooks gourmet farmers market organic meals every night and lives in my future dream home that I would eventually move into and make our own…

while I was frankly broke, flabby, living in a ghetto apartment and eating In-n-Out Burgers on Wednesday nights in front of the TV.

When you meet your dream man, prepare to start scrambling to clean up your life!

#4 You Gotta Work Hard to Keep up With Him


My previous boyfriend didn’t know a lick of yoga, thought chakras were bullshit, and spent his days stalking hippies on the internet to prove their motivational message memes were wrong.

This left me doing my Tantra yoga poses and prayer circles on my own, and we eventually broke up because he wasn’t “spiritual enough”.

Then enters Mr. Evolved Man who gets up at the crack of dawn every single fucking morning to meditate, hits Bikram three times a week, and can run circles around you doing handstands while you are still sipping on your Starbucks after your once a month ecstatic dance class.

Wiping the dust out of your eyes, you begrudgingly buy that unlimited monthly pass card for the yoga studio down the street so you can keep up with him.

Must-Read: Tantra 101: A Super Simple Guide For Tantric Sex Beginners

#5 He Kicks Your Spiritual Ass to The Ground


You boast that you were a keynote speaker at Lightning in a Bottle last year at the Yoga Dome.

You don’t need any more self-help diplomas, YOU are the expert now!

In the meantime HE is a student of life, always learning, always growing, always seeking new inspiration & perspective from his mentors because he knows that NOT KNOWING is a place of power.

He accepts that he is a work in progress and loves you just the way you are… then signs you up for a year of Landmark education that kicks your spiritual ass to the ground.

Yes, you may think you have the upper hand as a Goddess-type woman who is already “evolved”, because a lot of “dudes” out there still don’t get it.

But until you accept that you have tons to learn from someone else and that their life accomplishments are amazingly different than your own, you will never be met.

MUST READ: 6 Things An Evolved Woman Wants From A Man

There Is No Such Thing As An “Evolved Man”!

Look instead for someone who is in the process of “evolv-ING”, and ..

.. when you find him take his hand that is reaching for yours, step off your damn Goddess pedestal and climb up the steep road of life together as partners who can support one another along the way.

And if you are not scared shitless, you are doing it wrong.

Republished with the permission of Scarlet Amor | Featured Artist: Michael Howard

Maybe this video will help you find an “evolving man”:

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Share Your Thoughts

  • Robert J Barnes

    Certificates on the wall from Tony Robbins, Landmark, and Deepak Chopra? I’m not so sure that means anything other an insecure spiritual douchebag and fraud; a poser.

  • Kianna Huang

    “shitless, “fucking” and “stupid ass”? And you are an evolved goddess?
    Why should listen to you, because you wrote it on the internet?

  • Bikram does not make an “evolved” man. I did Bikram for years and they don’t even scratch the surface about what yoga is. Hey, if you want to get together over a chai, give me a call.

  • one man


  • iyoume

    “For eight years I’ve been calling in a life partner…

    Why did it take me so long?”

    Because you were asking for a woman with a penis and not a man.

  • jonathanandrews

    It was a little too much of a parody and too similar to loads of the nonsense we read on various forums. Your comments make sense of this but many won’t read these and will go away thinking, how stupid.
    We read very often how awful men are and how tough women’s lives are, many of us really try to behave well and treat others with courtesy and respect (we sometimes fail, we are not perfect) but your article fails to achieve what your comments tell us you aim for.

  • Alx Whittlesey ∞

    wait so I gotta blow a bunch of money on Deepak Chopra’s phony self to be evolved? and how the hell am i gonna give someone an organsm by looking at them?!

    • Lol! You may have missed the intentional sarcasm of the article to make a bigger point. “Evolution” has nothing to do with how many new age courses someone takes. That’s the joke!

  • alcibiades415

    I liked the last point…but I always thought being philosophical was a turn off for women so I hide it and try to “act like everyone else” …so sad.

    • With the right woman you will never have to filter yourself. Instead she will LOVE that aspect of your personality! But you will never find her if you keep hiding your philosophical strong suits. Be your true self and it will work like a magnet. xo

      • alcibiades415

        I hope you’re right. I’ll have faith you’re right. Thanks.

      • alcibiades415

        That’s great, but will never happen. Girls my age seem more interested in their iphones. Thank god for marijuana.

        • Mrrrroowwwr

          Don’t make excuses or blame it on womens’ interests, engage in activities that genuinely interest you and you’ll probably meet more people you are compatible with. Also, most people our age are more interested in their iphones regardless of gender. I’m a girl who prefers marijuana personally 😛

        • iyoume

          Don’t listen to women’s advice on how to attract women. If you do, you will never get laid again.

          NEVER be yourself around women. They don’t want you to be a human being. All you have to do is read their endless checklists to realize that.

          What you should do is take a cue from watching how animals behave at the feeding trough. Do what the animal that’s always the first one to eat does. Be pushy. Bite back.Trample those who nose up too close to what is yours and never for a second think you aren’t entitled to whatever you manage to get for yourself.

          And stop smoking so much pot, it makes you effeminate and lazy.

  • Chloe Tarot

    Im not sure if blending a race or people out of existence is evolution?

    • You completely lost me on that one, Chloe?

    • MarisC

      WTF are you talking about? Unless I’m truly missing something here, this article has absolutely NOTHING to do with what you just stated. HUH?

  • Ime Prezime

    Wait… so are you saying to find a man that is “evolving” as opposed to an “evolved” man?

    • Even Jesus had to come back to finish his evolution. 😉 There is no end point to the journey of personal growth. Look instead for someone who is willing and capable of doing “the work” together. Someone who is willing to embrace their humanity and yet strives to be superhuman. Someone who is wise enough to call themselves out on their own bullshit, and lovingly call you out on yours because they see your higher potential. Someone who is willing to make their own personal growth a priority in both themselves and as the number one goal of the relationship itself. There is no such thing as an “evolved” man or woman. We are all works in progress. Learn to love the work itself and evolve together. <3

      • Ime Prezime

        Thank you Scarlet Amor <3

  • Thank you for posting, Adina! FYI, before y’all get your panties in a bundle, allow me to explain my perspective on this article. I originally wrote it as a sarcastic parody piece to poke at all those overrated “5 signs” blogs and pretentious “evolved man” articles. Written with a slice of raw truth and humor, when it comes down to it this is intended to honor the men out there that ARE doing “the work” and for everyone to remember that we ALL are continual works in progress. Step off your Goddess pedestals, ladies, and one day your ONE will meet you face to face and join you on a journey of a lifetime! And yes, don’t settle for less, it IS worth the wait. And if you are not scared shitless, you are doing it wrong! 😉 xox ~Scarlet Amor

    • Philip Steven Knight

      — “Guru and devotee walk past a 7-11 where some obviously disturbed homeless man is ranting like a lunatic. Probably schizophrenic, drunk or on drugs — or maybe all three. The devotee comments on how unfortunate
      and rather un-enlightened that poor soul must be.

      The guru turns to him and gently yet firmly says, “Perhaps. But he may also be Lord Krishna in disguise.” (Modernized version of classic story)

      While I agree with core “take responsibility for your dharma or life-curriculum” of a C/conscious man or woman, this article is rather what I would call “Whole Foods” or even “Beverly Hills” level of must-or-else state of human perfection.

      Where do the fellow souls who are blind, destitute, disabled, elderly, the suffering, all those outside of the circle of the privileged (let’s grossly call it) New Agers or Yoga-Athlete-Wealthy-People that this description seems to mirror?

      I happen to be one of those people — someone with a form of disability (non-physical) that has resulted in a primarily solitary adult life and a very challenging journey. I own it, for I chose it. Now…

      Would I like or prefer companionship? At times. But does this make me (or an of the other very limited list of fellow souls above) any less worthy or being-doing the best they know how? No.

      So I applaud and honor those of you (be it men or women) that can live up to the list of must-be-or-else presented here. But there is IMO a dismissal of the millions of souls who cannot live up to such standards. Each one of which is walking her or his own dharma, whether they are aware — or conscious — of it or not.

      So my bottom line is to suggest some caution in making such absolute lists of what is and is not “C/conscious”, and that perhaps a dash of humility and a bit more compassion would be befitting.

      I will close with one of my favorite quotations that I albeit imperfectly yet consciously try to walk, which in line with the saying of “Love without wisdom is not love, and wisdom without love is not wisdom”….

      ♣ “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, ‘Is it true?’ At the second ask, ‘Is it necessary?’ At the third gate ask ‘Is it kind?'” ~ Sufi Wisdom ♣

      Philip Steven Knight

      • Karli

        Thank you for saying this so eloquently, Philip! I was struck by the same thing. It’s not competition to see who can be more “evolved”. I don’t think a person’s evolution can be measured by the amount of yoga they do, or Chopra they read. It’s about learning to be kind to each other while being true to yourself. That’s it.

      • Rhyno Stinchfield

        Hmmm. It seems to me that so many woman are striving so hard to evolve that they aren’t always grateful and at peace in the moment. It’s a challenge to always being a mirror and also wanting the intimacy of an equal partner. And there tends to be a lot of judgment on what’s evolved behavior and what is spiritual. That’s my two bits. Thanks for the article.

    • Rhyno Stinchfield

      Hmmm. It seems to me that so many woman are striving so hard to evolve that they aren’t always grateful and at peace in the moment. It’s a challenge to always being a mirror and also wanting the intimacy of an equal partner. And there tends to be a lot of judgment on what’s evolved behavior and what is spiritual. That’s my two bits. Thanks..


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