Sheila Kamara Hay is an Ecstatic Birth advocate and trainer who has experienced firsthand a range of births - from the traumatic to the ecstatic. She has advised and inspired countless women in the creation or reclamation of their births and is passionate about empowering you with tools and resources enjoy birthing your babies. Her own childbirth journeys left her exclaiming, “Why didn’t I know it can be this good? Women need to know!”
“What if I told you it is possible to have an orgasm during childbirth? You read that right: it is possible to orgasm while giving birth! You may be wondering: “How is this possible? How can you have such an experience?” If you want to know how you can experience pleasure during birth, then read on.”
When a woman gives birth, she uses the same parts of her body that she uses during sex, and her body secretes many of the same hormones that are released during intercourse.
In fact, a LOT of sexual energy pulses through a woman’s body when she is giving birth!
“Sex and childbirth and are not two separate, distinct, and unrelated acts that happen to occur nine months apart. There is an informal statistic in natural birth circles that says 20% of women experience orgasmic births.“
Actually, they are part of the same process.
And much like sex, you can enjoy the experience… or not.
The Fear of Pain Is A Pleasure Block
Predominantly as a culture, we aren’t enjoying childbirth right now. In fact, when asked:
“What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word childbirth?”
Most women will answer: pain!
There are a many reasons for this fear, ranging from our cultural conditioning to the medical model of care – as well as a woman’s personal perspective, experience, and heritage.
“A woman who wants to have a pleasurable birth experience has got to transcend some really big barriers, and can use a lot of support, training, and cultural reconditioning. At the deepest level, the rift that needs to be healed is a woman’s disconnection from her own body and her sensual, sexual self.”
7 Steps To Orgasmic Birthing!
#1 Learn To Feel
When you are disconnected from feeling, you are numb to ALL sensations – the good and the bad. Our cultural focus on numbing the intensity of childbirth has blocked us from feeling the intense rapture that childbirth can inspire.
Dropping resistance and learning to feel is a pivotal part of a woman’s ability to become more orgasmic and enjoy childbirth!
#2 Set Up The Room For Sensual Pleasure
How would you set up your room for optimal sensual pleasure? Take this question into your birthing environment and set it up to thrill all of your senses.
“A sensual environment helps us relax into an experience, turn off our minds, and allow our bodies to lead. Dim lighting, privacy, feeling safe, loved, and unhurried.”
These are some things that help us slip into the trance state of labor and birth (and orgasm)!
#3 Get Into A State Of Arousal
Women have as much erectile tissue as men, but it is all internal. Our vaginal walls are capable of stretching waaaaaaay open, but this works best when the tissues are filled with blood and fully engorged.
“Our sexual and birthing anatomy were meant to function with pleasure.”
When we are not engorged, stretching our vaginal walls open in sex or birth can really hurt. Engorgement is part of nature’s primal blueprint for preventing perineal tears (and episiotomies).
#4 Kiss, Moan & Breathe
Research has shown that there is a strong connection between our upper and lower lips (mouth and vagina). The more relaxed and open our mouths and throats are – physically and energetically – the more our bodies soften and open during the birthing process.
“Kissing, moaning, and breathing are tools that are used in many sexual modalities to increase pleasure and extend orgasm, but they are also tools used in natural birth to support the body’s opening (and can have similar side effects of pleasure and ecstasy).”
Laughter and singing also work really well under this principle in bringing pleasure into birth while supporting the body’s opening.
#5 Move Your Hips Sensually
When the sensations feel too intense and the energy coming through you feels overwhelming, instead of resisting, try breathing, singing, moaning, or dancing. Movement and vocalizing are tools that support blood flow and energy flow in the body.
“Resistance to the flow is one of the biggest triggers of pain in childbirth.”
Breathwork and movement, particularly circular movement like hip circles, belly dancing, sensual dance, can help you integrate your experience, get back into your body and into a state of flow.
#6 Move Into Orgasmic States
When a woman orgasms, she releases a cocktail of hormones that support the flow of labor and birth. Oxytocin, known as the love and bonding hormone, also supports uterine contractions. It is released naturally in the birthing woman’s body, but can be increased via sensual pleasure and orgasm (pitocin, which is used in hospitals to induce labor, is the synthetic version of oxytocin).
“Pain and pleasure run on the same neural pathways in the body. Orgasms can support us in transmuting the sensations of labor and birth from pain to pleasure.”
In addition to jump start laboring and moving a sluggish labor along, orgasms can also be used to manage the intensity of sensations. The endorphins released during orgasms are a natural painkiller and tranquilizer, more powerful than any over the counter drugs including morphine (research has shown that these endorphins can increase the pain threshold by nearly 100%!).
The idea of a spontaneous, orgasmic birth, one in which a woman slips into an orgasmic state as part of the birthing process is intriguing, but much like in sex the harder you try the more elusive that can feel. While it really isn’t the point of the experience, it is most likely to occur when birthing is at its best- when a woman is able to let go of her mind (and with it her thoughts, fears, and doubts) and allow her body and the primal blueprint within to take over.
“Orgasmic flow results not from any kind of doing, but from a deeper trance-like connection and surrender.”
For a birthing woman, these 7 secrets can expand her ability to tap into the innate pleasure that resides in her body and use it to support her birthing process. Even greater is the beauty that this is an infinite journey that reverberates beyond birth into a woman’s experience of motherhood and womanhood in general.
Childbirth can be one of the most empowering, transformative and pleasurable experiences in a woman’s life. This is more of an energetic journey than a physical one, but one that you can 100% integrate into your birth preparation.
Let’s get the word out!
By Sheila Kamara
Artist Featured Image: Helene Knoop | Article edited by Chelsie Diadhiou
Editor’s Note: If you don’t believe orgasmic birth is possible check out this video: