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Fuck The Divine Feminine & Divine Masculine

fuck-the-divine-masculine-and-feminine

About Me

Scott DeStephanis is a Men's Relationship Coach and Speaker who has over 7 years of experience in leading seminars, workshops and presentations internationally. Scott's goal is to impact and facilitate connection within relationships by teaching men how to communicate in a way that is true, honest and understood by their partner. His down-to earth manner coupled with his high degree of integrity with his teachings makes him an excellent and easy to understand expert. In his webpage you can learn more about him and download his free e-book: Put Passion In Your Partnership.

More than any sort of divinity what we as humans so desperately need is the freedom to be who we are, exactly the way we are, and to know that that is enough.

As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day I couldn’t help but notice all these articles on men and women:

  • ‘6 Ways to Find a Conscious Man’ or
  • ‘What the Divine Feminine Wants’, ‘
  • What a Real Man Looks Like’,
  • ‘What an Awakened Man Wants in a Woman’

… and on and on and on.

All I could think to myself was what a bunch of bullshit!

Let me first start off by saying that I understand and support the concept of the divine masculine and feminine. I believe that they are useful models for relating to men and women.

I’ve participated in tantric workshops, studied under David Deida, read a number of spiritual texts, and have read a lot of books on masculinity and femininity.

I even had this concept as an integral theme for my wedding ceremony.

I fully get what it is for and about.

The Divine Masculine & Feminine In Real Life

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The original concepts of The Divine Feminine and The Divine Masculine are these:

The Divine Feminine: is the creative essence, she is all about receiving and surrender, fully vibrant, a source of inspiration. She is the spark. Fully in her emotions and completely compassionate.

The Divine Masculine: is all about consciousness, providing structures and safety for the feminine, a builder and creator of things, providing focus and intention to fulfill desires and the wishes of others.

As human beings we are made up of both masculine and feminine dynamics.

More and more though I am finding that the model of the “Divine Feminine and Masculine” are idealistic and unrealistic for everyday life.

They are certainly useful. They are just not attainable on a sustainable level.

The Real Life Struggles Of The Divine Femininity

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Women are becoming more and more empowered in their life and in order for them to be more effective they can’t operate in a place of “complete surrender and being able to receive” all the time.

Sometimes their positions in work or life require them to get more active, create structures and manage systems in order to be effective.

If a woman was only in her Divine Feminine she’d never get anything done that required structure, timelines or planning, even the ones she holds dear and close to her heart.

There’s already enough garbage out there about how women are not enough. We’ve done a great job of pushing women’s self esteem down if they don’t subscribe to an unattainable standard of beauty, do we really need to add a new way of being to the list of ways they don’t measure up?

Must Read: Top 10 Traits Of A Fully Empowered Woman

The Real Life Struggles Of The Divine Masculinity

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As men we already subscribe to the belief that we need to have our shit together; always know what to do, be living our legacy and working our plan. This can hurt us by furthering many of the already existing stereotypes.

We as men have bought into this idea that we are supposed to be masculine, but also emotional with just the right amount of toughness, heart, enlightenment, compassion and ruthlessness needed to be the PERFECT actualized version of a man.

A man out of touch with his feminine side can never create something as inspiration is a source of feminine energy.

Furthermore, his life will lack purpose and creativity and any vibrancy.

Yet another impossible standard to try and attain and has men, good men (who may not measure up in some or all of these areas) left feeling and being perceived as ‘not enough’.

MUST READ: The Awakening Man {A Guide To Become A Conscious & Powerful Man}

Fuck Idealized Archetypes!

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I have all the room in the world for what these words represent, and what they can allow for. But when they become the new standard to measure up to, that is where we should draw the line.

It is for that reason, and that reason alone, I say Fuck you to both of these archetypes.

These idealized models for behaviour have their uses but they have been overused and as a result are no different than photoshopped magazine covers creating unattainable standards that make us feel bad about ourselves when we don’t reach them.

I think the solution isn’t to try and identify with and be The Divine Masculine or Feminine.

That’s the standard we’ve been operating inside of and let’s face it… it hasn’t been working.

Instead we should allow ourselves to play in these aspects of the masculine and feminine, and see them as an opportunity and one possible way we can operate as humans that may offer us a new path to growth.

To me the ideal place is when we are free to be who we are and express ourselves fully without concern for appearing, less than what the ‘ideal’ is.

So please, let’s stop touting them as the next big revelation in relating and let’s understand that both those archetypes already exist in us and you will never fully embody them all of the time and that it is okay.

I think it would make a lot of us happier if we didn’t have the pressure of living up to a standard that has been socially and culturally imposed.

More than any sort of divinity what we as humans so desperately need is the freedom to be who we are, exactly the way we are, and to know that that is enough.

That to me is what is truly sacred and holy.

What are your thoughts on the conversation of Divine Masculine or Feminine? I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!

By Scott Destephanis | Featured Art By: Boris Vallejo | Art Inside Article By: Thomas Saliot

MUST READ: Why I Don’t Fuck Spiritual Guys

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  • Jessica M. Brookes

    “More than any sort of divinity what we as humans so desperately need is the freedom to be who we are, exactly the way we are, and to know that that is enough.” I agree. And that’s a great personal affirmation. I also feel that there are some people who express themselves by creating unnecessary drama, unfulfilled commitments and are energetically draining. Do I honour myself by having them in my life? Consciously, I have to bow out and say no thank you.

  • Joshua Seaman

    Google reverse image search tells me the paintings are by Thomas Sailot – http://www.thomassaliot.com/

  • mesq

    What don’t you close your quotes?

  • Stella Mill

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