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Ever Experienced Pain During Sex? Here’s Why!


About Me

Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. She is also the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and the host of the weekly radio show Eros Evolution on OMTimes Radio.

Pain during sex is a serious issue. If left untreated, it can lead to an emotional and physical shutdown.

Pain during sex is not unusual. It’s called dyspareunia.

Studies show that 30 percent of women experience it at some point during their lifetime.

But in addition to the physical discomfort, pain during sex can also have negative psychological effects.

This combination can take a great toll on our sexual desire and even our relationships.

So let us look into the reasons and possible solutions to this condition.

5 Possible Reasons and Remedies for Painful Sex

#1 Vaginismus


Vaginismus is an involuntary contraction of the muscles at the opening of the vagina. It can make penetration difficult and in some instances impossible.

It is the most common issue I see when working with women and, in the majority of cases, Vaginismus is caused by a psychological fear of pain from penetration.

Possible Solution: The best way to combat this issue is to seek the help and guidance of a holistic psychologist or/and sexologist. Working on this issue usually means to work on your inner self, past pain or/and physical or emotional trauma.

MUST READ: 7 Unique Ways to Transform Sexual Trauma into Orgasmic Bliss

#2 Vaginal Dryness


There is a misconception that vaginal dryness is always caused by a lack of adequate foreplay.

In reality, dryness can be caused by anxiety, the side effects of medication, irritants, an imbalanced diet with little water intake and range of psychological issues.

Furthermore, one out of every three women experience vaginal dryness when going into menopause (as the level of estrogen in their bodies decreases).

Possible solution: Address vaginal dryness by using an all natural lubricant, focusing on foreplay, checking your overall health and optimizing your nutrition to a diet rich in fibers, fresh fruits and high water intake. If you have any intense burning, itching, or vaginal discomfort call your doctor.

MUST READ: The Most Powerful 3-Step Guide To Vaginal Dryness You Have Ever Read

#3 Vaginal Infections


Yeast infections are the most common type of vaginal infections. The symptoms of this type of vaginal infection are burning, itchiness, and potential inflammation of the vaginal tissue. Having sex when you have an infection can put your partner at risk and lead to uncomfortable and sometimes painful sex

Possible solution: If you suspect you may have a yeast infection, please call your doctor. Solving the infection might help to heal painful intercourse.

MUST READ: How To Use Garlic Against Vaginal Infections

MUST READ: 4 Reasons Apple Cider Vinegar is a Powerful Weapon against Yeast Infection

#4 Low Sex Drive


Low sex drive can be the result of psychological factors such as stress, fatigue, shame, awkwardness or guilt around sex. It can also be the result of physical factors such as inelastic vaginal tissue (brought about by vaginal dryness).

And all of these factors can lead to painful sex.

Possible solution: As you work to try and understand the root of your low sex drive, it is important to communicate your feelings with your partner and, if the issue persists (whether as a result of psychological or physical factors) consider consulting a doctor or sex therapist.

MUST READ: 10 Crazy Ways How Your Sex Drive (Low & High) Influences Your Life

#5 Other Medical and Surgical Conditions


Other factors such as ovarian cysts, endometriosis, fibroids, skin disorders, side effects of surgery and even childbirth can cause pain during intercourse.

Possible solution: You should always consider speaking about the pain you are feeling. Reach out to your doctor, or a physiotherapist, and never hesitate to ask questions or seek a second opinion.

MUST READ: Even the Vagina Gets Grumpy – 5 Causes of Vaginal Irritation

You deserve to be happy, healthy and have a pleasurable sex life.

So please remember that feeling pain during sex is something to take seriously. It’s your body crying for help.

So don’t wait.

Talk openly with your partner about what you’re experiencing, and don’t hesitate to involve your holistic doctor. Talking about it is the first step to emotional and physical healing.

By Martha Lee | Featured Artist: William Merritt | Edited by Bailey

Check out this video to learn how to boost your sex drive:


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  • Lee

    Vaginal dryness is a regular recurrent occurrence right after menstruation. Classical Chinese medical reasoning would say the “yin” of the body- associated with fluids,moisture, damp, wet, heavy, receptive, holding, feminine, substance- is depleted after losing so much blood, which is also a yin substance. After a few days should be back to normal. Yin is also associated with hormones, such as estrogen. Levels of estrogen are at their lowest at onset of menstruation and gradually rise daily, however are still low at its end, and peaking at ovulation.


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