Caitlin Grace is an Intimate Relationship Whisperer and Wellbeing Coach and feels she has been preparing for her role her whole life. She is an accredited Journey therapist, Reiki level 3 and EFT practitioner. Caitlin’s driving passion is to help people live their best lives through empowering them to take charge of their own wellbeing. She is a strong advocate of the mind body connection and believes we can only be truly well when we have let go of our underlying limiting beliefs. Caitlin has been married and divorced and has been in her current relationship for twenty years. She has three sons, four step daughters and nine grandchildren. Caitlin is a self-proclaimed Sex Goddess and empowers other women to become the same.
Now there is a phrase that you don’t see every day! In fact if we paid attention to the media we would tend to think that our vaginas are anything but awesome.
Watching television we get the impression that our vaginas smell
Watching television we get the impression that our vaginas smell and we NEED to wear pantyliners to maintain our “freshness”. We also bleed but menstrual blood is too disgusting to show on television unlike regular blood which we see in copious amounts on any crime show. Oh and let’s not forget that our pubic hair needs to be trimmed at the very least in order for us to appear desirable.
And let’s not mention menopause where they really go to town telling us that we will become dried up and sex will become uncomfortable without some magic potion.
None of that inspires confidence.
None of that makes feel great about our genitalia.
What the media don’t tell us is how incredible our vagina truly is.
Picture, if you will, a tampon, a fully erect penis (take a deep breath and calm down) and a baby’s head . What do these things have in common?
Give yourself a high five if you guessed that they all can be COMFORTABLY accommodated in your vagina (not all at once obviously, that would just be weird). Yes, we can stretch to push out a baby’s head, our amazing cervix stretches to 10 cm (go get a ruler and see what that looks like, I’ll wait. Impressive no?) to deliver a baby. And then it snaps back to its normal size!! Our vagina also does its part in helping with the delivery of a baby and it also returns to its regular size, although it is never quite the same again.
The Perfect Vagina
Some of us really struggle with this and long for the days when our vagina (and lets face it the rest of our bodies!) were as taut and fabulous as they were pre baby. The simple fact of the matter is that our vagina is constantly changing, just like the rest of our bodies. The skin tone changes, just like our face. Our lips become thinner as the oestrogen levels drop.
Sadly some women are taking to labiaplasty in search of the perfect vagina not realising that they will also be damaging vital nerve endings that can enhance your sexual experience. In tribal cultures we Westerners call it “genital mutilation” But its ok if a plastic surgeon does it and charges thousands of dollars.
As a Brazilian Waxer she constantly heard women apologising for the smell and asking if their vagina was “normal”
Let’s face it our genitals are something that we share with only a small number of people. Sure doctors get to see them and maybe your local beauty clinic if you go for the whole waxing routine. Other than that it is people that you invite into your bed. NONE of these people are judging you! Sharon Tierney author of “The Vagina Buffet”” wrote her book because as a Brazilian waxer she constantly heard women apologising for the smell and asking if their vagina was “normal”.
If I could take one word out of the English language it would be “normal” (and “should” and well ,ok maybe its best I’m not in charge). Why? Because what’s normal to me may not be to you. It’s a question of perspective. My vagina seems completely normal to me (and quite lovely, thanks for asking) but I haven’t seen yours (I’m sure it’s lovely to!) and frankly, don’t want to.
The Great Wall of Vagina
Jamie McCartney took hundreds of plaster cast moulds of vaginas to help change the perception women had of their vagina. Check it out here. I have to say I was fascinated as nowhere in amongst the 400 vaginas did I see another quite like mine. We are all as individual and unique as snowflakes and its time we started embracing that rather that trying to fit into some ill-defined concept of “normal”
According to Seymour Fisher, author of “The Female O”, feelings of insecurity about our body or our relationship can totally derail our ability to climax and where is the fun in that? Embrace your vagina and focus on all the FUN that the two of you have together.