Ejaculation Is So Oldschool – The Cool Kids Don’t Ejaculate
What feels like release, is more like depletion…
Most women would love their men to last longer in bed, and most men yearn to overcome premature ejaculation.
In my work as a sex coach, many male clients reach out to me because they come too quickly.
It’s all over way too fast!
Yet when most men try to last longer in bed, they use the wrong approach. They focus on technique – squeeze this, breathe there, and so on. However, these methods produce inconsistent results. Starting with the ‘how’ just doesn’t work.
The secret to lasting as long as you want is to first understand the ‘whys’ around ejaculation:
- Why do you ejaculate?
- Why doesn’t ejaculation serve you?
- Why will ejaculation-control transform your life?
When you find strong enough reasons not to ejaculate, it will be easy to last longer and have more ejaculation control. There are still practices, techniques, and tips that help, but these are easier to master once you understand your ‘why’.
Why Do You Ejaculate?
Aside from needing to ejaculate to make a baby, most men choose to ejaculate so that they experience pleasure.
For those few seconds, intense pleasure is all that exists.
Another reason we choose to ejaculate is to experience a release. It provides a relief from tension and stress and it helps us feel peaceful and fall asleep. Some men ejaculate simply because they feel horny and need to relieve the sexual tension.
Now there’s nothing morally or ethically wrong with ejaculating. It’s a beautiful and natural part of being a man, but there are ways to orgasm without ejaculating.
Still, the majority of men continue to ejaculate every time they have sex or masturbate. Why is this?
I believe most men ejaculate because they don’t know that there is a powerful alternative.
A man can actually last as long as he wishes while experiencing wave after wave of whole-body pleasure and orgasms that last many minutes and even hours. And then, rather than ejaculating, a man can consciously choose to move the sexual energy to other parts of his body so that he doesn’t feel tense and horny. This energy can then be used to empower other aspects of his life rather than being depleted through ejaculation.
Why Doesn’t Ejaculation Serve You?
Even though the reasons for ejaculating are natural and reasonable, they are generally shallow and superficial. The pleasure only lasts for about ten to fifteen seconds. It’s a short and sharp peak of pleasure followed by an immediate crash. And what feels like release, is more like depletion.
So let’s look at the other effects of ejaculating that really don’t serve you.
Note: You could experience most or only some of these effects.
Quick and Unsatisfying Sex
The average time from the moment of penetration to ejaculation is just five minutes. This
doesn’t really allow enough time for truly pleasurable, connected, and orgasmic sex.
Inability to Satisfy Your Partner
The majority of women need twenty to thirty minutes of penetrative sex to reach a vaginal,
G-spot, or whole-body orgasm. If you ejaculate too fast, you’re denying your partner the more meaningful orgasm she deserves.
MUST READ: Premature Ejaculation.. Bye-Bye! 6 Unusual Ways To Last Looooonger
Poor Self Esteem
Many men experience deep self-judgement around their inability to last as long as they like, or
long enough to satisfy their partner.
Loss of Erection
Most men lose their erection after ejaculating so penetrative sex comes to an end for a time. As a
man grows older, it takes longer and longer after ejaculation to get erect again.
MUST WATCH: ♥ Natural Viagra Recipe {DIY} ♥ For Conscious Men ♥
Loss of Desire
Men don’t just lose their erection after ejaculation, but also their passion and desire for their
partner. Any sex after ejaculation usually becomes mechanical or with the sole purpose
of bringing their partner to orgasm.
Goal-Oriented Sex
Most men get caught up having mechanical or self-centered sex because their only aim is to come.
Emotional and Mental Numbness
Some men feel a little ‘foggy’, numb, or even ‘brain dead’ after ejaculating. This can cause men to become more docile after sex and lose some of their masculine presence and direction.
Frustration, Sadness, and Depression
Some men don’t feel bad because they ejaculated too early, but because whenever they
ejaculate, they don’t really feel satisfied.
They sense a futility in ejaculation.
Loss of Connection With Your Partner
While you are having sex, you feel connected with your partner, seeing her as an attractive,
sexy woman. After ejaculation, while still loving their partner, men often feel less
connected to her, less interested, and even irritable.
Loss of Energy and Vitality
It’s common for men to get tired and even fall asleep after sex. This is why athletes don’t have
sex before a match or a competition.
Why Will Ejaculation-Control Transform Your Life?
When you become aware of the many ways in which ejaculation doesn’t serve you it gives you a bigger reason – a bigger ‘why’ – to not only last longer but also to ejaculate less frequently. You’ll still have great sex and enjoy non-ejaculatory orgasms, and even become more powerful and masculine.
There are three main benefits to Ejaculation Control: Pleasure, Love, and Power.
[sociallocker id=”13917″]Pleasure ?
When you learn to control your ejaculation, you can have sex for longer – much longer – and experience new kinds of pleasure and orgasmic states that you didn’t even imagine were possible.
Yes! You can have an orgasm without ejaculating.
It’s just a different kind of pleasure compared to an ejaculatory orgasm. You’re not giving up on pleasure. In fact, you will experience much more pleasure via non-ejaculatory orgasms and orgasmic states that will nurture, replenish, and empower you.
Another aspect of pleasure is your partner’s pleasure. When you can control your ejaculation, you can bring your partner to new heights of pleasure, multiple orgasms, and ecstasy. And it’s not just because of the extra time you are able to move inside her, but also the increased sexual energy that you have.
You will find that you are better able to bring women to orgasm.
MUST READ: The Fine Art of Penis Thrusting
There is also the pleasure that you will experience in witnessing your woman in the throes of ecstasy for long minutes and even hours at a time. Seeing a woman in her pleasure as one of the most pleasurable, exciting, and satisfying things we can do.
Love ❤
Longer-lasting sex isn’t just more of the same. The quality of the interaction changes and deepens. You will feel much more love, connection, appreciation, and union with your partner. When you learn to control your ejaculation you are able to feel and relate to your partner more meaningfully.
This turns sex and fucking into lovemaking.
It’s not just the sex that gets better. When you have great sex, your relationship becomes better. You will both experience greater attraction and sexual polarity. Suddenly, the little things don’t matter as much because you’re both more deeply satisfied sexually.
MUST READ: How to Truly Satisfy a Woman: 5 Tips to Become Her Best Lover Everrrrrr!
When you are more satisfied, your relationships with your family, kids, friends, and colleagues also improve.
Power ?
Sometimes not being able to last very long in bed is connected to an inability for handling intensity.
You might be coming too fast because you haven’t learned how to handle the intensity of your own sexual energy.
But this can mean that you find other kinds of intensity too much to handle as well. Perhaps it’s deep intimacy, a lot of money in your bank account, a higher position at work, an artistic achievement, or a leadership role in your community? This can affect so many aspects of your life and become disempowering.
Here are some of the ways taking control of your ejaculation can empower you.
Increased Energy and Vitality
When you don’t ejaculate, you don’t get tired after sex. That energy is then available to you after sex as physical power.
Better Health and Immune System
Your ejaculatory fluid contains vital minerals and nutrients and is also charged with your
life-force energy. When you practice ejaculation control this all remains available for your body to use.
Increased Virility
You’ll enjoy stronger erections that last longer because you’re not dissipating your sexual energy regularly.
Ability to Create and Manifest
Sexual fluids and sexual energy are related to creating new life. When you are able to control your sexual energy and retain your creative fluids, it will be easier to create things in other aspects of your life and to manifest your dreams into existence.
Greater Spiritual Awareness
Nearly all spiritual and religious traditions recommend reducing the frequency of ejaculation
because of its hindrance to spiritual practice. As you let go of the bodily, even animalistic, urge to ejaculate, you will become spiritually stronger.
[/sociallocker]Learning to Control My Ejaculation Has Changed My Life
I’ve been experimenting with lasting longer in bed for around fifteen years and have practiced sexual Tantra for the last ten. I sometimes go one or two months without ejaculating at all, but this is not to say that I don’t orgasm. Indeed, I experience many different kinds of pleasure and orgasm states, and at times, I have penetrative sex for an hour or more.
If you stay connected to the ‘why’, this is possible for you too. The pleasure and release you once perceived to be the goal of sex will be inferior to the power you enjoy by controlling your ejaculation.
What aspects of the ‘why’ have most resonated with you and how are they affecting your life?
PS- Check back soon for our how-to guide to ejaculation control ?
By Eyal Matsliah| Edited By Serena Gee
Click here to check out Eyal’s free 7-day Ejaculation Control Training
Related Reads:
5 F*cked Up Myths About Men’s Sexuality
The Forbidden Zone – A Guide To Anal- and Prostate Stimulation for Men
The Awakening Man {A Guide To Become A Conscious & Powerful Man}
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As a woman who was married to someone who barely ejaculated for 7 years. Sometimes that shit gets old and you yearn for cum…for an ending.
This is superb but Where is the article about the guide to ejaculation control you promised.. We want it soon plz
How to is coming this week 🙂
Now it’s been another week! When will you publish it? ????
It is already published 🙂 here’s the link. Enjoy <3
https://mytinysecrets.com/4-suuuper-simple-steps-to-last-longer-in-bed/
But it’s important to ejaculate more often, because it decreases your risk of getting prostate cancer.
That’s not actually true. There is a correlation, not a causation between ejaculation frequency and risk of cancer, which means the two are related but one does not cause the other.
On top of that, there are no studies about the health benefits of ejaculation control while moving your sexual energy. Any researchers out there want to run a study?
I have started to experiment with no-ejaculation sex about twenty five years ago and
was amazed with satisfying differences in comparison with commonly used (procreative)
sex. I was wandering about the reason and concluded that it is probably due to
different hormonal changes at the basis of two kinds of orgasms, with and
without ejaculation. I have investigated further and exposed my findings and
means to achieve this in my book Love And The Body. https://www.izvorznanja.com/index.php?route=product/product&keyword=love&product_id=352
I really liked your post, you made some really good point. It shows that you have in-depth study and experience on the topic. As someone who has studied this topic deeply too, I have a couple of things that I want to point out:
1. You may be contradicting yourself when you say “Even though the reasons for ejaculating are natural and reasonable, they are generally shallow and superficial.” How can something be natural and reasonable yet shallow and and superficial? Is there a flaw in the natural design of things? While it is true that there are other modalities of using sexual energy and orgasm, I think that you are really stigmatizing regular orgasm, and for regular men out there, it comes off as yet another “performance” to attain which just does them a disservice.
2. You talk about athletes not having sex before competition. It’s been proven over and over again that this is an urban myth at best. Studies have actually been conducted on this, and most show that orgasm actually INCREASES performance due to the release of hormones which relax the body, combat pain, boost metabolism and the immune system. And testosterone which is also released during sex can be seen as a natural performance enhancing drug. Because of this, the Olympic committee are often prepared for the volume of sex athletes have and distribute lots of condoms in Olympic villages. You can even look up how much athletes have sex during the competitions.
3. I’m curious, how long have you gone without orgasm? Because it has also been proven that going too long actually decreases sperm quality. And the body needs to get rid of sperm to keep a fresh batch. So by 8 weeks or so you will be having wet dreams as the body’s last resort to get rid of it. So what’s been your experience? Research has been conducted on this and I can verify it with my experience.
So here’s my point: you may be mixing up sacred sex with just enjoyable sex. Most people when they want to last longer, it’s not months and they don’t necessarily want to do it for spiritual purposes, it’s because they want to have a good time with their partner. This post is such an overkill that it will give guys just getting started on this path skewed expectations.