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Ejaculation Is So Oldschool – The Cool Kids Don’t Ejaculate


About Me

Eyal Matsliah is a sexual empowerment coach, author and speaker. He helps professionals unleash their pleasure, power and purpose. Embracing and harnessing their sexual energy allows them to express their creative gifts, help others and live a more meaningful life. Eyal’s online program helps men control their sexual energy to pleasure their partner, gain new confidence, and rock their mission!

What feels like release, is more like depletion…

Most women would love their men to last longer in bed, and most men yearn to overcome premature ejaculation.

In my work as a sex coach, many male clients reach out to me because they come too quickly.

It’s all over way too fast!

Yet when most men try to last longer in bed, they use the wrong approach. They focus on technique – squeeze this, breathe there, and so on. However, these methods produce inconsistent results. Starting with the ‘how’ just doesn’t work.

The secret to lasting as long as you want is to first understand the ‘whys’ around ejaculation:

  •      Why do you ejaculate?
  •      Why doesn’t ejaculation serve you?
  •     Why will ejaculation-control transform your life?

When you find strong enough reasons not to ejaculate, it will be easy to last longer and have more ejaculation control. There are still practices, techniques, and tips that help, but these are easier to master once you understand your ‘why’.

Why Do You Ejaculate?

ejaculate, male orgasm

Aside from needing to ejaculate to make a baby, most men choose to ejaculate so that they experience pleasure.

For those few seconds, intense pleasure is all that exists.

Another reason we choose to ejaculate is to experience a release. It provides a relief from tension and stress and it helps us feel peaceful and fall asleep. Some men ejaculate simply because they feel horny and need to relieve the sexual tension.

Now there’s nothing morally or ethically wrong with ejaculating. It’s a beautiful and natural part of being a man, but there are ways to orgasm without ejaculating.

Still, the majority of men continue to ejaculate every time they have sex or masturbate. Why is this?

I believe most men ejaculate because they don’t know that there is a powerful alternative.

A man can actually last as long as he wishes while experiencing wave after wave of whole-body pleasure and orgasms that last many minutes and even hours. And then, rather than ejaculating, a man can consciously choose to move the sexual energy to other parts of his body so that he doesn’t feel tense and horny. This energy can then be used to empower other aspects of his life rather than being depleted through ejaculation.

Why Doesn’t Ejaculation Serve You?

last longer in bed

Even though the reasons for ejaculating are natural and reasonable, they are generally shallow and superficial. The pleasure only lasts for about ten to fifteen seconds. It’s a short and sharp peak of pleasure followed by an immediate crash. And what feels like release, is more like depletion.

So let’s look at the other effects of ejaculating that really don’t serve you.

Note: You could experience most or only some of these effects.


Quick and Unsatisfying Sex

The average time from the moment of penetration to ejaculation is just five minutes. This

doesn’t really allow enough time for truly pleasurable, connected, and orgasmic sex.

Inability to Satisfy Your Partner

The majority of women need twenty to thirty minutes of penetrative sex to reach a vaginal,

G-spot, or whole-body orgasm. If you ejaculate too fast, you’re denying your partner the more meaningful orgasm she deserves.

MUST READ: Premature Ejaculation.. Bye-Bye! 6 Unusual Ways To Last Looooonger

Poor Self Esteem

Many men experience deep self-judgement around their inability to last as long as they like, or

long enough to satisfy their partner.

Loss of Erection

Most men lose their erection after ejaculating so penetrative sex comes to an end for a time. As a

man grows older, it takes longer and longer after ejaculation to get erect again.

MUST WATCH: ♥ Natural Viagra Recipe {DIY} ♥ For Conscious Men ♥

Loss of Desire

Men don’t just lose their erection after ejaculation, but also their passion and desire for their

partner. Any sex after ejaculation usually becomes mechanical or with the sole purpose

of bringing their partner to orgasm.

Goal-Oriented Sex

Most men get caught up having mechanical or self-centered sex because their only aim is to come.

Emotional and Mental Numbness

Some men feel a little ‘foggy’, numb, or even ‘brain dead’ after ejaculating. This can cause men to become more docile after sex and lose some of their masculine presence and direction.

Frustration, Sadness, and Depression

Some men don’t feel bad because they ejaculated too early, but because whenever they

ejaculate, they don’t really feel satisfied.

They sense a futility in ejaculation.
Loss of Connection With Your Partner

While you are having sex, you feel connected with your partner, seeing her as an attractive,

sexy woman. After ejaculation, while still loving their partner, men often feel less

connected to her, less interested, and even irritable.

Loss of Energy and Vitality

It’s common for men to get tired and even fall asleep after sex. This is why athletes don’t have

sex before a match or a competition.

Why Will Ejaculation-Control Transform Your Life?

ejaculation control

When you become aware of the many ways in which ejaculation doesn’t serve you  it gives you a bigger reason – a bigger ‘why’ to not only last longer but also to ejaculate less frequently. You’ll still have great sex and enjoy non-ejaculatory orgasms, and even become more powerful and masculine.

There are three main benefits to Ejaculation Control: Pleasure, Love, and Power.

Learning to Control My Ejaculation Has Changed My Life

premature ejaculation solution

I’ve been experimenting with lasting longer in bed for around fifteen years and have practiced sexual Tantra for the last ten. I sometimes go one or two months without ejaculating at all, but this is not to say that I don’t orgasm. Indeed, I experience many different kinds of pleasure and orgasm states, and at times, I have penetrative sex for an hour or more.

If you stay connected to the ‘why’, this is possible for you too. The pleasure and release you once perceived to be the goal of sex will be inferior to the power you enjoy by controlling your ejaculation.

What aspects of the ‘why’ have most resonated with you and how are they affecting your life?

PS- Check back soon for our how-to guide to ejaculation control ?
By Eyal Matsliah| Edited By Serena Gee
Click here to check out Eyal’s free 7-day Ejaculation Control Training

Related Reads:

5 F*cked Up Myths About Men’s Sexuality
The Forbidden Zone – A Guide To Anal- and Prostate Stimulation for Men
The Awakening Man {A Guide To Become A Conscious & Powerful Man}


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Share Your Thoughts

  • Suzi Whoreman

    As a woman who was married to someone who barely ejaculated for 7 years. Sometimes that shit gets old and you yearn for cum…for an ending.

  • krishna mallikarjun

    This is superb but Where is the article about the guide to ejaculation control you promised.. We want it soon plz

  • Pinkie-Dawn

    But it’s important to ejaculate more often, because it decreases your risk of getting prostate cancer.

    • That’s not actually true. There is a correlation, not a causation between ejaculation frequency and risk of cancer, which means the two are related but one does not cause the other.
      On top of that, there are no studies about the health benefits of ejaculation control while moving your sexual energy. Any researchers out there want to run a study?

      • Davor Stančić

        I have started to experiment with no-ejaculation sex about twenty five years ago and
        was amazed with satisfying differences in comparison with commonly used (procreative)
        sex. I was wandering about the reason and concluded that it is probably due to
        different hormonal changes at the basis of two kinds of orgasms, with and
        without ejaculation. I have investigated further and exposed my findings and
        means to achieve this in my book Love And The Body. http://www.izvorznanja.com/index.php?route=product/product&keyword=love&product_id=352

      • Nehemiah

        I really liked your post, you made some really good point. It shows that you have in-depth study and experience on the topic. As someone who has studied this topic deeply too, I have a couple of things that I want to point out:
        1. You may be contradicting yourself when you say “Even though the reasons for ejaculating are natural and reasonable, they are generally shallow and superficial.” How can something be natural and reasonable yet shallow and and superficial? Is there a flaw in the natural design of things? While it is true that there are other modalities of using sexual energy and orgasm, I think that you are really stigmatizing regular orgasm, and for regular men out there, it comes off as yet another “performance” to attain which just does them a disservice.
        2. You talk about athletes not having sex before competition. It’s been proven over and over again that this is an urban myth at best. Studies have actually been conducted on this, and most show that orgasm actually INCREASES performance due to the release of hormones which relax the body, combat pain, boost metabolism and the immune system. And testosterone which is also released during sex can be seen as a natural performance enhancing drug. Because of this, the Olympic committee are often prepared for the volume of sex athletes have and distribute lots of condoms in Olympic villages. You can even look up how much athletes have sex during the competitions.
        3. I’m curious, how long have you gone without orgasm? Because it has also been proven that going too long actually decreases sperm quality. And the body needs to get rid of sperm to keep a fresh batch. So by 8 weeks or so you will be having wet dreams as the body’s last resort to get rid of it. So what’s been your experience? Research has been conducted on this and I can verify it with my experience.
        So here’s my point: you may be mixing up sacred sex with just enjoyable sex. Most people when they want to last longer, it’s not months and they don’t necessarily want to do it for spiritual purposes, it’s because they want to have a good time with their partner. This post is such an overkill that it will give guys just getting started on this path skewed expectations.


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