5 F*cked Up Myths About Men’s Sexuality
About Me
Dr. Deborah Anapol is a relationship coach, seminar leader and author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love and Polyamory in the 21st Century.
About Me
Dr. Deborah Anapol is a relationship coach, seminar leader and author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love and Polyamory in the 21st Century.Men are more interested in sex… Bull****!
Modern society and media have painted a very clear, cut and dry picture of men’s sexuality. Men are wild, horny creatures that must be captured and tamed by a woman, else he go spreading his seed throughout the world. But honestly, it’s mostly a load of crap. It’s time to set things straight. Women, you owe it to the men in your lives to better understand them, and men, you just might learn something about yourselves.
Here are 5 fucked up myths about men’s sexuality that you probably thought were true.
Myth #1: Men are NOT naturally monogamous, but women are.
I’ve always figured that this one is simply wishful thinking on the part of the male scientists who persistently reached this conclusion until new data made it an insupportable position.
Women are taught to restrict their sexual attraction to one guy at a time and have been severely punished for straying from this. However, women’s biology and personality are both well suited to multiple partners — even more so than men’s.
The masculine often has a deep desire for simplicity, and monogamy is generally much more simple than non-monogamy.
Women have been shown to be better at multitasking, and to have better communication skills, both important factors in multi-partner relationships. Also, because women generally take more time to become sexually aroused, to reach orgasm, and are less likely to be “finished” after one orgasm, having more than one partner may actually work to their advantage.
MUST-READ: Monogamy Is Not For Amateurs [Read This To Find Out If You Are One]
It’s safe to say that men are no better suited to monogamy than women are.
Myth #2: Men are more interested in sex than women.
Nature wants all of us engaged in reproducing the species!
Women can become disinterested in sex as a result of childhood abuse, rape, social conditioning, body challenges, unaddressed relationship issues, unskilled lovemaking, or demands of juggling children and work, but these all represent deviations from her inherent nature. When freed of sex-negative conditioning and social judgments, women crave erotic connection just as much, if not more, than their male counterparts.
MUST-READ: The Incredible Benefits Of Mutual Masturbation
It may appear that men are more interested in sex because their sex organs are less mysterious and hidden than women’s, and because they are taught that sex is about their own pleasure.
Both men and women can benefit from learning more about their own bodies, and seeking instruction in how to give and receive pleasure.
[sociallocker id=”13629″]Myth #3: Men must ejaculate to experience sexual pleasure.
This is a very common belief but ask any man who has learned to separate orgasm from ejaculation and he will tell you there are many benefits to non-ejaculatory orgasm.
For many men orgasm without ejaculation enables him to be multi-orgasmic, to maintain consistent sexual energy, desire, and confidence, and to magnetically attract interested partners.
Once men learn to orgasm without ejaculation they rarely want to go back to ejaculating every time.
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That said, the idea is not to shame men out of their ejaculation but to recognize that they have choices.
Myth #4: A man must have an erection to enjoy sexual play.
While men do tend to equate sex and intercourse, the reality is that exciting sexual play encompasses much more than the penis and vagina. Foreplay does not require an erection, and the process of arousing a woman and feeling her turn on can be very pleasurable in itself if the mind is not preoccupied with performance concerns.
MUST-READ: Soft Penises Are Awesome. Here’s Why!
A semi-erect penis can be more sensitive to subtle sensations, and less driven to seek release.
This allows a man to increase his capacity to experience and enjoy erotic sensations throughout his body, and to contain more erotic energy which can eventually be shared with a partner, with or without penetration.
[/sociallocker]Myth #5: The bigger the penis, the better.
Compatibility of size is the real issue. A big penis and a small vagina are not a happy combination.
Knowing how to use the penis skillfully is far more important than size.
This can be learned. A smaller penis is often easier to maneuver inside the vagina, and may motivate the man to explore a variety of ways to please his lover.
MUST-READ: The Myth Of The Big Black Penis
The main problem with a smaller penis is the man’s belief that he’s inadequate or not good enough. Many men have this concern even when their penis is larger than average and refuse to believe it’s not an issue for the woman. A man who believes his penis is too small also becomes an easy target for an angry woman who knows just how to push his insecurity and shame buttons. Don’t fall for it, guys!
This is just a snapshot of the myths and misconceptions out there, and they all stem from a lack of knowledge, communication, and education.
It is so important for our sexual wellbeing that we keep these channels open, follow our instincts, and strive to learn as much about ourselves as we can.
Dr. Deborah Anapol | Edited by Serena Gee
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Very good, especially #1.