Cock Consciousness: ‘How To Reconnect To Your Sacred Sword’
About Me
Jamie Catto is a musician, film maker, writer and activist.“It’s not the cock’s job to get its man a sense of well-being, sexual prowess, pride or self-worth.”
I was looking at my penis today – applying some oil and care – and it struck me very sadly how much I have enslaved my cock and my sexuality in my life.
I have treated it as if its job was to deliver me certain things, things which are beyond its intended offering and function.
Using my cock to please women, ‘be a great lover’ and deliver lots of pleasure and satisfaction so I can feel sexually powerful (or even just adequate), is a form of enslavement of the cock…
..and I’ve been feeling some sadness and regret around that today. The pressure to ‘deliver’.”
Of course, beautiful, connected sex is not in the same realm, but the times I’ve used sex – either with a woman or by myself – to fill a gap, avoid loneliness, or to make me feel powerful, lovable or special.. that is not what my glorious cock was born for.
I want to apologize to my penis and all cocks of the world for the unconscious ways we have sent them on ‘missions’ they were never trained for.
Masculinity And Vulnerability
I’m treating my cock with much more care now. I’m no longer using it as a tool of unconsciousness, avoidance, and escape of emotional and ancestral wounding, or as a tool of compensation for the spaces and edges in my masculinity.
So a new journey of deeply respecting my cock in a much more aware and focused way begins.
The alternative to prostituting our penises to ‘fill the holes’ of our insecurities and emotional needs is to make a practice of investigating and fully feeling those energies of lack and need that live in us.
Sex can be an addictive way of burying those feelings, but the Modern Warrior is training himself to feel those aspects of himself – the ones he once used sexual connections to avoid.
He is training himself to cultivate a fascination with his neediness, loneliness, anxieties, and dis-empowerment, and feel them fully without giving his penis the job of anaesthetising the uncomfortable waves that are arising in his body in those moments.
When you are willing to fully feel the energies that erupt in your body without running to an addiction, or starting a fight, manipulating, or suppressing, you become more trustworthy and steadfast; someone who can be impacted and not collapse, be courageous and vulnerable and therefore, become a space where others feel totally safe to be with their own tender places too – which is the heart of intimacy.
This path creates the very intimacy and connection that we were wrongly charging our cocks to get for us.
Tools To Help You Honor Your Manhood
Here are a few extra loving practices to reconnect authentically with your penis:
#1 Sunbathing
An ancient healing practice is to sit naked and allow full sunlight to bathe your cock for ten minutes or more.
#2 Breath Work
For thousands of years in China, Taoists have made a practice of breathing their smiling energy and sexual energy into their organs (including the penis) and bones for health and longevity.
Inhale gratitude and friendliness all the way through and around your (or your partner’s) cock.
It is super nourishing and creates a more sensitive and familiar relationship with the penis.
#3 Acknowledge
One big step for me was to look at my penis and say sorry to it.
To acknowledge to myself how I’d been burdening it with responsibilities that didn’t belong to it, and then to tune in to it’s true gift or purpose, perhaps different for every man.
#4 Check-In
How often do we ‘check-in’ with the cock before volunteering it for action, either by ourselves or with another?
To listen to parts of our bodies is one of the first steps towards sustainable healing. The cock is no exception.
Does it carry any past residual energy from old experiences and partners? If you listen closely from a place of stillness you will know. Clearing any ghosts is another illuminating and liberating area to explore.
A New Path To Intimacy
True intimacy is not just with our lover or anyone external – it’s such a deep listening to the Self that the resulting presence and rootedness you emanate becomes an environment of permission and safety for everyone you are in relationship with.
If we don’t care for our fragile sexuality in this way, how can we ever be trusted with our boundaries? Won’t they always be at the mercy of the next ‘need’ that has to be fulfilled?
Safety in relationships, with ourselves and with others, comes from trust.
We will be able to manifest that kind of conscious environment within which we can thrive by dissolving the parts of our sexuality that we’ve enslaved.
So men (and women) will you join me in no longer enslaving our penises and vaginas to ‘get our needs met’ – to escape, fill gaps, prop us up, or ‘get’ us anything?
Can we love each other’s sexual parts with that respect and care too?
Let’s build a new culture of presence and no longer unconsciously prostitute our sexuality to fulfill roles and needs it wasn’t meant for. Let’s make love and sex a celebration of the moment.
Together.
By Jamie Catto
Edited by Chelsie Diadhiou
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Is this website like The Onion?
Reconnecting to your cock seems like some kind of epic effort on your part, why? I suppose for young men this might be a cover for their need to masturbate constantly but a older guy like myself who doesn’t feel that need sees enough quality time with Mr. Cock despite everything else. And, all I need him to do is what he does best, right? I don’t get this massive masculine emergence of drama today. It just feels far too feminne like, thothat doesn’t quite capture the essence. A new masculine expression of a man’s cock … I’ll use the rest of the day to come back with some story on what emerged as necessary and would then recommend something of that order here. Not the melodrama of the feminist efforts at shaming us for the misdeeds and abuses of our old school masculine character. I can only think that for any man to spend so much time and effort in a high dramatic way related to his penis, that such time spent would only result in substantial diminishment of his IQ. How could it be any other way but to start acting like pubescent boy acting like he has just began enjoying the hormonal tsunami in which his cock gets to take center stage for starters? What am I missing here?
This was so thought provoking, thank you James. We forget in our empowering women to empower men too, and in women healing their relationships with their yonis, men need to heal their relationship with their penises. I really resonate with the idea of ‘checking in’ with your genitals before acting on them, something I have to do with my yoni often. Thank you.
Obviously, this applies to vaginas too…. maybe the clearing of old ghosts even more so for vaginas as they seem more reservoir – like (and i recall a different blog of yours about that).
Most of the time, the genitals are taboo, except in the sexual arena and thus we place so much emphasis on our genitalia as being the main part of our sexualities. …and maybe more so for men, as the cock stands out so much, (pun intended) in this respect.
The ‘bottom’ line is a coming together in trust to share intimacy with all of ourselves,…. that’s why the sacral area is called so. … It’s sacred enjoyment 🙂
Sounds like this guy has way too much time on his hands!