Jonti has worked for over 12 years in the field of Tantra, expanding sexual experience and consciousness. Jonti offers workshops, talks, private and group lessons in the field of sexuality & sensuality. He assists singles, couples and groups in healing, creating a deeper connection, intimacy, pleasure and the magic between sex and spirituality.
At a talk I gave a while ago to a group of men a question was asked, a common question at talks. One of the men asked about anal/prostate stimulation and penetration. I answered the question, then said to the guys that it’s important to understand that this works both ways. There was a moment of nervous silence, as there often is at these times, palpable silence, uncomfortable, guys shifting in their chairs.
We’d entered The Forbidden Zone. Not literally, but the thought of the literal action fills a lot of men with trepidation.
One of the deepest reasons for this is what does it mean if I enjoy it? Nothing. It means you enjoy it. And it means you’ve expanded your pleasure horizons.
The Male G-Spot – Expanding Pleasure Horizons
The anus is filled with sensitive nerves that can enhance your pleasure. And inside your anus lies The P-Spot, also known as the male G-Spot, the prostate gland.
Anal massage can be deeply relaxing, healing and stimulating. Prostate massage stimulates the gland to release fluids and encourage blood flow to the entire pelvis. This can enhance erection by allowing greater blood flow into the penis. It can also make orgasms more intense, in fact they can be mind-blowing, especially if the prostate is stimulated at the same time.
So guys, you have to put your conditioning aside, you have to let your inhibitions go, and open yourself to a new world of pleasure.
The Keys To Great Anal Stimulation
The keys here are:
#1 Hygiene During Anal Stimulation
Some extra hygiene before anal play will not be remiss. And if you’re concerned about this, latex gloves will help you feel comfortable. The lube you use should be plain and stay on the skin, not go into the skin so you have to keep re-applying it. Stay away from aromatherapy oils, scented products, things that get hot or cold. The internal tissue is sensitive and can easily become irritated.
#2 The Best Position For Your First Time Of Anal- & Prostate Massage
Make sure you’re both comfortable and you have body access. A good position to start anal play is for your partner to be lying on his side, his top leg forward, this allows his body to relax. The more relaxed the rest of him is, the easier, and ultimately more pleasurable, the whole experience will be.
#3 Talk About Your Experience
A discussion about the experience is a good idea. This allows you both to express what you’re nervous about, what you’re excited about. Be honest! These are the conversations that create intimacy. You’ll feel much more relaxed once you’ve expressed yourself. It’s also important to acknowledge your partner for his willingness to be so vulnerable with you, it’s a powerful expression of trust.
#4 Role-Play To Ease Possible Tension
You can also have some fun with a nurses outfit. Just don’t show your partner any big implements or toys, especially if this is virgin territory. As serious as it is, it’s also fun.
How To Touch Your Partner Before, During & After Anal Stimulation
#1 Use Lubricant
Rub the lubricant onto your hands to warm it, spread it all over the cheeks of his butt, between the cheeks and his perineum, the area between his balls and anus. This is very sensitive, wonderful to touch.
#2 Massage & Stroke
You’re going to spend some time, minimum 10 minutes in real time, stroking and massaging the area all around his anus. Gently, slowly. Every now and then direct him to breathe deeply and let his body relax. Approach his anus slowly, stroke around the opening, across, up and down. When you feel him contract, breathe, relax. Spend at least 3-5 minutes doing this.
#3 Pulse, Release, Pule, Release
Then pulse a finger on the opening, as if you’re pushing a doorbell, pulse, release, pulse release. As you do this he’ll slowly start to draw you in. Go slowly. As you get drawn inside, when you feel him contract, stay where you are, don’t move, and direct him to breathe and to relax. You’ll move past his sphincter. When you feel this, hold still for a minute or so, allow him to get used to the feeling. When you start to move, do it slowly. Stroke in and out, circle.
We all, men and women, hold an enormous amount of emotional wounds and blockages in the anus. This is where we literally and metaphorically are full of… Being touched in this way can bring about a deep release, can come with tears and even physical pain.
#4 Find the Prostate & touch it Gently
The prostate is situated on the wall of the anus closest to his belly, if he were lying on his back, the 12’o’clock wall. You’re feeling for a definite structure the size of a walnut, once you’ve found it you’ll never mistake it for anything else.
TOUCH GENTLY! It might feel strange for him at first. You’re going to have to communicate to find out what he enjoys. It might be an in and out movement, it might be pulsations, circles…
#5 Feel his Needs After the Stimulation
The first time you try this, don’t do it for too long. Withdraw slowly. He might want to be held, he might want to have sex, he might want some time to integrate it.
When you’re both comfier with this then start including sexual stimulation. Use your hands, your mouth, even explore some toys. There are some specially designed toys for prostate stimulation.
Always start slowly, any movement that’s too quick or painful will cause him to contract and withdraw from the play.
Be brave guys, be willing to expand yourselves. The intimacy it will create, the pleasure you’ll receive will be just so wonderful!
By Jonti Searll
Hey boo, I’m sure that after reading this article you’ll really enjoy this video: