6 Things An Evolved Man Wants From A Woman
About Me
A former USAF Captain, Bryan Reeves has triumphed through multiple dark nights of the soul after hurling himself into the transformational fires of intimate relationship over and over again. His program, "Love, Sex, Relationship Magic,” has helped thousands of frustrated men and women across the globe finally make sense of love's utter senselessness.“An evolved man wants a woman who won’t change to be with him, who mostly doesn’t give two sheets what other people think about her, including even him.”
I hear women these days talk about wanting an evolved, conscious man.
I’ve decided that mostly means they want to be with a man who can see a woman’s entire humanity, the profound gifts she has to offer as a feminine woman and a human being, before focusing on her ass.
I won’t claim to actually be an evolved man, anyway, which might disqualify me if I did. I still eat cheeseburgers, so …
Nonetheless, a brilliant mature woman I consider to be evolved recently asked me what an evolved man wants from a woman. So with her inquiry as my sole credential, here goes..
#1 He Wants Her Full Authentic Self
An evolved man wants a woman who won’t change to be with him, who mostly doesn’t give two sheets what other people think about her, including even him.
She isn’t arrogant; she just knows who she is and doesn’t need to prove that she has the right to live however she desires.
Sure, they might have to make difficult choices in the details of their life together (aka “compromise”), but she doesn’t shrink or sell herself out to make him happy. It won’t.
He won’t criticize her for being her authentic self, either.
An evolved man longs to see his woman radiant and genuinely happy. If she isn’t thrilled about her everyday life, he won’t be, either. Not because she’s responsible for his feelings (she’s not), but because the second best gift she could ever give him is her own authentic happiness, which brings me to #2 …
#2 He Wants Her Authentic Happiness
This is not some sinister desire to capture a woman’s joyful heart in an iron box and isolate her in a household castle.
An evolved man just wants his woman so in love with her life that her radiant joy is present in the room more often than not.
Yes there will be tough times. He won’t expect her to always be happy – he doesn’t want some spooky Stepford wife with a fake smile.
He simply wants her aware enough to know that she’s responsible for her own happiness.
He’ll be doing his best to be a good man for her, but he doesn’t want to be burdened with “making her happy.”
He’s busy enough trying to manage his own experience. Understanding this allows both partners to safely bring their real truths to the relationship every day, which is essential to sustaining real intimacy … which is what an evolved man truly wants.
#3 He Wants Her To Love Him With Wild Abandon
Many years ago I witnessed a new bride gaze with such absolute adoration upon her new husband’s face that I felt the Earth jealous even though it had the Sun. An evolved man wants his woman to radiate her love all over him like that. He will do his best to earn that from her, but then again … what has the Earth ever done to earn the Sun?
An evolved man wants his woman to love him profoundly despite his imperfections, to consistently see through his human flaws to the very best of him.
There’s an important caveat, however, as so many women are great at loving with wild abandon, but in a way that’s often self-defeating.
An evolved man doesn’t want a woman to abandon herself to love him or stay if he consistently acts horribly, failing to honor their agreements (an evolved man can still fall victim to messing up big time; he’s human, after all).
#4 He Wants Her To Communicate Openly And Even Call Out His Bullshit
An evolved man wants a woman who will speak her truth to him, a woman who knows men aren’t equipped to read minds or even not-so-subtle clues.
He also wants her to hold him accountable to his highest potential as a man, and always with love and respect.
He does NOT want her looking for every flaw in an attempt to make him perfect. That’s just annoying.
But he also doesn’t want her to hold back when she sees him acting out of integrity or playing small in his life. An intimate relationship is a powerful vehicle for a person’s evolution, and he knows he’ll always be growing and evolving.
He wants a woman who will support him in that evolution, and who’s also learned the difference between healthy, honest communication and needling criticism.
#5 He Wants Her To Surrender
If I haven’t already, here’s where I might lose “evolved man” credibility with you. I might even make you hate me, for this one’s a real stretch in our current understanding of gender equality. I was surrounded by powerful women growing up – 3 sisters and 2 mothers – so I’m completely for woman-power. This is not about regressing to some 1950s vision of women surrendering their fate to men. No way. It’s far beyond that insanity. Hear me out.
An evolved man doesn’t even try to possess a woman. He doesn’t want her to abandon her dreams or live only for him. He wants her to live fully in her truth.
However, he does want her to relax and trust him primarily to lead their lives together. He will always want and respect her input on matters that affect their lives, and if he’s truly an evolved man he’ll always work to get her wholehearted buy-in on important decisions. But this may surprise you:
An evolved man doesn’t actually want 50/50 decision-making in his intimate relationship. When two people dance together, only one can lead.
Surrender is about trust. An evolved man wants his woman’s trust to lead the relationship, whatever that means.
Of course he needs to be worthy of her trust, but we are talking about an evolved man here. He’s endlessly demonstrating trustworthiness with his woman. Which in large part means he’s demonstrating clear commitment to serving a life purpose beyond his own little tyrant ego’s whims.
#6 He Wants Her To Surrender Sexually, Too
I don’t mean to infuriate traditional feminists, but an evolved man still does want sex. Passionate. Consistent. Anytime. Sex. He wants no games; no withholding; no negotiating. Sex.
He’ll be deeply sensitive to her needs, but not at the expense of castrating himself internally to protect her from his ravenous sexuality. This is often what makes men turn to porn, strip clubs, massage parlors, affairs.
Feeling his woman consistently shut off sexually from him is aggravating beyond description.
If his woman is consistently shut off to him sexually, there’s a disconnect somewhere between them. It might be the way he’s showing up in their relationship; it might be chemical; it might be something else. But he’ll want to explore it. And he’ll want his woman to want to explore it openly with him.
That’s what evolved couples do: communicate deeply, vulnerably, with appreciation for differences, with the ultimate goal of creating pure fucking magic together, every single day.
One last thing on #6:
.. an evolved man won’t make his ejaculation (or hers for that matter) the point of sex. But that’s a whole other article.
In the end, an evolved man doesn’t actually want anything in particular from a woman other than her authentic self.
By Bryan Reeves
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I thoroughly enjoyed this article. I think an evolving woman wants to be her authentic self and works on that. An evolving woman does not require the love of another to be happy, she knows she is responsible for her own happiness. An evolving woman makes love with abandon, seeing her partner’s response makes it a mutual under-taking. An evolving woman speaks openly and draws attention to misunderstandings that show up, but not for the sake of argument. Understanding is the goal. An evolving woman in love will ALLOW herself to be loved. This is “surrender” as you would “surrender to the irresistible urge to sleep”, not “surrender” in the context of war. As in allowing herself to surrender in the emotions of love and affection, “surrender” in lovemaking is letting go, letting the waves take you to places you never dreamed of.
So, I think the war between the sexes is a harmful lie we have been fed. All of us contain the feminine and the masculine in our make-up. We are souls occupying human form. Get over whether you are a man or a woman, just be a loving and compassionate human. It is its own reward.
Male and female characteristics compliment each other. Black/White. Hot/Cold. It is a good thing to have a loving and compassionate partner. However, as an evolving woman, I do not believe these relationships are necessarily “forever/till death do us part”, nor are they strictly heterosexual. It is best not to judge others in their affairs of the heart, unless you want to be judged on your choices as well.
I could not agree more. But I would also add that I would desire for her to be conscious in regards to her own health living as close to nature as she can, and do not have habits like smoking, misusing her body in any way… A woman like this is very hardt to come by, thats for certain.
This is the first article I’ve read in a long time where I sense the levels of honesty, bravery and vulnerability that went into sharing every single word. This is very rare in the world. And the truth is hard to take for most of us, but I can only speak for myself. The more I learn of myself and the more I allow myself to be truly brave and vulnerable in my relationships, the more I agree with every single item mentioned. This is not an easy thing to do as a strong, independent woman; but I do feel even stronger, more alive, more present when my man lives in the ways you’ve written. And as for surrender, there is power in choosing to surrender to a man you truly trust, it becomes a bond that transcends two people… that power comes back to a woman in abundance. Thank you for sharing.
The Trust dance is a function of the style; not all dances have one lead. Not all dances have the same lead. 50/50 is obtainable.
A Dominator/Dominated (cf. Capitalism: winner/loser; on top/on bottom; ride/or die; me/before you always; mother/baby) value approach is not the only human/western path shown across time and geographies. We have cultural continuums of ecstatics as well as rigids.
Choices (moves) are made.
When Trust becomes a commodity to feed ego social validation it’s no longer Authentic.
I am going to have his/their Trust for particular contexts; I am going to be better equipped, resilient and or competent in some contexts, the flip side being me stepping up to bat for other scenarios.
Am happy to be a Passenger when the Trust is mutual and it’s for us to Shine and ripple bridging vibes of the world.
Image credits should be given to painter William-Adolphe Bouguereau
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William-Adolphe_Bouguereau
No..sorry…the whole premise of this article is off. An evolved man does not value one person any higher than another..is not seeking a mate with which to procreate…nor to divide his affection or distract him from his purpose…he is whole and complete already…show up…be yourself….know your shadow …embrace it…bring it to balance in the light….kill your television…get into nature…be open…
I am sorry, but this “evolved man” sounds kinda a bit full of himself….maybe still got some evolving to do…One thing dead on… if a woman is withholding sex mostly is not because she wants to,..maybe she has been putting up too much with her evolved man’s imperfection without ways to resolve it… I said one biggest issue between man and woman is that Man has too big of ego to really work out the relationship… And women have too much emotions and feelings and needs to nurture and cater if she fell in love. She could be as authentic and strong as her happy self without her evolved man being an immature child at the same time think he deserves to be the king of her world.
Good grief. Sex is driven by sexual desire, which is driven by biology…chemistry, etc. Some men want it all of the time, some don’t…some never want it. The same is true with women. Sexual desire and readiness cannot be summed up by saying men want it all of the time and women should submit. Sigh.