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Vaginal dryness is extremely uncomfortable, and doesn’t only affect your love life, but your self-image and life choices as well. The sensation of having sandpaper where moist silk should be, is painful in many ways, and sex can become unbearable for both partners.
Our bodies carry our joys, pains and little secrets. Fear, shame, guilt are all subtly locked into the cells and can manifest in different ways: through stiffness, ailments, the way we hold ourselves. Remember how the theory of communication channels says that body language takes up 55% of all the messages we exchange? Our bodies are extremely expressive. Just as others can read us by looking at our posture, gesticulations, mannerisms, we too should be able to read the hints our bodies send us. Your body tells you when something is out of balance. This is also the case with vaginal dryness. It’s a sign you need to take yourself on a journey of not just external, but also internal, exploration. Ready?
#1 Determine The Real Cause Of Your Vaginal Dryness
It’s much easier to treat vaginal dryness if you understand its origins in your individual case. And trust me: There is always more to it then just your vagina being dry. It is usually your emotions, heart & soul being part of the bodily sensations.
The following questions will help you determine the real cause of your vaginal dryness:
Are You Low in Estrogen?
The phenomenon is more common at certain life-stages, such as during menopause and post-menopause, when the body experiences hormonal imbalances and estrogen levels decrease. Due to hormonal factors, vaginal dryness is more common between the ages of 40 and 60.
As estrogen is a fat-soluble hormone, sufferers also include women on persistent low-fat diets. For your vagina to be lubricated, you need to eat the right (healthy) fats and stay hydrated.
Are You Stressed?
Vaginal dryness is also more common in women who experience a lot of stress, as this is known to imbalance you in different ways, and interfere with bodily functions and arousal levels.
Do You Use Medication?
There are some specific bio-mechanical causes, which include the use of certain medications (those containing antihistamines, cold medications, antidepressants, cancer treatments), and surgical procedures that interfere with hormonal balance (removal of the ovaries, hysterectomy) and can lead to vaginal dryness.
Do You Use Soaps?
Most soaps and detergents you can buy are not organic and are a mix of chemical man-made ingredients. These kind of soaps and detergents can cause vaginal dryness by causing allergic reactions and imbalances in the intimate flora. Also I highly advice not to douche. It kills all the healthy bacteria needed to create balance in the intimate flora. Buy natural, organic soaps or wash with pure water.
Did You Experience Trauma, Abuse, Sadness, Depression?
However, if you opt for an internal journey, you can be taken on a much steeper path, that will reveal any underlying trauma and past experience contributing to vaginal dryness. Negative experience, abuse, and your psychological patterns and attitudes towards sexuality and the body can all play a role in becoming dry.
Are You Experiencing Stress In Your Relationship?
You should also ask yourself about the bond you have with your partner. Do you feel aroused? Are there pending issues between you and your partner that are manifesting through sex and that you haven’t openly addressed?
Usually, you will feel which of the above reasons best describes your cause. Is it the life-stage, lifestyle and diet, or some deeper psychological issues (and little secrets)? The reason will resonate with you, and tell you about your body’s coded language.
#2 Look For a Cure That Perfectly Suits You
Every women is different. And not everyone needs the same treatment. Based on the cause, you can now search for the relief that best suits you.
If the main reason is the lack of estrogen, many women reach for mainstream estrogen therapy (complete with side effects). You can however, explore other more natural options (and I am highly suggesting you do this as this will help in holistic healing and long-term health):
Sex hormones need fat. Your first step should be to introduce a diet rich in fatty acids, particularly omega 3. Raw pumpkin, fish, sesame and sunflower seeds are all good sources. Eat food that contains isoflavones, which help to regulate estrogen levels. They can be found in flax seeds, soy, legumes, nuts, cherries and apples. You also need to make sure you get enough vitamins A and B, and might need to supplement these. As lubrication is connected with hydration too, make sure you drink enough water. Your vagina will be as grateful for the extra water as your skin is.
Adrenal glands and ovaries get stimulated by regular exercise. A cardio-vascular work-out will help with your hormonal balance, increase the flow of blood to the vagina and de-stress you. That’s 3 in 1!
Secret Ceres – The Secret Weapon
Secret Ceres has been the secret weapon for many women all over the world who are suffering from a low libido. I have been working with women all over the world to help heal vaginal infections, low libido and other ailments lowering the sexual pleasure and I can wholeheartedly recommend it along with all the other holistic treatments. Secret Ceres is made of Punica Granatum (pomegranate tree), Drip Stones (Crystals) and Kaolin (porcelain clay). No added chemicals and works wonders to bring back libido, lust & life. For more information click HERE.
Vaginal lubricants and pessaries
While you’re waiting for the more natural approaches to take effect, you might need to resort to lubricants and vaginal suppositories (pessaries). Make sure to buy a good quality, all-natural lubricant that will not be an additional irritant. Saliva is a good lubricant and a part of erotic foreplay. Other good natural lubricants include aloe vera, jojoba and coconut oil (I always use raw virgin coconut oil). You can also try vitamin E pessaries.
Gain Clarity Through Meditation & Inner Work
If the reasons behind vaginal dryness are mainly psychological, open up about these. Look for a way to work through them, and try to resolve them constructively. Remember every physical DIS-EASE within our body is there to guide us and help us become more in tune with ourselves.
In order to get to the real cause of the vaginal dryness I recommend to dive into silent contemplation (e.g. meditation). It also helps to authentically share your feelings with close friends. They might not always directly be able to give advice, but only speaking about it will help you understand more in depth what is going on. You can also consider working with a holistic sexual health coach. Contact me directly for some personal recommendations.
#3 Enjoy Your Body & Listen To It!
It’s your body, so listen to it. Learn its lingo and be positive about the changes you can make in your life. Don’t force yourself to have sex if you don’t feel wet, as this can cause injury to the vagina or urethra, trigger infections, and deepen your sorrows and negative associations. Instead, look for a long-term solution and embrace your body.
Most importantly see this as a positive challenge. Do not run away from it, close up or hide it. It can be solved but you have to be open to whatever is coming to you for healing.