Steadfast has been part of a poly family for over 14 years. Co-founder of Poly Living with her husband Antony, they work to inform and help those in polyamory and raise poly awareness. She and her spice, Antony and Jadez live in Texas where they raise their children. Her family has been interviewed by Lester Holt on Weekend Today and has done a few radio and newspaper interviews.
“An apple a day helps keep the doctor away”, but so can ethical polyamory. Polyamory (or ethical non-monogamy) means that a person maintains more than one open romantic relationship at a time with everyone’s full knowledge and consent. Polyamory, an alternative to monogamy, can have health benefits that you might not realize. Here’s five reasons why polyamory can be healthy for you:
#1 Sex benefits our health – More sex = better health
In theory, more sex could be more beneficial. Since in polyamory we have more than one romantic relationship at a time, this also means that we can have more sex than the average person. Many of us already know that sex benefits our health. According to Kathleen Doheny of WebMD’s article “Sex & Relationships“, sex lessens stress, improves blood pressure, boosts immunity, burns calories, improves cardiac health, lifts self-esteem, deepens intimacy, helps relieve pain, and increases sleep. It can also help men to ward off prostate cancer. Let’s face it: sex is fun, and while we have fun, we can have good health too!
#2 Polyamory can offer stress relief
Polyamory offers stress relief because there are more people to help with your daily life. It has been proven that stress can have a detrimental effect on your health. The Haitian proverb, “Many hands lighten the load” rings true for polyamorists. Loving more than one person allows you to have more people around which in turn can have an added side benefit of help with your daily household activities. For instance, Antony and I take turns driving children to their various engagements, while Jadez stays home to cook dinner. Since we are three, we take turns cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. Grocery shopping together minimizes our time in the store from two hours to 45 minutes. Because poly people have more than just two people taking turns and dividing up the chores and errands, we have more time to relax and not worry about the little things.
#3 Increase in general life satisfaction
Your chances of life satisfaction increase due to more opportunities to pursue college, career and other worthwhile endeavors is another polyamory plus. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we all desire and need a healthy sense of self-esteem. We do this by boosting our confidence and levels of achievement. Since there are more people in a polyamorous relationship, we support and help one another to reach life goals. For example, when Jadez went to college, Antony and I worked. After she received her degree, her and I continued working, while Antony attended college. A few years later, I also attended college and finished my degree with Antony and Jadez’s full support. Now, we all work and support the family. Dr. Elisabeth Sheff in “Diversity and Polyamory” states, “The vast majority (of polyamorists) are middle or upper middle class people in their early 30s to mid 60s with high levels of education, who typically live in urban or suburban areas, and often work at professional jobs in information technology, education, or healthcare.” Evidently, poly people tend to be professional, well-educated people, which raises our level of personal satisfaction.
#4 More love has psychological benefits
Having more people who love us has psychological benefits. Maslow also states that people need to feel loved and like they belong somewhere. We have a need for friendship, family and sexual intimacy. Since ethical polyamory is about loving more than one personal intimately, we increase our chances of being loved more and belonging to a larger family. This fulfills a deep rooted psychological need for love and helps us to be happier.
#5 Polyamory helps to become emotionally stronger & stable
“Because multiple-partner relationships are inherently more complex and demanding than monogamous ones and because they challenge the norms of our culture, they offer other valuable learning opportunities. Lessons about loving yourself, about tolerance for diversity, about speaking from the heart and communicating clearly, and about learning to trust an internal sense of rightness and to think for yourself rather than blindly relying on outside opinion are only a sampling of the lessons. These qualities are earmarks of an emotionally and spiritually mature person–the kind of person who makes a good parent and who can contribute to his or her community.”
What are your Experiences with Polyamory? What are your Thoughts on the Benefits of Polyamory?