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An Open Letter To Men From Sexy Consciously Awake Women

delphine

About Me

I am a lover of words and all things true. I am an awake women who will not be held down. I am here to do great things for what other reason is there to live and breathe.

“You will never get an amazing woman if you’re lame. Period.”

Before you read this, I invite you to read the first post in this series. Don’t skip it. If you don’t read it, I trust you’ll be highly triggered and write me off, call me a bitch, and go along your way. That’s not what I want. That’s not what we want.

What Does It Mean To Be “Consciously Awake”?

Everyone has issues. Men and women both. Humans are imperfect. As a result, we have to deal with and own our shit. We don’t get to throw it onto other people. That’s not what Consciously Awake means.

Being Consciously Awake means practicing self-awareness, keeping high standards for yourself and for your life, and playing in the fires of your soul.

When we do that, we want our partners to be on the same path. Otherwise, we women end up playing mommy, babysitting, and miss out on the deep emotional connection we crave from our men.

So, men, if you’ve ever had a woman you care for tell you any one of the following, this post is definitely for you:

  1. “Man up!”
  2. “Be more aware, accountable, and responsible.”
  3. “Go to counseling.”
  4. “Own your shit.”
  5. “Stop projecting.”
  6. “You’re too controlling and critical.”
  7. “You’re not listening. Hear me.”
  8. “Quit acting like a baby.”

Then frankly… YOU NEED TO CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU RIIIGEDY WRECK YOURSELF.

1

What We Crave From You

We crave men we can rely on. We want men who complement us. We will not compete with you. We want men to know our core desires, honor our brilliance, beauty, personalities, and capabilities. We don’t want men focused on tearing us down. We want men who lift us up.

We want men who love to play. We want men who work hard all day so they can relax when they’re with us.

We revel in the present and look for men who can take us to the future. We won’t waste our time. We will not give away our precious energy.

We are willing to go to great lengths to develop ourselves emotionally. We have worked for what we have in life. We will not apologize, minimize our feelings or sell ourselves short for self-entitled brats who want to be the prize. We want you to stand for the greatest version of us.

We love the dance. We won’t chase. Girls chase. They put hot guys on a pedestals. If you want to chase us, you’re wasting your time.

We will not fluff you up emotionally. If a woman is bold enough to tell you she wants you or likes you, you need take the reigns. We don’t want to be a slave driver. We want you to be a leader.

We won’t cater to your insecurities if you lack the ability to feel our love. We will not shovel reassurance at you. If you want us, come get us. We will not wait around. We look for authenticity and integrity. We want the real deal.

You can call us what you want. But our intensity… our bitchiness… it has an origin. We are intuitive. We know when we’re getting less than your best.

We’re tired of boys. We need men.

2

We’re exhausted. We get lonely. We want emotional equals. We want your love and affection. We crave your admiration and adoration. We want you. We need you.

In fairness, not all you have your heads in the sand. If you’ve read this far, it’s likely you take a proactive stance about your inner work and reflect. You look at the common theme and failures in your relationships. You actively seek evolution without mommy dearest having to spank you into shape.

But those who’ve quit reading are more than likely stubborn, caught up in image, and have Peter Pan Syndrome. They refuse to grow up. They think their shit don’t stink. They blame women for their shortcomings. They take no ownership of their twisted dynamics.

I’ll share this with you now. Become the man you’ve always wanted to be. You don’t have a shot with us otherwise.

3

You Will Never Get An Amazing Woman If You’re Lame. Period.

Getting what you want and need doesn’t have to be so difficult or challenging. We want to love and we want to be loved.

We don’t want you to be someone you’re not. We want you to be the greatest version of yourself. We’re all flawed and in need of growth. We’re here to stand for you. We want you to stand for us.

We want you to take some fucking responsibility for your self and for your life. We aren’t asking any more of you than we’re demanding of ourselves.

How much of your being are you willing to devote to what your heart desires? Fear of pain and loss is not an excuse. You are here to LIVE and LOVE and we won’t settle for less. And the real truth is… you don’t want us to.

Right now, I’m pioneering a path to empower a new breed of women. These women stand in their power and are enough for themselves. They will no longer be hurting themselves unintentionally. The heart of our issues as women is doubting our self-worth. If we, as women, stop looking outside of ourselves and start looking at how we create our reality, we have to ask ourselves, “What am I willing to put up with?”

No man on this planet is worth half the heart ache we’ve felt. The right men, the ones still reading, now know what it means to take care us. These men won’t fuck around with our hearts. It’s time we surround ourselves with these kinds of men. We can trust these men with our hearts.

3 Quick Questions to Ask Yourself When Choosing A Man

  1. Do I feel good about myself around this person?
  2. Does this man stand for and honor my highest good and brilliance?
  3. Does this person treat me with respect and compassion?

If you answer NO to any of these questions: GET THE FUCK OUT!

There are way too many men in this world to settle for bullshit. And if he’s hot, honey, there will be another. There are always others.

Let’s be allies. Let’s help each other out. Life is too challenging for us to compete with one another.

XO, Kelly Marceau

PS. I want to thank 3 men in my life who’ve helped me forge my own path to self-awareness.

Adam: You started it all. DJ by night. Psychologist by day. You held up a mirror and believed in my progress. I can never thank you enough for your role in my conscious evolution.

Trevor: no man has ever allowed me to gaze more deeply into his soul than you have. We met at 23. And you still know me better today than any other man on this planet.

Conan: you are a big deal to me. You’ve humbled me greatly in my life. You taught me how to love unconditionally and stay in my heart even when I was scared. I can never thank you enough for helping me as a woman.

Edited By Samuel Hershberger / Artist Featured Image: Delphin Enjolras

——-

Editor’s Note: If you want to read more epic articles like this follow MyTinySecrets on FACEBOOK

 

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  • James Bly

    Funny thing about this article is that it reads as if it’s written by someone who is taking no ‘responsibility for their shit’ at all. It comes across as a rant written from a position of blame and disappointment by someone who is projecting those feelings outwards. It is written with no respect for other people and the fact that they may have very different ideas, hopes, fears and agendas to those of a self-styled “strong and consciously awake woman”. Many people do not see their role or focus in life as living up to other people’s standards and hopes. In my experience, a lot of women who have a very strong self-image of being ‘strong and consciously awake’ are often not quite so self-aware as they believe; sometimes this focus on ‘strength’ is actually a wall that prevents a person from accepting or hearing where the other is coming from, and which can be a big barrier to them achieving the sort of relationship they want.

    Far more than ‘strength’, good relationships involve a real acceptance that people are far from perfect, and a great deal of warmth, patience and understanding about that from both parties. They also involve asking for what you want, not demanding it, and realising that no one has a right to have the other person meet their needs. When treated with empathy, and as an individual rather than as a potential source of gratification, most people, men included, will want to, and try to, do their best for the other. Relationship problems are almost always two-sided in one way or another, and I’m surprised that such a consciously awake person seems so unaware of this.

    When I read something like “You actively seek evolution without mommy dearest having to spank you into shape” I wonder how a woman who shows such a total lack of respect for people in how she communicates would expect men to react. Men also need warmth and empathy and acceptance for where they are right now. Like women they appreciate being seen for who they are, not for how amazing they could make the woman’s life if only they were different. Like women, men tend to respond well to being listened to, and having the other person own their feelings and desires instead of projecting them onto the man in their life. If a women is consistently choosing men who are not on her wavelength, and then expecting them to change to be what she wants (and ranting at them about their ‘inadequacies’ to try to make them do so) then the answer to the problem lies in the mirror, and nowhere else.

  • Loved the article, although the energy in the writing feels to be very masculine…

  • gaurav

    the opinion expressed by the writer belongs to women mostly in western countries and women outside america would most likely not agree with the writer when she says that women need love and sex

  • gaurav

    my own experience has been that women do not need men for anything. women do not feel lonely or weak ever, they are strong, at least that is what the article suggests. so if women are strong and do not need any friends or love or any relationship then what is the point of this article

  • gaurav

    the writer is saying that if men are weak, a woman should simply reject them, but if a woman is weak, a real man would support her no matter what. did I understand that correctly?

  • Francisco Galarce Morales

    So basically you are saying that alle men must be consiously awake while only maybe 1% of the women are… To paraphrase the article… You will never get an amazing man if you’re lame… Period.

    Edit: damn autocorrect 🙂

  • Keith Fail

    What do you mean by self awareness? Beautiful statement. How would I know it if I saw it?

  • These two articles are touching on some good points, but comes over a bit accusatory. As a men I need good women as well, and they are hard to find, so I wanted to respond. Lots of what been touched on has been addressed more rationally in existing books that I would recommend both men and women to read, I’m sure there are other good books as well that I have not discovered yet, but these books and authors are worth looking into:

    The-Six-Pillars-Self-Esteem (it talked about Living Consciously)
    Real-Time Relationships
    Alice Miller
    Adverse Childhood Experiences and The Bomb in the Brain (Do a search on TED)

    The Specifics of Living Consciously (page 72)
    Living consciously entails:
    – A mind that is active rather than passive.
    – An intelligence that takes joy in its own function.
    – Being “in the moment,” without losing the wider context.
    – Reaching out towards relevant facts rather than withdrawing from them.
    – Being concerned to distinguish among facts, interpretations, and emotions.
    – Noticing and confronting my impulses to avoid or deny painful or threatening realities.
    – Being concerned to know “where I am” relative to my various (personal and professional) goals and projects, and whether I am succeeding or failing.
    – Being concerned to know if my actions are in alignment with my purposes.
    – Searching for feedback from the environment so as to adjust or correct my course when necessary.
    – Persevering in the attempt to understand in spite of difficulties.
    – Being receptive to new knowledge and willing to re-examine old assumptions.
    – Being willing to see and correct mistakes.
    – Seeking always to expand awareness – a commitment to learning – therefore, a commitment to growth as a way of life.
    – A concern to understand the world around me.
    – A concern to know not only external reality but also internal reality, the reality of my needs, feelings, aspirations, and motives, so that I am not a stranger or a mystery to myself.
    – A concern to be aware of values that move and guide me, as well as their roots, so that I am not ruled by values I have irrationally adopted or uncritically accepted from others.

    • A couple of other books I would add to your list are:
      Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
      How to Be an Adult In Relationships by David Richo
      Love and Awakening by John Welwood.

  • Gabriel Prince

    I see the passion in her words. It motivates me to continue working on my issues. However, I’m not working on becoming the greatest version of myself so a woman can have her Disney princess fantasy wedding and her “happily ever after”. NO Man should. This is why men in greater numbers are rejecting the Man Up calls: the message is to do it so women can get married and be happy. It’s all about the motives. I left women behind 13 years ago (MGTOW). The Reason? It’s in the first post of the series. Women were too bitter and angry and had no respect for men. They showed it openly for everyone to see, and continue to do so today. Incentives matter, and men will go where they’re treated best. That’s not here in the US. Feminism influenced women made sure of that. US Marriage rates are at record lows because, to be blunt, many men see a wife as a massive liability, not an asset. The biggest deterrent for men to marry is married women. They don’t inspire men to desire marriage.

    Most of what was said in this post is also true if you flip the genders.

    I will say this: The best way to find the one you love is to do what you love. Everyone should start with that. You’ll be in a position to make other things happen.

    • Parkbot

      Great comment… precisely what I was thinking as I read the essay; I immediately found the tone of the essay condescending. Sowing intersex disharmony seems like the anachronistic product of a women’s movement that’s lost its way. I hope it appeals to fewer and fewer people.

  • Chippy the wrestling addict…

    If had a dollar for every time counseled women whom said one thing(Usually about what’s in this article) regarding men, then jumped into a relationship with exact opposite, I could buy everyone on this fine forum a new car, not a expensive BMW 7 Series but maybe a Honda Civic…

  • Krissy Jones

    Open letter to men, from a grown woman: I like grown men who like grown women.
    Simple huh 🙂

  • He Who Drains the Skies

    I consider myself in the process of being consciously awake. I am open to ideas, but lately (after opening up to another male friend who is struggling with moving forward in his own stuff) ive come to understand just how much I have been hurting myself. Lying to myself. Deceiving myself. Justifying my inaction. Trying to live my life through the words and actions of others. Not holding myself in my own power. Its sad when you realize that teaching your self to be self-disciplined feels so hard. I am definitely not done yet, I still have much much more to learn. Particularly, something that has bothered me is my bitterness and spite. Delving deeper into the side of myself, I realize just how petty my feels are. Seeing that side of yourself, and accepting it, and trying to move forward, my heart aches just typing this!

    My last relationship ended with me not being able to cope with being on a “break”. It was a difficult moment for me, especially because I really really still wanted to be with her. But, looking at the facts, and seeing just how much of a different person she was in relation to me, finally hearing what was really being said, and realizing though it was I who thought they were tip toe-ing through rock salt, glass, and egg shells; She felt the same exact way. It makes me feel a little sick to my stomach that I could be so blind. I really was disgusted with myself for not realizing it, and seeing how one sided my emotions had been in our last moments. Even though I knew on some level how she really felt, the fact that she was sparing my feelings too..Maybe I really was being too aloof, and I definitely was not seizing the opportunities of my life. At any rate, I realized, that it wasnt healthy for me to be so hungry for an emotional connection that I used that as justification to ignore trying to be an individual, and a man. I dont want to be the kind of man that breeds doubts in his lover. I dont want to be the kind of man that can only hear words through the filter of their own thoughts.

    This article, and the one before it, ill certainly take as a very important wake up call. I cant honestly expect to find a deep fullfilling, mind blowing connection with someone, if I cannot first connect fully with myself. I still need to learn to process and ground myself when I need to, and act. Act instead of thinking too much. This is very triggery, definitely feeling some anxiety pangs, but sometimes you gotta be uncomfortable to be comfortable. If I can gain enough insight into myself, my goal (which ironically i just realized I forgot about until just now) would be to give back to my brothers and try my best to help undo the false programming a lot of us have clung to. So while my heart and soul still longs to find the woman I can cherish and honor with the entirety of my being, I wont be able to see or hear her until I process my own bullshit lol

    Your article is a great affirmation of the path I have undertaken, and now instead of feeling bummed about not having someone in my life right now, I think I might actually be able to…no I know I will be able to be the man that I need to be for myself! I hope coincidence brings a Woman as insightful and stormy as you in my life 🙂

    • Junebug

      Very well put. I could feel the emotion you wanted to convey and it reminded me of a situation that I myself went through almost a year ago. It spoke to me on a personal level. Everyone turns out to be a mirror of our journey sooner or later and I thank you for being a mirror that allowed me to see something beyond myself.

  • aulderyan

    Great article, but can you fix the grammar mistake in this line:

    “You Will Never Get An Amazing Women If You’re Lame. Period.”

    It should be “woman” or remove the “an” and then women is appropriate. (I know… I have issues…)

    • Nohzat Noorzai

      Fuck you Lame get the meaning not the grammar 😛

  • Jon

    I’m a consciously awake man. Dear Author, so nice to read you… I can imagine the way you would feel in a conversation, the sort of smile you put out, the look in your eyes. I’d know right away we could get along well…. Souls, recognized by vibe.
    What a fine piece of work this is, the flow and prose and honesty, I’ve never read anything like it.
    Ever.
    Words, wonderful and flowing but underneath them burning, frustrated, accepting, conflicted, the beauty of turmoil, the peacefulness of rising above it to be yourself, then diving back in. Pouring out your heart like this its something very special. Your idea, your bravery, your lust for a more perfect you, and he, whoever he might be. I loved reading it, I really do.
    I love the idea of women like you.
    Far and few between do I meet them because I’ve turned off. You’d walk right by me. I’ve stopped broadcasting. My station is static. My tie straight and narrow, my hair trimmed and neat.
    10 years I’ve been with my woman, and she’s determined to sleep.
    I wonder what karma I’m mining, staying with her? I think about it a lot lately… we just had a baby. I wonder what kind of fool I was when I knew back then we were wrong, and went ahead anyway because I’m consciously awake, and we sort know, it’s okay to make mistakes.
    I see souls all the time, in the blink of an eye I know; in a room full of females, men as well, when I’m alone. Awake and alone. I lie down beside her awake and alone. I hold my dear daughter, her only hoping father and I wonder if under those deep grey eyes some day she’ll surprise me. She’ll say “Daddy, I see what you mean…. there are stars and there are people, and there’s something in between….”
    I guess this mess is mine. Lately, I think about it all the time. But until I read your words, I’d forgotten what I was trying to do…. raise my daughter to be a woman like you.

    • asana

      wow! Incredible and thought provoking all at once. I know the feeling. I feel like i have been living in this solitary cave and for a very long time. I tell you, in my situation, I have totally engulfed myself into a new universe, created characters that entertain, uplift and inspire me. The saddest thing is that while I am alone (married for 12 years) i am completely in my own world while feeling a sense of artificial peace you may say. The internet is amazing, I have now come to the realization that I am worthy, worthy of having long conversations about life and this incredible experience we are apart of, being able to share my thoughts with the external. Sheeples will be just that, i accept it for what it is, now it is time for me to shine…

    • Greg

      Put in the time to let her open to you? “I love the ** idea ** of women like you” and when you say you’ve never read anything like this before makes me wonder how “awake” you are. The only times ive met women who werent like this is when my heart was closed to their power. Every woman is like this. Not trying to attack you, you seem like a good guy, just figured if I were you I’d want to hear the same. Being awake doesnt involve feeling superior to people. Sounds like your heart might be closing? Pry that shit open bro. Pry until your ribs crack open and your heart explodes and you weep like the real man that you are. Float that woman on a raft of love in the ocean of your open heart. Fuckin bathe that beauty in the warm and comforting bubble bath of your unbridled love. How else can you teach your daughter but by example?

    • sunsetbreak2 .

      Jon, if you were even remotely awake, you would know that ‘like attracts like’. Sleepy women attract sleepy men. Yes, your woman is asleep…..now apply a little logic and wake up to one of the most basic and fundamental forces/laws of nature…..like attracts like.

      • DW

        “Jon, if you were even remotely awake, you would know that ‘like attracts like’.”

        “now apply a little logic and wake up to one of the most basic and fundamental forces/laws of nature…..like attracts like.”

        One of the most basic and fundamental forces/laws of nature is that a negatively charged and positively charged magnet will attract. Meanwhile two magnets with the same charge will repel each other. Another example of basic and fundamental force/law of nature is ions. A positively charged ion will attach to negatively charged ion but repel other positively charged ones.

        Whoever told you like attracts like was very wrong and has skewered how you perceive attraction in nature.

    • sunsetbreak2 .

      Ahh, waiting for approval.

  • Ron

    I think it speaks miles for you to thank three of your BFs at the conclusion. Thank you for speaking straight up on behalf of what women need and deserve. Easy to fix, we are mostly problem solvers after all.

  • Brooke Ostby

    Love both parts to this, what great words, thank you

  • Angela Coulet

    I’d rather be alone, than with an unconsious boy. But I know I’ll be alone most of the time! Men ain’t ready

  • jackstar72

    Good article. The pictures let it down so it’s hard to take seriously when you have pictures of women looking like porn stars. It really confuses the issues.

  • JackPoint

    With respect, what I see here are some valid ideas, urges, and instincts obscured by generalization and bias, and emotional attachment to the self-same. The underlying message is valid, but the delivery is plagued by distraction from the real argument. Things are far more complicated than just feminine and masculine, and though I know that this article is aimed at a certain audience, the generalizations hurt the underlying ideas when you take into account the fact that our species has more than just two gender designations, and that a great deal of our behavior is based on our socially constructed reality.

    The social issue I see displayed here isn’t caused by a biological imperative and our struggle against it. It is literally cognitive dissonance based on our definitions of certain social constructs not making sense in the same mental framework at the same time. But on a societal scale (or this would likely be the only article of this type.)

    What I have found is that a great swath of what we as a society generally consider to be “givens” in human behavior are, in point of fact, made up. We go with the flow of the fabrication because it is very convenient for us to do so. So convenient, in fact, that we forget that we made up the notion (whatever it happens to be about) in the first place. Then we end up here, where we try to define the cause of human behavior (heavily or entirely influenced by socially constructed norms) using other social constructs. It is ultimately very circular, and I think misses the point.

    I’ve written lengthy and rambling posts about this before, so I’ll try and sum up. The wonderful thing about our species is that we can choose how we think about things, within the confines of ACTUAL biological boundaries. Boundaries which are by no means well defined, despite what the narrative might be currently. The biological imperative is “that” we think, not necessarily “what” we think. That choice of “what” is the very definition of personal power, and the attachment to made-up social constructs is, I think, short changing us.

    • trums

      Not only do I agree with every word you wrote, but I was also astonished at how beautifully and concisely you wrote it. I hope you’re a writer, and if you’re not, you should be.

    • He Who Drains the Skies

      This is also a great thing for me to ruminate on in this moment. Your acuity on this topic definitely reigns in a broader more objective view on the societal aspects. I was gunna write more but, the more I re-read the more I understand what your true point is. Food for thought!

    • Thanks for putting this in a broader perspective. I agree!

  • Kevin117

    Just by the fact women love to write and read these kinds of articles tells me women don’t follow them at all. Not-at-all. They always end up with a guy who treats them in the way they feel, deep down, they deserve to be treated. If they have low self esteem (and almost everyone in our culture does for the first 50 years, women, men, everyone), they will only respect the people who see them as they see themselves, or worse than they see themselves. Anyone who sees you better than you see yourself quickly becomes a first class asshole in your eyes. In 1-2 weeks approximately.

    Groucho Marx explained low self esteem perfectly when he said, “I wouldn’t want to join any club that would have me as a member.”

    But boy-oh-boy, the club that doesn’t want you! We’ll dig tunnels under, climb walls over, bribe who we have to bribe, say whatever and do whomever, to get into THAT club.

    Really, the best thing to do is don’t get into any relationships with anyone until you like yourself. I know everyone will ignore my advice, but it really is the best course of action. Work on yourself. Get self-esteem not “other’s esteem”. Otherwise you’ll just create more damage.

  • Steve Smith

    I read both this article, and the first in the series, a few times, and I’m noticing there’s something that’s missing for me – there’s not much said for honoring men who are doing this work, or offering them anything in return other than the privilege of being with an amazing woman.

    And, while being with an amazing woman is certainly wonderful, those of us doing this work have more needs than just pride and companionship. We are deep and complex beings, as passionate and self-owned as you, deserving of the same things as you. What does a dancer in the fires of her soul share with a man who gives her everything she wants and needs? How does she give to his entire being as he gives to hers?

    • Koa Cohen

      It’s because the article wasn’t about that. Why do you people expect a book when it’s an article? Each article has a focus. The focus wasn’t on men who are doing the work. The focus is on the men who aren’t doing the work, and for good reason.

    • LANE

      If she’s dancing in the fires of her own soul she doesn’t need a man to give her everything she wants and needs. She needs a man who is dancing in the fires of his own soul. Rilke put it “Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in oneself, to become world, to become world in oneself for the sake of another person”

      What people get out of these kind of relationships is to have a partner who is doing the hard work that you are, because once in a while it is nice to remind yourself you aren’t alone.

  • Arturo Arroyo

    I can sense the emotional charge this post has. And I agree with all of what you say … we live in a society where men are THE MAN when they are tough, heartless, etc… but lacking knowing how to handle their woman and their own emotions… It’s sad to see men unaware of this fact … my 4 years on reading and practicing on these matters have taught me a lot of the woman’s world … most men have no idea what a woman says when she is mad at you… that means: Get your shit together and man up, and that is what we have to do as men … let’s do not make woman our precious “thing” … It’s more important to converge our purposes in life and grow alongside on the path of life … there is nothing more beautiful than walking along with an amazing woman who shine their feminine light upon us to illuminate our path and make it beautiful and colorful despite of the endless obstacles we face as men and as a relationship.
    Nice post thanks for that …I’ll share it with my man friends.

    • asana

      well said. The thing is we are not asking men to be something they are not, just be your best self. Uplift and freakin inspire yourself. We spend so much energy making sure that whatever we do is for the the “good” of the whole yet, there are men who look at this as a challenge some form of competitive foolishness. Real women don’t want a man to take care of her, she wants a man who can brace her up when she has a little setback, encourage and motivate her through setbacks and failures 🙂

  • Peter Panayiotis Karanikas

    Hi Kelly. hope you’re well.

    Don’t know if I qualify as a consciously awake male or not. Never the less, I’m going to bite down and take it for the team regardless, And tell you what you need to give up if you want to your men to man up.

    First of all, the masculine is instinctively submissive to the feminine. In the form of provide and protect. Because mother carries child. And child means immortality. This is the true power that women wield over men. the power of mother. The power to seduce.

    The art of seduction is perhaps the biggest casualty of the womens lib movement. As the dominant gender, it is the feminine that chooses the mate. And the boys are in competition for the affections of the best one. It is here where the power women have over men is most obvious. When a woman flirts with a man, she triggers his “need to reproduce” survival instinct. (Also referred to as being pussy whipped). When wielded with intention and integrity, the divine masculine begins to to trust, And feels safe to awaken.

    If however the feminine wields her power with gay abandon, she triggers another male survival instinct. She becomes the competition.

    “And it doesn’t matter how good you think you look, In that moment, when you are giving as good as you get, you are energetically just another guy in a dress who is in competition for his girl.

    His girl also happens to be the same person (you) he is in competition with. Who by this stage he would have punched if it was another man.

    Except you can’t punch girls. Even if they act like men. Because you have to provide and protect for them.

    And its a pity she comes across like a guy. She’s otherwise pretty tidy…”

    What I’ve tried to do in the last 4 paragraphs is paint a picture of the internal argument men go through when women front like men. It creates a paradox that can turn men into wimps. or worse.

    Women have been spoiled for a long time. The traditional fear based alpha male was always up for it. Like a predator. Because he’s always on the lookout for an opportunity to reproduce.To become immortal.

    In the new energy however, fear levels are coming down and the masculine is responding by assuming his more natural role as prey. Where he can relax and let his instincts work as they are meant to. Waiting for the right instructions to rouse him from his slumber. And seduce him into going on an adventure.

    To summarize..

    If you act like a man expect to be treated like one.

    If you’re waiting for your man to jump you, jump him first. New age sensitive types respond better to being hunted. As opposed to being fought.

    If you provide appropriate inspiration and reward for your man, he’ll bounce out of bed every morning, smile in hand, raring to go and turn your dream into a reality.

    If you give him clear, congruent, compassionate instructions, he won’t look lost when you instruct him. Men are wired up differently to women by necessity. One of the differences is they don’t have the behavioural and emotional flexibility that women do. As a result they are less able to dance with the subtleties of communication that women take for granted. And it matters. If you want him to fulfill your bidding, do him the courtesy of accurate instructions. You don’t build a bridge approximately. By the same token, you don’t discuss quantum physics with a baby.

    If the dominant feminine chooses the mate, then it is her responsibility to choose someone appropriate to her needs. Don’t cop out by choosing third best and then blame him for being a dud. And then bust his balls to change. Be prepared to get your hands dirty. If you want him to face his fears, face yours as well.

    When men aren’t killing each other for the affections of the fairest damsel, they hangout as friends.

    Ask him what he needs from you. Don’t tel him what you think he needs from you. Telling him makes you the competition. And you don’t share secrets with the competition.

    You are feminine. You have the reigns by default. And if you don’t want to take the reigns, why write this article?

    There are consequences for abusing the power of mother.

    I do hope I’ve been able to give you an insight into why the male population are like they are at this time. i’m not for a moment suggesting that men are blameless. Clearly we have a lot of work to do to make up the 50 year head start women have down the evolutionary path,. The reality is both genders are going through a recalibration of roles that are more balanced than they have been for some time. Just a matter of us getting through the growing pains

    To women, the man is but a means. the end, a child.

    Take care Kathy.

    Perter Pan. 🙂

  • Thomas Lasher

    The girl who wrote this sounds like she’s got it all figured out, knows exactly what she wants, talks about her article being for men who are projecting and controlling yet projects her opinion for every women in the room and what they all want.

  • Peter

    😀 this sounds like a letter of a grown woman to her little girl-beeing.
    Title: “I blame the men i choose. But the way around sounds okay fo me, i guess” 😀

    there is a golden rule. you could save time for reading this by just writing it down

  • Will White

    Love all the points here. Devil’s advocate: If a woman were consciously awake, why would she get into a relationship with a guy who is not awake in the first place?

    I feel like a lot of women want a consciously awake guy, but then they end up at a bar around closing time, go home with some guy just because he’s tall, dark & handsome (regardless of whether he’s ‘awake’ or not) and next thing they know, it’s a ‘relationship’.

    • asana

      What about the me, who became fully awake 10 years into my marriage?

  • Ara Momjian

    You forgot to add A Man that plays a musical instrument and writes poems for his woman and then sings them like songs, or, A Man who is handy and can fix shit in the house ,,, Maybe, massage every nite,,,

  • Her

    Who ever wrote this missed the point. We are people, not genders. When you accept yourself, the rest comes naturally, exclusive of your particular hormones. Drop the flag. We are human beings.

  • Isaac Fenell

    Maybe I misinterpreted this article, or maybe I’m bringing something valuable to the table here, but did I hear “our intensity… our bitchiness… it has an origin. We are intuitive,” followed by we want our “emotional equal,” but demand that men have “respect and compassion.”
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about men showing respect and compassion, I’m all about equality in a relationship, and although this article seems to express the desire of real men and real women to be a part of a genuine relationship, I would like to pose a question. How does a man know that this type of woman is genuine, and not a narcissist or a control freak? I’ve seen the warning signs in every assertive woman I’ve met. To be honest, I’m getting cynical. P.S. I live in the Phoenix area in AZ, perhaps this is a demographic issue.

    • LANE

      I would suggest that this is not a demographic issue, rather an issue of our society not teaching men to learn about their own needs and boundaries so that they may have a relationship with strong women. After all if we insist that women are weaker or less valuable than men, then there is no reason to teach men to have that kind of strength.
      A lot of a relationship is about setting boundaries and making sure that they make sense. I have seen many relationships where men don’t assess their own needs and emotions well, so they don’t communicate them well, and they often are full of contradictions. This leaves women in the relationship to sorting out the problems and trying to find causes and solutions when the men fail to step up. And then the women might become control freaks, be resentful, or selfish, because they’ve ended up trying to work through two people’s problems just to make their relationship function. Many women have cultivated the strength to do this, however unsustainable it is, while many men have yet to figure out how to grow up without the assistance of a relationship.

      • gaurav

        I agree with the contention that men are not taught to assess their own needs and emotions and consequently they do not know how to communicate and what to communicate

  • Bob

    Great article and keep it going. I continue to do my work and own my truth. I want to meet a women who wants to walk that same path and share the gift of her true self.

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