An Open Letter To Men From Sexy Consciously Awake Women
About Me
I am a lover of words and all things true. I am an awake women who will not be held down. I am here to do great things for what other reason is there to live and breathe.
About Me
I am a lover of words and all things true. I am an awake women who will not be held down. I am here to do great things for what other reason is there to live and breathe.“You will never get an amazing woman if you’re lame. Period.”
Before you read this, I invite you to read the first post in this series. Don’t skip it. If you don’t read it, I trust you’ll be highly triggered and write me off, call me a bitch, and go along your way. That’s not what I want. That’s not what we want.
What Does It Mean To Be “Consciously Awake”?
Everyone has issues. Men and women both. Humans are imperfect. As a result, we have to deal with and own our shit. We don’t get to throw it onto other people. That’s not what Consciously Awake means.
Being Consciously Awake means practicing self-awareness, keeping high standards for yourself and for your life, and playing in the fires of your soul.
When we do that, we want our partners to be on the same path. Otherwise, we women end up playing mommy, babysitting, and miss out on the deep emotional connection we crave from our men.
So, men, if you’ve ever had a woman you care for tell you any one of the following, this post is definitely for you:
- “Man up!”
- “Be more aware, accountable, and responsible.”
- “Go to counseling.”
- “Own your shit.”
- “Stop projecting.”
- “You’re too controlling and critical.”
- “You’re not listening. Hear me.”
- “Quit acting like a baby.”
Then frankly… YOU NEED TO CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU RIIIGEDY WRECK YOURSELF.
What We Crave From You
We crave men we can rely on. We want men who complement us. We will not compete with you. We want men to know our core desires, honor our brilliance, beauty, personalities, and capabilities. We don’t want men focused on tearing us down. We want men who lift us up.
We want men who love to play. We want men who work hard all day so they can relax when they’re with us.
We revel in the present and look for men who can take us to the future. We won’t waste our time. We will not give away our precious energy.
We are willing to go to great lengths to develop ourselves emotionally. We have worked for what we have in life. We will not apologize, minimize our feelings or sell ourselves short for self-entitled brats who want to be the prize. We want you to stand for the greatest version of us.
We love the dance. We won’t chase. Girls chase. They put hot guys on a pedestals. If you want to chase us, you’re wasting your time.
We will not fluff you up emotionally. If a woman is bold enough to tell you she wants you or likes you, you need take the reigns. We don’t want to be a slave driver. We want you to be a leader.
We won’t cater to your insecurities if you lack the ability to feel our love. We will not shovel reassurance at you. If you want us, come get us. We will not wait around. We look for authenticity and integrity. We want the real deal.
You can call us what you want. But our intensity… our bitchiness… it has an origin. We are intuitive. We know when we’re getting less than your best.
We’re tired of boys. We need men.
We’re exhausted. We get lonely. We want emotional equals. We want your love and affection. We crave your admiration and adoration. We want you. We need you.
In fairness, not all you have your heads in the sand. If you’ve read this far, it’s likely you take a proactive stance about your inner work and reflect. You look at the common theme and failures in your relationships. You actively seek evolution without mommy dearest having to spank you into shape.
But those who’ve quit reading are more than likely stubborn, caught up in image, and have Peter Pan Syndrome. They refuse to grow up. They think their shit don’t stink. They blame women for their shortcomings. They take no ownership of their twisted dynamics.
I’ll share this with you now. Become the man you’ve always wanted to be. You don’t have a shot with us otherwise.
You Will Never Get An Amazing Woman If You’re Lame. Period.
Getting what you want and need doesn’t have to be so difficult or challenging. We want to love and we want to be loved.
We don’t want you to be someone you’re not. We want you to be the greatest version of yourself. We’re all flawed and in need of growth. We’re here to stand for you. We want you to stand for us.
We want you to take some fucking responsibility for your self and for your life. We aren’t asking any more of you than we’re demanding of ourselves.
How much of your being are you willing to devote to what your heart desires? Fear of pain and loss is not an excuse. You are here to LIVE and LOVE and we won’t settle for less. And the real truth is… you don’t want us to.
Right now, I’m pioneering a path to empower a new breed of women. These women stand in their power and are enough for themselves. They will no longer be hurting themselves unintentionally. The heart of our issues as women is doubting our self-worth. If we, as women, stop looking outside of ourselves and start looking at how we create our reality, we have to ask ourselves, “What am I willing to put up with?”
No man on this planet is worth half the heart ache we’ve felt. The right men, the ones still reading, now know what it means to take care us. These men won’t fuck around with our hearts. It’s time we surround ourselves with these kinds of men. We can trust these men with our hearts.
3 Quick Questions to Ask Yourself When Choosing A Man
- Do I feel good about myself around this person?
- Does this man stand for and honor my highest good and brilliance?
- Does this person treat me with respect and compassion?
If you answer NO to any of these questions: GET THE FUCK OUT!
There are way too many men in this world to settle for bullshit. And if he’s hot, honey, there will be another. There are always others.
Let’s be allies. Let’s help each other out. Life is too challenging for us to compete with one another.
XO, Kelly Marceau
PS. I want to thank 3 men in my life who’ve helped me forge my own path to self-awareness.
Adam: You started it all. DJ by night. Psychologist by day. You held up a mirror and believed in my progress. I can never thank you enough for your role in my conscious evolution.
Trevor: no man has ever allowed me to gaze more deeply into his soul than you have. We met at 23. And you still know me better today than any other man on this planet.
Conan: you are a big deal to me. You’ve humbled me greatly in my life. You taught me how to love unconditionally and stay in my heart even when I was scared. I can never thank you enough for helping me as a woman.
Edited By Samuel Hershberger / Artist Featured Image: Delphin Enjolras
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Funny thing about this article is that it reads as if it’s written by someone who is taking no ‘responsibility for their shit’ at all. It comes across as a rant written from a position of blame and disappointment by someone who is projecting those feelings outwards. It is written with no respect for other people and the fact that they may have very different ideas, hopes, fears and agendas to those of a self-styled “strong and consciously awake woman”. Many people do not see their role or focus in life as living up to other people’s standards and hopes. In my experience, a lot of women who have a very strong self-image of being ‘strong and consciously awake’ are often not quite so self-aware as they believe; sometimes this focus on ‘strength’ is actually a wall that prevents a person from accepting or hearing where the other is coming from, and which can be a big barrier to them achieving the sort of relationship they want.
Far more than ‘strength’, good relationships involve a real acceptance that people are far from perfect, and a great deal of warmth, patience and understanding about that from both parties. They also involve asking for what you want, not demanding it, and realising that no one has a right to have the other person meet their needs. When treated with empathy, and as an individual rather than as a potential source of gratification, most people, men included, will want to, and try to, do their best for the other. Relationship problems are almost always two-sided in one way or another, and I’m surprised that such a consciously awake person seems so unaware of this.
When I read something like “You actively seek evolution without mommy dearest having to spank you into shape” I wonder how a woman who shows such a total lack of respect for people in how she communicates would expect men to react. Men also need warmth and empathy and acceptance for where they are right now. Like women they appreciate being seen for who they are, not for how amazing they could make the woman’s life if only they were different. Like women, men tend to respond well to being listened to, and having the other person own their feelings and desires instead of projecting them onto the man in their life. If a women is consistently choosing men who are not on her wavelength, and then expecting them to change to be what she wants (and ranting at them about their ‘inadequacies’ to try to make them do so) then the answer to the problem lies in the mirror, and nowhere else.
Loved the article, although the energy in the writing feels to be very masculine…
the opinion expressed by the writer belongs to women mostly in western countries and women outside america would most likely not agree with the writer when she says that women need love and sex
my own experience has been that women do not need men for anything. women do not feel lonely or weak ever, they are strong, at least that is what the article suggests. so if women are strong and do not need any friends or love or any relationship then what is the point of this article
the writer is saying that if men are weak, a woman should simply reject them, but if a woman is weak, a real man would support her no matter what. did I understand that correctly?
So basically you are saying that alle men must be consiously awake while only maybe 1% of the women are… To paraphrase the article… You will never get an amazing man if you’re lame… Period.
Edit: damn autocorrect 🙂
What do you mean by self awareness? Beautiful statement. How would I know it if I saw it?
These two articles are touching on some good points, but comes over a bit accusatory. As a men I need good women as well, and they are hard to find, so I wanted to respond. Lots of what been touched on has been addressed more rationally in existing books that I would recommend both men and women to read, I’m sure there are other good books as well that I have not discovered yet, but these books and authors are worth looking into:
The-Six-Pillars-Self-Esteem (it talked about Living Consciously)
Real-Time Relationships
Alice Miller
Adverse Childhood Experiences and The Bomb in the Brain (Do a search on TED)
The Specifics of Living Consciously (page 72)
Living consciously entails:
– A mind that is active rather than passive.
– An intelligence that takes joy in its own function.
– Being “in the moment,” without losing the wider context.
– Reaching out towards relevant facts rather than withdrawing from them.
– Being concerned to distinguish among facts, interpretations, and emotions.
– Noticing and confronting my impulses to avoid or deny painful or threatening realities.
– Being concerned to know “where I am” relative to my various (personal and professional) goals and projects, and whether I am succeeding or failing.
– Being concerned to know if my actions are in alignment with my purposes.
– Searching for feedback from the environment so as to adjust or correct my course when necessary.
– Persevering in the attempt to understand in spite of difficulties.
– Being receptive to new knowledge and willing to re-examine old assumptions.
– Being willing to see and correct mistakes.
– Seeking always to expand awareness – a commitment to learning – therefore, a commitment to growth as a way of life.
– A concern to understand the world around me.
– A concern to know not only external reality but also internal reality, the reality of my needs, feelings, aspirations, and motives, so that I am not a stranger or a mystery to myself.
– A concern to be aware of values that move and guide me, as well as their roots, so that I am not ruled by values I have irrationally adopted or uncritically accepted from others.