Sexy Consciously Awake Women: Who We Are, What We Want & Need From Men
About Me
I am a lover of words and all things true. I am an awake women who will not be held down. I am here to do great things for what other reason is there to live and breathe.When you are not dealing with Consciously Awake Women you are dealing with crazy bitches, women with emotional problems and severe insecurity issues.
I’d like to allow my vulnerability to shine through in this piece. It’s rare that I let down my guard, and speak from my heart and feminine essence.
My masculine has ruled for so long. But recently, I realized how hardened I’ve actually become.
Someone came into my life for a brief moment, blasted some serious perspective, and awoke the sleeping feminine in me.
So, here I sit today, ready to flip the script on what it means to show vulnerability. I’m here to show that vulnerability is neither weak nor cowardly. It requires immense courage and strength.
It’s my coming out party.
What The Heck Does It Mean To Be A Consciously Awake Woman
For clarity’s sake: the term Consciously Awake might trip some of you up. “What the heck does that mean and why the hell is it so important?”
I’ll put this bluntly.
When you are not dealing with Consciously Awake Women you are dealing with crazy bitches, women with emotional problems and severe insecurity issues.
MUST-READ: 6 Things Consciously Awake Women Want From Sex
To The Men:
If you love drama and women who bathe in insecurity, you have no business reading this unless you’re ready for a change.
This post might trigger you. That’s okay. That’s growth.
To The Women:
This post might trigger you too. Being a Consciously Awake woman requires you to work through these triggers. It’s no one’s responsibility but your own. If you choose not to accept that, stop reading now.
But, if you, reader, male and female, want to grow into more awareness in your relationships and life, settle into your seat for the next ten minutes. I’m about to lay down some meaningful shit.
The choice is yours.
Before I take you too far down the rabbit hole, I want to be clear: EVERYONE has issues. Men. Women. The difference lies in self-awareness.
Yes, Consciously Awake means Self-Aware. It is the complete antithesis of self-conscious.
Unfortunately, whether the cause was childhood trauma, sexual abuse, or mommy and daddy didn’t teach much about self-respect/worth, most women start out a little “off.”
The tough reality is that all women have to navigate these waters until they personally decide how they want to view themselves. And often, we see this result in unconscious self-hate.
Bad decisions. Unhealthy relationships. Insecurities. Doubt. Self-deprecation. Comparison.
These are self-hate manifestations.
At 23-years old, my romantic life was tripping me up. I was choosing men who were ambitious and driven. The downside is they were complete pricks. I liked men that were wicked smart. It’s a shame that some of those fools were too wicked for their own well being.
Then I met Adam. Adam and I clicked. Conversation was endless. There were no topics left untouched. What a relief that was.
Adam was a Consciously Awake man, the first I had ever encountered in my life. His self-awareness opened my own world to an expansion of my self. The part of me I had been craving for an eternity.
MUST-READ: 5 Signs You’ve Found An Evolved Man & Why Your Should Be Scared Sh*tless
Deep-seeded issues started arising. I had no idea how much my past was playing itself out in my present.
Fortunately, the one thing I had gotten right (and didn’t fuck around with) was my outright refusal to compromise on my standards of living. So, instead of running, I dived in to examine and process the stuff I’d buried for so long.
My desire to wake up was bigger than my desire to stay unconscious. I went to war with my demons and did the work to become a more Consciously Awake human being.
Choosing awareness was brutal. Real examination of self and vulnerability requires courage, discipline and immense strength. It’s tough to understand until you’re sinking in piles of your own shit and you have to figure a way out before it suffocates you.
But once you’re out… you’re free.
MUST-READ: 8 Ways To Awaken The Sexy Goddess Within
Consciously Awake Women Are Not Your Average Woman
Consciously Awake Women choose growth and evolution of self.
We take pride in our personal development. We dive into the fires of our souls, emotional triggers, past wounds, flaws, mistakes, or pain. We aren’t afraid of therapy or coaching. We don’t allow fear to make decisions for us.
We care about our health, attitude, style, and connections. We value communication. We are reasonable (even when we’re pissed off). We admit when we are wrong. We are willing to talk things out once the dust has settled.
We’re beautiful but not flawless. We’re aware but not egotistical. We slip from time to time. We own what’s ours. We let you own what’s yours. We’re healthy and sane. We get crazy and party. We work through our shadows.
We, Consciously Awake Women, are relationship material. We are the kind of women men want.
Here’s the truth you might now know or realize. And it’s the truth of many other women as well.
Men… WE NEED YOU
All this “we don’t need you” crap is a big fucking lie.
The problem is a lot of you are lame, unreliable, emotionally stunted, and impossible to date.
The idea that the vast majority of men are cavemen has validity. And it’s hard to need (and want) a caveman with no purpose and no ability to communicate to us as women.
We need men, not boys.
Ever since the Women’s Liberation movement, women have been vying for the respect and equality we deserve. Women have only begun to fully understand how the over-arching male ego of our greater reality and history has fractured our femininity.
The women’s movement made women more masculine. If women wanted to play with the “big boys” we had to play a man’s game. We had to armor up. We turned to masculinity for strength so that we could reasonably compete in a man’s world, leaving us hardened, bitter, and aggressive bitches who have little to no faith left in the emotional maturity or acknowledgement of men.
And guys… we’re really fucking tired of fighting for the right to be seen and honored for the magnitude of what and who we are.
We want you to take your blinders off. We want you to actually treat women the way you would want men to treat your moms, sisters, and daughters.
MUST-READ: 6 Things An Evolved Woman Want From A Man
We’re done fighting. You either get it or you don’t.
So, today, on behalf of all women, I am taking off the armor and the boxing gloves.
We no longer need to self protect to be strong. We are STRONG.
We are not afraid to feel. We are emotional beings. We can be hurt and it is okay. We don’t require a man to be responsible for our emotions.
We want a man that can handle all of us, emotionally mature men who don’t run away at the sight of our essence.
We have evolved through enormous effort and courage to confront the tumultuous waters of our own emotional landscape and conditioning.
We are not entitled or self-righteous. We are confident and loving. We love ourselves first.
We are not selfish. We have boundaries. We trust our intuition.
And we have no time for emotionally counterfeit men.
MUST-READ: She- The Sexually Empowered Woman
The Difference Between Men and Boys To A Consciously Awake Woman
There is nothing un-sexier to a Consciously Awake woman than a guy who is still being potty trained emotionally. These men are not men. They’re boys.
And to the women who are still toying with these boys, you can make better choices. It’s time to demand these men step up and initiate into manhood.
There is a big difference between a MAN who can harness his boy spirit, and be playful, loving, funny, and obnoxious, and a man who has the emotional intelligence of a teenage boy.
3 Signs A Man Is Still Potty Training Emotionally
- He’s never explored his emotional landscape or done inner personal work, gone through extensive therapy or personal and emotional coaching.
- He doesn’t own his shit. He expects others to deal with his emotional issues, triggers, unresolved childhood stuff or dysfunctional family imprinting.
- He’s insecure and projects his fear and emotional wounds onto you, but tries to spin it like you’re the one with issues.
Emotionally stunted men are an epidemic in our culture. A lot of these emotionally stunted guys have awesome personalities. The real problem is that they’re cool in every way except for how they choose to deal with their emotions.
All women get caught up with these types at one stage or another until they wise up.
Why? Because we aren’t living in a culture where the emotional intelligence of men is predominantly great, and it often takes time for people to see others as they actually are.
A lot of women are so starved for connection that they begin making excuses. They get roped into multi-yearlong love affairs when WARNING SIGNS have been flashing the entire time.
Ladies! Stop falling for a guy’s potential. Too many women want to be with the idea of who a man is. They sacrifice deep emotional intimacy and choose good looks and hot sex, then complain once the relationship fails.
If he has major emotional issues (like the ones I highlighted), you will be babysitting, playing mommy, and living with a headache larger than life.
That is unless he is willing to work his shit out on his own without you nagging him to do so. The desire must come from within, not from you.
It’s time we choose men who value growth. We will no longer subscribe to one-sided relationship. These leave us bitter, resentful and unfulfilled.
We’ve been down that road too many times already. We aren’t looking for disappointment. We are looking for someone who stands out.
We want men who challenge us to grow.
MUST-READ: 6 Things An Evolved Man Wants From A Woman
I Didn’t Come Here To Stay The Same. Did You?
It’s a choice we must make daily. It’s scary. We must confront it.
We can choose fear – or we can choose the life we crave and wish to experience.
We are not asking for perfection, but our standards remain high.
XO, Kelly Marceau
Artist Featured Image: Edward John Pointer | Edited By Samuel Hershberger
VIDEO: “WHY I LOVE SEX”
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Curtis, you are absolutely correct. This article, written as it was from the feminine perspective, fails to note that women capable of this behavior (honest introspection, the ability to own responsibility for their feelings and stop blaming you, etc.) are as rare as men who can do this. I dated hundreds of women over many years before I found one who had these abilities. My average length of a relationship, if you can call it that, was ten days. Unhealthy women will demonstrate their illness early on in a relationship. We men either think we can heal them, or we see the good in them and think if we love them enough, long enough, that the good in them will find fertile soil and will grow–bullshit. A weed is a weed no matter the garden in which it is planted. It is far easier to pull a weed early while the roots are small than it is to wait till that tap root embeds itself in your heart. I learned that anyone can be good when it suits them–even the most evil amongst us can do that. The true measure of a person’s character is not how good they CAN be; it is how bad they are willing to be. Good people do not allow themselves to be intentionally hurtful. If you are with a woman who will do things like use anger as an excuse to say things she knows to be hurtful to you, dump her. You’ve learned all you need to know about her. If you date a woman who says it’s your fault she’s treating you badly, dump her. Again, you’ve learned all you need to know. Besides, you deserve a woman who is healthy and takes responsibility for keeping herself that way. why spend your life with someone who is broken? Let her fix herself, because she will try to make you responsible for her emotional stability, and that is a losing proposition. Don’t hand on. Don’t make excuses for her. The more time you spend with unhealthy women, the less likely you are to meet that healthy one. Relationships with healthy people (assuming you are healthy) are easy. Anyone who tells you relationships are hare is likely not well. Cheers!
I found it didn’t go into that much detail. Then the article abruptly ended on “Why I Love Sex” video link to YouTube.
Articles like this I can never believe that it’s even true that a woman wrote it (bad grammar). I see articles like this everywhere and I can’t seem to find a single woman who subscribes to this kind of maturity and awareness. I would love to meet a woman I can talk with to my hearts’ desire, who loves sex and isn’t afraid of a little male emotion from time to time, including crying on their shoulders when we are particularly crushed because we care so much (well, I do anyways). So far I have not found this anywhere in anyone, and I have dated dozens women. Alas, I am much more choosy and critical now than 10 or even 20 years ago – and rightly so. The next woman I want to meet must be founded in the oceans of love and in the bright light of self-awareness, honesty, and while desire to grow all together and to cherish the daily stories of our lives. Please god send me one, if she’s not the one I have found and have been waiting for (3 years of longing for – MY – redheaded Viking Queen).
I am loyal to a fault. I love hard and I love raw. Do apologize for my superpower.
“When you are not dealing with Consciously Awake Women you are dealing with crazy bitches, women with emotional problems and severe insecurity issues.” I’m all aboard the sex-positive tenet, but nothing is black-and-white. It’s a popular stereotype to portray women (yourself), as being in touch with feelings and naturally good at communicating them. That idea, however, has a harmful corollary: When women are overcome with emotions, they are incapable of making decisions and thus: we are crazy. This needs to stop. I’ve enjoyed some of these articles, but I feel it doesn’t feed awareness, it feeds into stereotypes that are hurtful to women who want to feel empowered. Let’s lift each other up and out of hurtful investiture.
Well written, full of great points. It’s not hard to see the places where I’m hung up, and how that hurts my wife. That being said…there’s something in this that feels off.
I guess it comes down to this. The idea that there is a class of ‘consciously awake women’ that all have the same fundamental needs conflicts with my direct experience of existence. Rather, I propose that all humans are consciously awake, to some degree. It is a gradient. The idea that it’s some kind of plateau which imbues a shared set of needs and experiences is, in my understanding, very dangerous.
Some consciously awake women exist as catalysts, and very much enjoy spending time with many different men who they help to find the next rung. Some consciously awake women aren’t interested in men at all. Some are interested in women. Some are celibate and focused on other aspects of existence.
I can’t fault most of the things asked for, but I wonder how useful it is, and how it furthers consciousness and wakefulness, to generalize about anything at all. Moreover, there’s a real danger of using this kind of generalization to support a ‘True Scotsman’ fallacy, and decide that Ms. Soandso isn’t a consciously awake woman because she doesn’t share this need, or this quality. In other words, I can hear what the author wants. I understand what the author needs. I can recognize the truth underlying the author’s frustrations. I cannot, however, jump behind the idea that the author gets to define what a consciously awake woman looks like by projecting her wants and needs outward.
Kelly…you are conscious, and awake. So are all of the men, and all of the women, to some degree…to the degree which they are able to be in that moment. That’s the important take away…forget trying to change men…men change. Forget trying to change yourself…you’ll change. Be here now, and let your partner learn in whatever way they need to to be here now. Generalizations are unnecessary.
And yet…it created a conversation, and do enjoy those, so thank you. <3
Depends.
Neccesary for what?
Relationships force us to compromise and work together intimately and to do our personal work that we can ignore and pretend doesnt exist in every other social medium.
Its neccesary to engage in deep intimacy with other human beings for us to develop spiritually past a certain point unless we replace the human with hundreds of hours of dedicated spiritual practice and even then… usually that can only go so far as its purely selfish in nature.
Most things that we do are.
There are some gifts and spiritual dynamics that can not be engaged in any other way.
so yes need is a strong word but I believe that deep, honest and challenging relationships are neccessary (need) for us to evolve in some specific ways that cannot be supplemented with porn, food, family, success, stability or anything else.
But this is my need, to evolve, not everyone wants to evolve. Some people want to validate who they think they are and stay the same and in this manner never have to admit they could possibly make a mistake 😉
Thank you.
This is one of the BEST articles I have ever read.
No blame game or shifting of responsibilities and you lay out the reasons and methods as well (roughly) so that people can come to terms. I think that every man and woman should read this at least once and probably once a day for most until it sinks in and becomes common sense.
“Common sense: So rare these days its like a super power”
As such you are indeed superhuman.
Thank you.
<3
Well scripted I really agree with much of what is said. The only thing is it’s comes across a bit angry in places. I think if some of the messages were put out in blunt point form way – without too much thought. Whereas others where she glorifies redeemable qualities in men – this is where one wants to be rather “Bold” and elaborate in context. As its key highlight the outcome you are promoting! Nicky Khan
wow Thank you for this piece I’m one off this awake woman for many easy I that I’m from different planet then I realized that women they lost themselves they lost the elegance the self estimation etc.
We speak a common emotionally fired-up, passionate language! Thanks for being you! I love it!
Really really enjoyed reading this; kind of words well where my own conclusions lead about where we all are emotionally right now and that its time for less bullshit from men and a lot more growing up. Right now it mostly is women leading the way.
DEEP SEATED ….. please please please …. when in doubt use google !!!!!!
Great article — you could start a dating website for “Consciously Awake Single”… 🙂
Nice read. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Heron Free
http://www.therelationshipcode.com
Wonderfully written. Great insight. Thank you.
I absolutely love all your work! This article was eye-opening! Thank you for sharing from your experience, i appreciate it. Sending much love and light!
Great work,beloved. keep shining.
teach your daughters to be far more choosy re men- TEST them beforehand in all areas to see how they react- happy , sad, angry, depressed- pushed to see how they deal with it BEFORE give of yourself – – then you will find there are lots of us great guys, who will build you up, help improve your own self image and take care of yourself FIRST. You do not need men- 4 sure- but the right one – – I had been married twice before I met my wife- both were the worst destructive women on the planet, then this one and we have had 26 years of bliss- best friend, great sex, great partnership – CHOOSE BETTER LADIES – don’t blame some moron you should have never given the time of day to – Think better of yourself. ( I love all women- strong women – I teach Tae Kwon Do to women- gives you similar benefits) TEST THEM 1st!!!!!!!
The quest for psychodynamic awareness is one currently on the minds of a tiny minority of the global population, namely educated, intelligent, Western women and men. At least 2 billion of the world’s population struggle without electricity or easy access to clean water. In half the world’s nations, gender equality is centuries away from acceptance as even a legitimate concept and women’s lives are lived in subjugation to entrenched, state supported male supremacy. Hundreds of millions of females have their genitals mutilated each year, robbing them of a vital human right….the right to experience sexual pleasure & the myriad benefits of orgasm. With the above in mind, it’s still legitimate for those in the fortunate position to do so, to optimise oneself as a human being, including having therapy to gain an understanding of who we are & what has shaped our personality and our relationship with ourselves and each other. There are over 300 named schools of psychotherapy claiming to have the answer. My advice, look for a therapist whose credentials are warmth, honesty, sincerity & genuineness first and a practical, respectful, eclectic approach, second. There is much to gain personally from conscious awareness but keep in mind how much assistance half the women in the world desperately need to survive, to be freed and to thrive at the most basic levels.
Thanks for reminder…..I am a bit late, I know !
“We want a man that can handle all of us, emotionally mature men who don’t run away at the sight of our essence.
We have evolved through enormous effort and courage to confront the tumultuous waters of our own emotional landscape and conditioning.”
This really resonates with me. I’ve dedicated my life to awakening sexually & spiritually as woman (and coaching others through this process) and the more I’ve awakened, the more inclined the men I’ve been in relationship with seem to be to RUN! As in, literally, wake up one morning and go with out any explanation!
I have been through hell and high water to explore and heal my inner landscape – it’s part of what I commit to every day. But I have found, to-date, the men I meet are simply unable to match that and are, as you say further on in your article, emotionally illiterate.
That said, when the happens, I always look first to what is going on within me, as I absolutely believe that one’s outer world reflects one’s inner world.
So I have, for example, recently, found a part of me that hated and was disgusted by men and I didn’t like to admit it, but I understood how the energy of this unresolved anger would keep the right men away from me.
I love the way you write – you are incredibly eloquent and entertaining, and you do address a vital issue – i.e. the need for many men to cultivate self-awareness and emotional intelligence, but I do also feel a very angry tone in your writing, which I imagine would be alienating to many guys.
In short: Your crazy is yours to deal with. That’s why they run.
I wish to speak to all the Women of and for the World,
I wish to speak to all the Women of and for the World, thank you for
this great opportunity and its such an honor to have your attention. I
have always had a great reverence for women, I never could understand
how they have been so abused by men. Fortunately, I live in a mostly
latino, clown/ artist eco community in the Andes, surrounded by
powerful, sweet, loving women and good men as well.. A world without
women…can you imagine how barren, bleak, and cold that would be, even
if it meant that us men would probably have a lot less problems to deal
with :).
All that is sweet in the world seems to be contained in
each and every woman. Of course, I have found that as sweet as she can
be, is exactly equal to the power of her fury, if she should be provoked
in such a way as to cause her to erupt into a storm or a tsunami. So, I
am always careful to be conscious, real, and loving when I enjoy their
presences. And here I am today, alive today, which is a testament to the
veracity of my words.
But please don’t think that I put women
on a pedestal. I don’t wish for you to have that impression. I know that
that is false. It is one thing to love, admire, and respect someone,
but in reality we need to be on an equal footing. Because with all the
wondrous qualities a woman might possess, in the end, they are just as
human as the rest of us, or maybe I should say, just as “divine” as the
rest of us, gods and goddesses.
Fortunately, I have had the
benefit of some lovely “goddesses” to enlighten me in the ways of women,
so that I know what not to do, i.e. never to offer to “fix” whatever it
is that is bothering her, as well as what to do, i.e. empathize,
empathize, empathize. And if i should have the good fortune to have a
woman that is willing to open her heart to me, I know that she simply
needs to be authentically loved all the time and never taken for granted
(that would be tantamount to suicide, or maybe even murder).
There
are many other things that men are guilty of with regards to women,
sexism is ubiquitous, even with guys like myself, supposedly conscious
and alternative, we can make a joke which objectifies the female body
and when the woman is appalled, simply say, ” oh please, lighten up, it
was just a joke” and never see how hurtful the words can be.
Patriarchism is another horror that women have had to endure, which in my mind is a
form of arrogance that comes from the ludicrous assumption that men know
more than women, that women are weak. Really, it seems that all the
negative things that women have had to experience at the hands of men
come from the fact that men in general, are unable to assimilate the
powerful sexual energy that women embody and hence we have the double
standard where men can be as sexual as they can, while women are
supposed to be the opposite.
If we are ever to achieve peace,
respect, and love between the sexes, men must assume their true role,
which might be that of a “master servant”. That is, to be a protector,
never to allow violence or injustice, to demonstrate love in as many
forms as possible, just as women seem to be all about love and
nurturing, men also need to be about giving love, like a master, giving
love effectively, effusively, graciously, and continuously.
I
would like to live in a world where love is everywhere, without any
shame or guilt, because it would be genuine and authentic, person to
person, not just body to body. (Sex without love is kind of like a
MacDonald’s cheeseburger, it might taste good to someone who has never
experience real food, but it leaves a bad after taste, and is bad for
the soul and body.) And where there is real love and attraction, sex
would be plentiful and available as it is a very important human need,
and should never need to be commercialized, which seems to be the case
ever since syphilization began.
Of course, all women need and deserve love and respect. Men have been
using the vagina as an escape, a place to hide from the visicisitudes,
pain, and injustices of our current paradigm, instead of a place to
share in the orgasmic love that created the Universe, as we know it, the
“big bang”.
In a world without women, I am
sure love could exist, but just the fact that our world has both sexes,
makes for the possibility of an ecstatic form of love that takes our
existence to a higher dimension, another realm, to a fuller realization,
analogous perhaps, to the fact that our
world with all of its sounds has made it possible for us to create and
enjoy music, that having the gift of sight allows us to enjoy the
feeling of beauty and to create art, and because of the pragmatic qualitiy of discernment
that our minds are capable of we have developed humor and the joy of
laughter.
We can imagine that animals have sex, but are
incapable of “love” as we know it and only operate on an “instinctual”
level. So, even though we have lost much of our naturalness and wildness
under the yolk of capitalism and the patriarchal hierarchies that we
tolerate, that have usurped our freedom, joy, and dignity, we can regain it,
when “love” is
manifest in all that we do. And therefore ladies, I thank you from the
infinite depths of my heart for the
shining examples and possibilities of love that you bring to our world.
my god you are a white knight…
very well written, i’d say animals definitely do love each other, and that we are animals first and foremost. all this enlightenment talk is kinda ridiculous, but good in the same way a christian takes pride in christianity, or a happy person “knows” happiness