Lisa Schrader, the Founder of Awakening Shakti, has impacted the lives of thousands of women for more than a decade as a workshop leader, author, speaker and coach. Her work has been featured on Oprah, Oxygen and VH1. She is the author of "Kama Sutra 52: A Year's Worth of the Best Positions for Passion and Pleasure" from Quiver Books and “Getting Started with Tantra.” She has a private coaching practice supporting clients worldwide and is certified through the International Coach Federation.
“Many women suffering from so-called sexual dysfunction – including lack of interest – are giving up on sex not because there’s something “wrong” with them, but because they’re yearning for something more.”
In the ancient teachings of Tantra and sacred sexuality, women’s erotic capacity is believed to be significantly higher than that of men.
So what’s with the current epidemic of sexually unsatisfied women?
Perhaps it’s because the typical “friction” sex for many women just doesn’t do it.
Unleashing Her Orgasmic Fire
Awakening the Goddess in a woman will likely result in unleashing more of her passion and orgasmic fire.
But it’s also about opening our hearts, recognizing ourselves as Divine, and fully inhabiting the sacred vessel that is the human body.
8 Simple Ways To Awaken The Sexy Goddess
#1 Support & Love Her
A woman’s turn-on is directly affected by her levels of oxytoxin, the love hormone.
“A woman has to have regular doses of this “good stuff” to counteract her stress hormones–the one’s that make her feel overwhelmed, brittle, tapped-out, bitchy and decidedly NOT sexy.”
A woman needs to make time for pleasure and relaxation – a warm bath, massage, shopping, cooking, a pedicure, or a glass of wine – or a girl’s night out for her health and well being.
“To keep the juice flowing, a woman needs to feel supported. She needs to know that she has help, that she does not have to do everything by herself, and that she can count on others.”
#2 Be Present
Women often complain that men touch them in a way that feels like they’re trying to “get” something.
“The masculine – being directional and goal-oriented – may understandably be trying to turn her on or arouse her, perhaps to pave the way for sex, orgasm, or some other goal.”
In the moment, however, the signal of a man’s “future” agenda can make a woman feel pressured to perform or get somewhere else other than where she currently is.
Instead, be present in the now.
#3 Touch Her With Reverence
“Send love through your touch into her body. Bring curiosity to your touch, as if you’ve never touched a body before.”
As you touch her body, bring your awareness to the actual sensation of your skin on hers.
If your mind wanders towards habitual thoughts of: “what’s coming next?” gently bring your awareness back to the present moment, and reconnect to your breath and the sensations in your hands through your touch.
#4 Pace Yourself
The powerful force known as the Goddess cannot be found on the surface of things; she resides deep within, where she is protected.
“Women are slow to warm, while men are quick to fire. Taking time to stoke her fires will naturally open one gateway after the next, until you find yourself approaching the inner chambers of the Goddess herself.”
When you approach a woman too quickly, or with an agenda instead of presence, she may become aroused and enjoy herself, but you’ll miss an opportunity to connect with the hidden parts of her. Those corridors will be off limits and guarded because the conditions haven’t been met to warrant access.
Instead of settling for something superficial, take your time and experience her on a whole new level!
Without first establishing trust with a woman, you won’t get very far with her. In the hierarchy of our sexual needs, there’s nothing more important for a woman than feeling safe.
“Because our authentic feminine sexual energy has the potential to be so potent – our orgasms so annihilating to our ego-identity, our pleasure so transformational – we need to be able to trust that it’s safe for us to completely let go.”
If we are going to truly dissolve into the void of ‘Divine Union’, we have to trust that someone or something is going to hold space while we’re “away” and help us come back and reawaken ourselves.
The seat of a woman’s orgasmic potential lies not in her genitals, but in her heart and her breasts. Her sex center is often cooler and more passive whereas her heart center is hotter and more active (for men it’s typically the opposite).
“Spend time with her breasts, the gateway to (and protectors of) her heart. By lovingly touching her breasts in the way that they want to be touched, this can help a woman relax, signaling to the rest of her body that it’s safe to open.”
So if you want to warm her up sexually, meet her at the heart first so that energy can melt down. Make sure she feels loved and appreciated. Encourage her to share her feelings and speak about what’s in her heart.
#7 Honor Her
A receptive and awake yoni will literally magnetize to her what she wants. Allow her to draw you in and welcome you before entering her.
Before entering her, consider asking,
“May I enter your sacred space?”
Women will respond instantly to such expressions of honor and reverence!
#8 Surrender To The Journey
The masculine in all of us loves to rush to the finish line, meet the goal, and win the prize. But the feminine in us prefers to go with the flow, feel everything along the way, and surrender to the journey itself.
“As the arousal builds during lovemaking, surrender to the flow of orgasmic energy will inspire the Goddess within. Rather than rushing to the peak of orgasm and crashing back down again, allow the orgasmic energy to build, then relax and surrender to it.”
Awaken The Sleeping Goddess
The inner Goddess is longing to be seen and recognized by you. You may not see her, but she’s there. She’s just asleep.
Awakening her does not mean that she needs to be fixed. What she needs is to be awakened.