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The Under F**ked Pussy Epidemic (Every Woman Needs To Read This!!)

underfucked

About Me

After overcoming rape, divorce, self-sabotage, sexual shame and self-hatred Kendal has learned to dance in the radiance of the Creator’s light, embracing and expanding love. She has learned that our sexuality is the greatest creative force on this planet and is dedicated to helping others heal their shame and misunderstanding.

“A good orgasm is satisfying, but a great orgasm can be a revelation of your deepest being, unfolding the truth of who you are in ecstatic communion with your lover.” — David Deida

Recently I was speaking with a young woman about her orgasms and her state of emotion. She shared with me how she had been diagnosed with depression and ADHD, how Peri-Menopausal Symptoms (PMS) was terrible for her and how she felt that she needed a man in her life to protect, save and hold her. She had been abandoned by the men in her past and had gained an ill understanding of her own heart and soul.
Disconnected from her pussy and from her true self she exhibited self-hatred and shame, she felt embarrassed and lacked confidence, yet tried to hide all of this under a bubbly, loud personality with a beaming smile and flashy sex drive.

Practically throwing herself at men, begging for their attention so she could survive one more day and pretend that for that moment she had love in her life.

The Importance Of High-Quality Orgasms

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As I sat there listening to her story, watching the emotions cross over her face I could feel her pain, I found myself wanting to just embrace her and tell her that everything would be okay, but that was the protective mama bear in me.

Instead I chose to be honest and share the facts, “Sounds like you need to be properly f-ked my dear,” is what I responded.

She looked at me and said, “What?”

I restated it, “It sounds like you need to be properly f-ked, I don’t mean go have sex, just some junk food sex, I mean you need some gourmet, yummie, fulfilling f-king. You need an orgasm that fills your whole body.”

She looked at me a bit taken back and then responded with,”Oh I just had sex, I had an orgasm, a good one. It was very good.”

“But was it fulfilling and gourmet?”

“Yes, yes I think it was. Maybe it was not exactly as gourmet as you are speaking of, but it was awesome.”

“Did it fill your whole body with rapture? Were you tingly and full of energy for days to come or did you grow tired and the orgasmic feeling passed through you within a few hours?”

A confused look came upon her face.

Orgasm Is Mandatory For A Woman To Live an Abundant, Happy & Healthy Life

Here is the problem: this world is suffering from the majority of women not having real orgasms, shit most women don’t even have orgasms at all, they fake them, they hide out in their minds and they grow bitter toward life.

Those who do have an orgasm normally rely on a clitorial quick fix or tighten their bodies up so much during an orgasm that it is short lived and never fills their whole being; body, heart and soul.

underfucked3

They lack the orgasmic rapture that they need. Orgasm is mandatory for a woman to live an abundant, happy, healthy, full life. And not just any old orgasm will do this. The deeper, more penetrating an orgasm, the more life and creative energy, love and surrender a woman will bring to the world. To you.

  • When her emotions become muted and she is closed, lacking expression toward life she is close to running on empty in her orgasmic bank account.
  • When she is overly hateful or stuck in depression, full of what seems to be crazy hormonal ups and downs she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account.
  • When she lays down and has sex but is indifferent to what happens in the bedroom or cannot share her desires, her boundaries and her fears she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account and this is where the trouble resides.

The Darkness of Pussy Frustration

Worse yet, she won’t tell you the truth about what is going on because she herself does not understand. Even if she has a clue her voice will be seized by the darkness of her pussy frustration and her ego will have hold of her so strongly that she won’t be capable of vocalizing the unspeakable to you.That unspeakable being that she needs to be f-ked wide open by a man that can penetrate not only her flesh but her heart and soul.

She needs his strength, his firmness, his masculine energy to be unleashed in her at a cellular level and TAKE her beyond the point of no return and right into the heavens of rapture. Only at this level can she trust her man and allow herself once again to be seen.

underfucked2

As Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex states,

“Running on empty is not what you want your woman to be, unless you like irritability, impatience, hypersensitivity, and for everything to be your fault. Because in the space between what she asks for and what she really wants, resentment will begin to fester. And you, sir, will be the one she blames.

Find out what she is hungry for, and give it to her. Never accept her first answer. Ask again. And again. Make it a part of your game plan to prod and push until she releases what she is withholding and her desire comes flying out. At first, her desire might sound like anger. She may need to blow off steam. Don’t take it personally, even if she says hurtful things.

“Keep asking until you feel her true desire release. You will feel it in your body when she finally lets go. Regardless of how much resistance she has, don’t stop asking until you feel it. You are helping her unravel a lifetime of conditioning – old beliefs and habits and rules that are suffocating the bright, lovely, sexy woman within.

That’s the woman you want to be with. So if you have to ask all night, ask all night. You’ll know it when she finally speaks her desire because you will be able to feel it, landing with a satisfying *thunk in your body.

“Then give it to her, and you’ll be giving her the thing she never thought she could get: not just the desire, but approval for having the desire at all. ”

Women: Ask For What You Sexually Want & Need

What Nicole is stating here is the powerful truth and it is hard to understand for many men because men have the ability to state what they need or want clearly most of the time. Men have also been raised differently then women and do not have the same shame placed upon them for wanting or needing sex.

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It is expected that a man craves, thinks about and will ask for sex. It is common thought in many marriages and in society that it is the woman’s place “to make sure to keep her man happy, else he will surely stray and find it somewhere else” but for a woman to be open about her cravings labels her a whore or slut.

Even if we are not aware of this low grade consciousness and believe ourselves to be above this sort of thinking, the consciousness and programs still exist for all of us. They lay there in the covers of darkness within our psyche and if we are women they make themselves known pretty quickly as soon as we face our undernourished needs.

Men:

By Kendal Williams

——

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Share Your Thoughts

  • Bi Trexual

    Isn’t this like hysteria? The guys that said wandering uterus made women crazy and the only way to cure it is fucking? Lol

  • Michael Kisil

    Who are the artists of the paintings in this article? Escpecially the last painting.
    Thanks,

  • pr

    “Orgasms are like pizza. When it’s good, it’s great, and when it’s bad, well, it’s still pretty good.”

  • Freedom

    I would like to vomit on her face, its important because it gives me an orgasm.

  • OTHERS + SHORT-CUMMINGS / ORGASMS = LAME/BLAME

    The sum of one’s happiness is solely the province of the
    seeker of happiness.
    If you fail to arrive
    in this happy kingdom or queendom, it is solely your own failing, fault, or
    choice.
    If anyone IS to blame for unhappiness, feel free to blame
    yourself.
    The entire universe (as you know it) starts and ends with
    you, so get used to it.
    You are the sole singularity in the entire panoply; an
    extravagantly indulgent genesis of creation: your life.
    If it fails to meet your expectations, come up with better
    expectations.
    The universe is already perfect, and gives all to any that
    ask.
    We require nothing from others to arrive in the garden of
    Eden, eating the fruit that either
    awakens or stupefies us: our choice.
    Blaming ones’ own man/woman for ones’ own short-comings/short-cummings
    is like blaming the mirror for the booger on your own nose.
    Clear the snotty baggage out of your own soul, and love your
    lover for who they are, not for who you are not.
    You can give it, and you can take it.
    Give it, or come get it.
    There are the given and there are the taken.
    The universe is omni-sexual: You can have your fuck whatever
    way you like.
    Take happiness in what you give, take pleasure in what you
    receive.
    When the soul and its many openings, opens wide to
    extravagant ecstasies and exquisite agonies, the big “O” will take care of
    itself.
    -marco z.

  • Zenbox

    This article is written by a professional writer, so it is important that she spark controversy which prompts readers to comment and discuss.(thereby proving her relevance and marketability to those that keep track of these numbers )

    I also felt that she was setting people up to feel inadequate by stating that only gourmet orgasms count. but i realize that she is too smart to actually believe in that statement and understands that it is unprovable. The author knows that making outrageous or polarizing statements will compel us readers to comment.

    Any orgasm is a GREAT orgasm. some are greater than others

  • Kosho

    Sounds to me like a cock talking …

  • Chrystal Jinjoe

    Although positive sexual perceptions and ones ability and quality of sharing sex with another is very important in general, I fail to understand how having a soul-shuddering orgasm has been likened to the only way a woman can experience fulfillment and happiness in life.
    I believe a great orgasm can lead to the experience of body/spirit energy connection, I do not think it is the only way to experience this.
    Happiness is subjective to ones perceptions on many faculties of life not just sexuality and not excluding those not active participants in heterosexual activity, such as homosexuals, sexually inactive early pubescent adolescents, singles and elderly individuals who, in certain cases no longer have a desire for this connection.
    I consider myself to be a very sexually liberated individual and open to many experiences in this regard, but highlighting the orgasm in this regard did not resignate with me.

    • I see your perspective Chrystal! While you’re right about having soul-shuddering orgasms being not the only way to sublime happiness, I will say that once you experience it, not having it would be tremendously unfulfilling!

  • Chrystal Jinjoe

    Although having a healthy relationship with your sexuality which includes your perceptions of sexuality and how you choose to share this with another, is very important. I fail to understand the conclusion that one must regularly experience a soul-shuddering orgasm to feel happy and fulfilled as a human being or be connected to your femininity as a whole. While wild orgasms are exceptionally wonderful and I believe is one way to connect to our oneness between our bodies and spirit, I’m not sure it is the only way to such an experience. To me the article suggests that the only individuals destined to reach the potential of said happiness are those who are in the hetero community, excluding homosexuals, singles, sexually inactive early pubescent adolescents (I was 12, not probably the best time to be indulging in my awakened desires) and the elderly who in certain cases, no longer desire this physical connection with another.
    In my opinion, happiness is subjective to ones perceptions on many faculties of life.

  • Jessica Lyn Jewell

    I love the idea behind this article but I feel it excludes many women ~ as a single lesbian I’m totally excluded here ~ I don’t need a man to penetrate me to live a happy, fulfilling life ~ and I don’t need a masculine girlfriend either ~ why such a bias towards standard hetero relationships when so many women don’t fall into this category? why make it seem like single ladies are missing something vital to our well-being? The focus here is just too narrow and definitely not all-inclusive. I do love and value your articles and the work you do, just not this particular one…

    • Japedo Moonson

      If this doesn’t apply to you then why did you even comment? “Oh this isn’t about me!!! I don’t like it!” Lame – She is awesome and this is an all too needed testimony that needs to be more understood by most. not enough of these simple truths are touched on enough – thank you! <3

    • Dette

      does it work for you if you replace man for person?

    • luvs2dance

      Im not a lesbian and I dont need men for an epic orgasm either. I felt the same thing from this article.

    • It might better this article if a disclaimer included that she meant women in her feminine essence and man as a masculine essence (whether or not that person has a penis!).

  • Nadine Lee

    My favourite osho quote so much truth: “When two lovers are making love & if they are both no self, then orgasm happens. then your body energy, your whole being loses all identity – they are no more them selves, they have fallen into the absence . ”
    Sexuality is not a goal driven thing …. orgasm is not the goal!

    • Fortunately Nadine, orgasm and sexuality are not conjoined!

  • CharmedGeek

    I’m in two minds about this article. On the one hand I do think that some women (and men) would benefit from deeper orgasms, but on the other hand I resent the implication that you HAVE to have these ‘gourmet’ orgasms in order to be happy in life. I call bullshit- orgasming is not the be-all and end-all of sex, and to assume it is puts unfair pressure on the participants who would then feel like failures if their partner was unable to come. Better to just enjoy each other and have fun rather that striving for that orgasm.

    Finally, the quote given is, to me anyway, giving the message to men that no doesn’t mean no. It’s basically saying ‘if she says she’s not in the mood, keep pressuring her until she gives in and lets you fuck her’. Is that really the right message to be sending anyone??

    • Pat Tuh

      Orgasms are literally the end-all of sex, for at least a couple minutes anyway. No one’s assuming anything here. Everybody knows, whether they want to admit it or not, that there is a large mental part of having awesome orgasms, for both parties. If your failing you need more practice or need to be more honest with yourself and your partner, which is part of the message here. I mean what are you trying to do in bed if not make your partner go nuts. And she’s not talking about a man pressuring the woman for sex, that’s not the message at all. Rather, him pushing to know what she really wants when they have sex. Furthermore I feel like this would be a conversation to be had after love making.

    • While you’re right that having a deep and profound orgasm isn’t the only source of sublime happiness, I will say that experiencing a mind-blowing, whole-bodied, deeply penetrating orgasm and then not experiencing it again would definitely leave you utterly discontent and unfulfilled.

      • Florent

        I don’t want to add to the polemic here, but does it mean only hung men can help a woman achieve it?

      • Florent

        I don’t want to add to the polemic here, but does that mean that only hung men can help women achieve it? Lol, because even average-sized guys are fucked then.

      • Florent

        I don’t understand why my comment doesn’t appear when I post it. No freedom of expression?

      • Florent

        You’re totally right!

  • Yrie

    Beautiful yet painful read…including comments..it seems to me as if the whole world knows these mind blowing orgasms, the whole world but me 🙁 I wish this material was out when I was younger. I wish I fought against religious parental “terror”. I wish I experienced good lovemaking ..or heck, any sex prior to getting married young. And how I wish my husband experienced sex himself, prior to getting married…because it just doesnt work. 🙁 no chemistry, no enjoyment, no orgasm and no desire and it has been like this since day one. By now I have given up and retreated into my shell. It is not that I am frigid..I can give myself amazing orgasms for sure and not shy or timid at all.. but I long for this experience with a Man and I fantasise day and night, and the longing is so strong, I often cry half night into my pillow just to begin another dry and empty day again. I sometimes wonder if death and afterlife will make it up to me, some kind of a divine realm where I finally get to experience this rapturous joy, or sexual joy at all. Until then, I remain in a bone dry and sexually frozen marriage – a mom just cannot leave an otherwise good husband and dad for wanting to get finally f**ed good first time in her life…Enjoy your orgasms people, enjoy partnership, experimenting and joy..some of us would happily give up the remainder of their lives for this..and I am being serious.

    • surprise_act

      Maybe a little bit strange to say yrie but the way you talk about the aspects of sex you DONT experience makes you “sound” sexy! Im sure that given the right situation and person you canbe a lot …lot of fun!

      Greets from holland..

    • tunie

      Suggestions, for what they’re worth:
      First, read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If that doesn’t work then remember, you are free to divorce and find a more willing, compatible life partner. If your current husband can’t be bothered to improve himself, to show he cares for you, why are you there? Leave. Meet someone who wants to be with you and shows it! Good luck!

    • Yrie, I know of a Tantric Awakening massage experience that teaches you how to have profound and powerful whole-bodied orgasms. Message me

  • Krissy Jones

    I agree with this article, but it think the part about asking for what you want, should be the first line. We have to quit bullshitting ourselves and our partners, and expecting them to be mind-readers. In our heart of hearts we all know what we want, SAY IT! That’s a big release in itself.

    • Unfortunately, women who speak their mind and do what they want for their own reasons (ie., sleep with whom she wants without a relationship in return) is condemned and decried in our society. It takes some powerful encouraging and emancipation for a woman to directly state her case and I work very hard to empower my girlfriends to do so. I can tell that you’re one such emancipated person and I’m deeply proud of you!

  • Ken

    I have been consitioned, like most men, and am fighting free of it. One of the ways I realized I have been repressed is that I haven’t been able to ask for what I want sexually. Part of this is I have been ashamed of it and to ask, the other thing is the assumption that because I am male, my sexual desires are already evident. I am a little kinky and a little “vanilla”. There’s no “safe” way to share my proclivities and not feel shame, as well as fight the assumptions about what I want to feel sexually fulfilled.

    I agree that women should ask for what they want sexually, and express their desires. This is also important for men.
    We BOTH need to follow these instructions.

  • V8 Splash

    Coming from a mixed cultures background male I came to realized how to achieve a cosmic orgasm with your partner, one must truly be a cheerful giving and expect nothing in return. Also one must surrender themselves to their partner. For instance, the scent of my fiancee pussy drive me crazy! Just the scent alone draws me closer to her in a physical, emotional, and spiritual connection

  • Boss Bev Billions

    I know exactly what u are talking about , your whole being feels it and it last for several days awesome feeling

  • Pingback: Slow Pussy Sucking (Only For Grown Folks) | My Tiny Secrets()

  • Ami Go

    Just believe in equality, sharing, emotional touching, talking, joking and don’t treat like her like a slave or just a sex partner. she needs a man’s patience, believe, trust etc.

  • IThinkForMyself

    I think the most important component to having, what did she call them “Gourmet Orgasms” is that the woman needs to truly trust the man. Most of us have suffered the pain of betrayal from men and hold our heart carefully. But to be truly loved you have to give yourself freely, without reserve, trusting that he values and will cherish your heart as much or more then you do.

  • Kat MC

    TRUTH !

    There would be much more Happiness in the world, less frustration and anger. We especially as women, we are being raised to ignore our own needs, to “sacrifice” ourselves on the Altar of the future Prince..well BS !

    In fact there is no bigger lie ! Like attracts Like ! Happiness attracts Happiness, and the more you will be at home with your needs, the more you will know who you are, and you will be able to give back to others.

    But there is such stubborness and close-minded people (and women especially !) that want to stay stuck. Let them 😀

    Cheers to the Happy, Free and sexy Women, proud of filling their needs in a (still!) Tabu century !

  • TableSalt

    Well my opinion might not be the most socially acceptable one, I will say that I find a lot of people turn to the more shallow side of things. They look past people they might find undesirable appearance-wise and potentially miss out on someone who could want to give them the world. And who, given the chance, could turn out to be the most beautiful person they’ve ever met.

    A really attractive guy knows that girls will go for him, so he doesn’t necessarily need or care to be invested sexually or otherwise, while an average or even lesser guy has to work on other aspects of his character to even meet potentially acceptable standards. Thus, when someone finally gives the average or lesser that opportunity, he will make damn sure to do whatever he can to keep his partner happy.

    Just don’t break his heart, because that’s how you create the assholes who stop caring.

  • thank you very much, Dami. This post though is not written by me, but by Kendal Williams. I love to feature many of the most interesting authors in their field on MTS. Thanks so much for you appriciation. Much love, Adina

  • Wendy Tobiassen

    I hate the wording in this article, why try and talk on behalf of women using male language to do so! I hate that word ‘pussy’ when used in this context, I’m sure its not a word women choose for her sacred honi. I don’t want a f++k I want deep and tantalising intimacy, exploration and juicy sensual touch, kisses, bumping and squeezing and mind blowing penetration. Put that in your pipe and smoke it

    • Bee

      I thought the word pussy was quite appropriate. I refer to my pussy as my pussy. So it seemed perfect to me, and I also liked the fact the use of the word was unabashed.

      • Louis

        The word pussy is soooo fitting for that beautiful thing between ladies (my wife’s) legs. Sounds nuch nicer and sweeter than vagina…. PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY all night long. Pussy sounds so feminine. I love it.
        Now put that in YOUR pipe and smoke that, bitch

  • Marty

    I find it hard to sympathise completly with this poor woman that only has mediocre multiple orgasms. I think it is time that woman realized that the male orgasm is not just a foregone conclusion. Yes, for the most part men generally have only one as they reach mid life, so we could indeed seek more intense and longer lasting orgasms. However, we don´t lay blame at the woman´s feet for not making us achieve an earth moving event for that one precious orgasm. Personally, I don´t always reach climax, but I still take pleasure from sex, the intimacy and all its nuances. I would rather focus on the entire event than on the conclusion.
    A woman once said these words in just such a conversation, and I quote,” we are all responsable for our own orgasms”.
    As for faking orgasms, at least you have that escape route. I have wanted to fake an orgasm or two myself before I lose my erection from a less than inspiring sexual partner. Try to explain that to a woman without hurting her feelings.
    In closing, how many men have you asked what they really want, or have you just assumed that all guys have that same old orgasm that happens on cue or sooner?

    You get out of it what you put into it.

    • very well put, marty. thanks for this great comment. adina

      • Marty

        Thank you. My pleasure.

    • Good points, Marty. Additionally, men can have the same hang-ups as women…some men also don’t want to give an answer when asked what they really want either. The whole point is that for true intimacy, full two-way communication is necessary. We ladies may need a little boost of confidence at times to divulge our darkest desires, but men also need to feel like we are interested in what they like and be asked from time to time.

    • Dylan Morisette

      is not unfair? and taken for granted? that women have the ability to have all these crazy hour long multiple orgasms and wat not. hey wat about me? id like to experience an hour long full body orgasm but no wait.. im a guy with a penis. and worried about the size of it. this is society!

  • Humility&Awareness

    All for this… just don’t forget about sexual dysfunctions in men… and for men: don’t forget about the dysfunctions in women and how to be supportive and respectful of each other.

    The literature on female sexuality is all about reaching the heights of pleasure and asking for what you want. I have gone thru a few books and they are all about “the orgasm that you deserve”, I am not against that! But for guys its a very different story. Next time if you go in the sexuality and relationship section of the book store, look thru
    the index of the books for men, they will talk about overcoming this over coming that. Especially the ones that genuinely want to help men’s sexuality. Just premature ejaculation; causes of which are too many to list is such a misunderstood topic among the masses. How can we talk about reaching the heights of orgasm without humility, and understanding how male sexuality works as well.

    Please please please, I am by no means taking the load off of men to give their ladies the best of themselves, but I am asking for understanding and self-education from the part of the ladies about how many heralds could possibly lie in the way for men. I am asking for more awareness for both sexes.

    • You are damn right, brother. We need to address both sides equally. Though I believe that the feminine way of living has been suppressed many years. Now it s seeking the light stronger then ever which to me seems to result in hardcore feminism. as always the path lays in the middle. Balance is needed. Thanks for this awesome comment of yours. Adina

  • @SarcasticSloth

    So, what kind of odd secret fetishes are you into?

  • Kristy S

    I think this article articulates an interesting place to start the exploration of deep fulfillment for the feminine, but it doesn’t go far enough into the evolution of the sexual-spiritual development of woman. First, it is clearly heavily derived from David Deida’s work, with which I am very familiar, and so it comes from the masculine’s perspective of what the feminine requires to experience fulfillment. David is a very intelligent and experienced practitioner who could very likely serve a woman in just the way this article lays out (no pun intended), but it is just not the case that a) many men can or will reach this point of “sexual/spiritual serving and adoring” of the Feminine, and more to the point, b) the premise laid out in the article is requires a woman to remain dependent upon a man. She is physically and spiritually dependent upon a partner to be capable and be desirous of providing this for her. Many of us who have been around the spiritual-path block in the last few decades can attest to the demographic skew in the population of spiritual seekers. Just do a head count at Kripalu, Omega institute, or a local meditation retreat, and you are likely to see more women than men.
    True fulfillment for the Feminine must begin with the woman, her actions and practice for herself and with herself. A woman’s exploration of her own pleasure, and the capacity to gift that to herself, is the way she reaches the deepest fulfillment. It is not until a woman can give herself her deepest desires that a man (or woman) could or would ever be able to touch that place. When we become fluent in our own pleasure, we become the irresistible guides to our men/partners, and its from this place of deep self-love that we have the capacity to leap into self-abandoning love with a partner.

    • Anna K.

      thank you. can’t agree more.

  • LolaDown

    Jill off, jill often, – be happy.

  • aeracura

    I find that, personally, my mental and physical health has shown great leaps and bounds since I was successfully able to recognize that my happiness is not centered around my sexuality or sex life.

    Some people cannot physically achieve an orgasm, amd others are a-sexual, and thats okay. To suggest that these people will less fulfilled than people who can or want to achieve an orgasm is silly, to say the least.

    It sounds like the person in your anecdote needs to find a deep and personable relationship that makes them feel safe and secure in all aspects of their life, not as you say “a good f**king”. I don’t believe this relationship even need to be romantic. Perhaps she simply needs a friend who more profoundly understands her inner desires and fears, which, unlike your own, may not concern orgasms, physical, or even emotional release.

    I feel like there are already too many people who are already self-conscious about their sexuality. To suggest to women that they may be reaching orgasm incorrectly, and that this will fundamentally deteriorate their quality of life, only furthers that self consciousness. I understand that this is suppose to be an empowering article, but until we can get away from the presumption that a female’s health, happiness, and influence is directly correlated to their sexuality I don’t think we’re really making any positive change.

    • Great points for sure. People can be made to feel sexually inadequate by their partners (knowingly or not) which furthers sexual issues and breaks down the close-knit relationship which is the foundation for successful relationship with that person.

  • Peter

    It all sounds good, but… why would a gentleman become so overly obsessed with HER needs? Not that it is bad to ask your beloved lady about her needs, but everybody got her or his own problems to solve at first. In addition, if a woman’s happiness depends on man, she will definitely hate him, even if he makes every effort in making her happy. Why? Because nobody wants to be dependent. Freedom is the only true happiness!

    • IThinkForMyself

      Peter, most men would describe Happiness as Freedom. Most women need security (even though many will not want to admit it). We are the smaller and weaker of the species, we feel safest when we are protected and provided for by a man.

  • mrsleep

    Get off the anti-depressants if you’re on them, it will help you have orgasms.

  • Mittengal

    I quit reading at the second sentence when you misidentified the meaning of PMS. I figured the rest of the article had to be just as misinforming.

  • Left/Right

    You’re using that word “gourmet.” I don’t think it means what you think it means.

    gour·met
    noun
    1.
    a connoisseur of fine food and drink; epicure.
    adjective
    2.
    of or characteristic of a gourmet, especially in involving orpurporting to involve high-quality or exotic ingredients and skilledpreparation: gourmet meals; gourmet cooking.
    3.
    elaborately equipped for the preparation of fancy, specialized, orexotic meals: a gourmet kitchen.

    • IThinkForMyself

      a gourmet orgasm feeds the soul

  • Dami Berberich

    I see I’ve found the true worship of Skyrims Diabella Goddess here haha! Love your page! Very inspirational, informational, passionate, beautiful and encouraging to be more open and free, to experience this life we have and it’s many gifts. I appreciate what you do here and enjoy your writings.

  • Lisa Bogan

    I was totally into this article but got turned off at the point where it mentioned something about women needing to get f-ed by a man. I’m guessing this article is aimed at heterosexuals and assuming queer women don’t have this problem? Or maybe ignoring us all together, as is often the case in discussions about women’s sexuality? Maybe that’s not how it was intended, but that’s how it comes off to me.

    • Justin Grantham

      I thought queer woman don’t want a man or a dick anywhere near them ?

    • zim

      So gentlemen or those in the “masculine role of the relationship” pretty sure this caters for the lesbian community. Also shes probs talking about deep penetration orgasms, either way youre going to need a penis, rubber or real.

      • Kat Kamp

        The sheer idea that one needs to have a “masculine” role in a lesbian relationship is wrong. Woman on woman sex doesn’t always involve a strap on.

  • Stephanie Athena-Marie

    I love empowering women to speak their truth, voice their desires and embody their total sensuality and sexuality. However, I find it EQUALLY as imperative that MEN do the same. As a race, we have swung from one extreme to the other. A race that worshiped women and the feminine, to a race that worships the masculine and it is now time to find the balance. It is immediately important that we set our foundation with the intention of balance between the masculine and feminine regardless of gender. This is how we will move into our futures with awareness and healing.

    • 2xRacha

      I agree with the first part of your comment but what? This culture utterly worships femininity. The female body, female beauty, female sexuality, female empowerment. Some of it goes to harmful extremes, such as the idealization of female bodies, but it’s not all bad, like the emphasis on education and success for young girls.

      There is no worship of the masculine; male bodies and male sexuality are mostly feared and not admired or valued. I think we’d all be better off if they were, because if boys felt they had intrinsic worth and believed they were beautiful, they wouldn’t feel the need to prove themselves by dominating others.

      • In response to your response…society worships ONE view of femininity…not all. Only the one that conforms with the idol worship of the models and such shoved in everyone’s faces. So no, femininity is NOT worshiped…having the body of a prepubescent male with disproportionate breasts and butts is. True worship of femininity would be embracing females that are real…not ones that require (usually but not always) starvation and fitting into any specific size.

        • daniel mirante

          “having the body of a prepubescent male with disproportionate breasts and butts is”

          I get that there are unhealthy photoshopped ‘ideal’ out there, which is damaging. But there are also many, many women (and men) who are naturally slender. Why is it always presumed slender people are ‘starving’ themselves?

  • Sexual repression is the root cause of everything you wrote about above. Check this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qijzr4Fm_IM

  • Anne Breiehagen

    I recommend orgasmic meditation to reconnect with your orgasm and climax. Check it out here: http://www.onetaste.us

  • fubar

    Sound like a bunch of miserable people blaming their life on the lack of good sex. Get real.

  • Garrett K

    Why?

    • TFYFWYA

      because framing the whole thing as “getting fucked” is pretty much the least appealing way to describe sex I’ve ever heard. “Sounds like you need to be properly f-ked my dear” sounds like some kind of male fantasy version of the conversations women have with each other. The whole article is ridiculous, male-centric, and gross.

      • Hi, I read this as a male. At first I thought, hang on, this is good, finally we’re talking about full body release. Then I realised that the article just isn’t going deep enough. That it’s all going to sound like a pretty weak excuse to put a few link-bait words, that if I send this to people who would, regularly, agree with me on this topic, they’ll be turned off by the way it’s being discussed.

        I realised that the types of conversations I would have afterwards would be tainted by the way this article was written, and it would take a lot of filtering/altering and making myself understood and that, ultimately, it just wouldn’t be worth it to go “read this” and then try to “patch things up” later.

        It’s a case of a nice concept being let down by writing — things such as this have been discussed at much greater detail by such originators as Wilhelm Reich and Alexander Lowen, and later, in our ages, people like Shantam Nityama. And much more carefully / in a more caring fashion too.

        I know that the author didn’t want to write a book or a long essay about it, and that it was probably beneficial for some to read this (even, ultimately, mind-blowing and life-changing), but we’re travelling in extremely dangerous waters here – and with extreme prejudice.

        To the author, I like what you did, it’s hard to pull an article like this off without ruffling a few (or all) feathers. I also hope you’ll read your article and then start looking into The Karezza Method, and also Shantam Nityama’s lifework. I know people will read articles easier if you drop the f-bombs and fun slang for genitals, and I really do get what you’re trying to communicate, but I hope you’ll proceed way deeper to this topic next time.

        Also, as a man,I’m going to say one more thing. These two sentences:
        “Men have also been raised differently then women and do not have the same shame placed upon them for wanting or needing sex. It is expected that a man craves, thinks about and will ask for sex.”

        Are absolutely ridiculous. Think about what you’re writing here – you’re talking about how women might have sex, but that it’ll only be skin-deep (i.e., genital-to-genital friction until one or both “get off”). I’m not sure how it escaped you, but men have been trained to want that friction, and it is a rare man indeed who is able to actually voice their need for a body-mind-SOUL connection when it comes to making love. We’re all trained to fuck like rabbits and to brag about our accomplishments in an almost cartoon-like grotesque way (“wow man we did it for 30 years, she bled to death, my cock destroys universes”), and fuck with as much of a non-vocal / non-facial expression way as possible ( male pornstars in heterosexual porn ), that it was actually mind-blowing to realise, that for instance, on Reddit, there was a thread where a man was, seriously, asking if “it’s ok” that he’s vocal and breathes deeply while him and her are together. He thought, maybe there’s a problem here. Every single woman on the thread replied with “yes, it’s weird, if by weird, you mean absolutely awesome, never stop doing it, I wish men made more sound instead of pretending they’re shooting a porn-film for the pleasure of other men, who don’t want to hear the man enjoying himself” (paraphrased)..

        So, let me kind of repeat myself like the broken record I am, you wrote an article about women needing a full-on mind-body-soul connection, not just funky friction, and that this need is brainwashed out of women, and then said “yeah, men are ok, they’re not broken” as if we automatically, intuitively know how to reach further than the 3 minute friction followed by ejac? That’s pretty rich.

        I know what I just did there is a simplified straw-man argument and that’s not at all what you said, but seriously, could we at least communicate this need for true conscious connection between a woman and a man, a true mind-body-soul-connection, and that both “sides” need to let go and be not afraid to delve deeper into themselves together?

        Also, while some of you might have seen the recent film Don Jon, please also check out Bliss, an older film (1997). I sometimes wonder how a film like that could be even made, since it’s starting to get to the bottom of things, and is the less of “light comedy” that Don Jon was, by a long shot.

  • 1962galaxy500fordconvertable

    I just put in a rather long comment. where did it go???????????????//

  • 1962galaxy500fordconvertable

    I was with a girl for the 1st time when she was 21 and I was 28. I got in the saddle and 3 minutes later she ok all done
    . I said what? I asked if she had ever had more than 1 orgasm before, she replied no. I said the guys u had sex with just used and that was all. a woman can have up to 100 orgasm in 1 night, not all big nes but a good number. she no theycan’t I said let me know when u get to 20. she lost count at 12 just the big ones. she had never been kissed belw before. that really set her off, her legs flew into the air shaking at one point. I could have had my orgasm sooner but I held back, and he got into what I call his I want to play mode, I gave her so much pleasure that after 4hrs. I ran my hand over her body w/o touching it. she bent up off the sheet to try to reach my hand when I got over her breast. she was a limp rag doll. u see I cared more about giving her pleasure than I did mine which didn’t happen by the way. I had to teach her how to take a cock in her mouth. I went very slowly. I said I don’t want u to get afraid of having him in there. teaching her to take him all the way down her throat took time but in the end she actually liked it very much. I have an elephant cock. 9 inches, and thick. my cock head corona measurres 4-1/2 inches around in normal use so at time of release he is probably 10-101/2 in long and 5-1/2 around I am not lying she measured him with a paper tape. I took 30min to get inside her to the bottom and 30 min back. only then we we start regular strokes but slow. she wanted it faster I said the rabbit lost, remember. oh yeah. she wa sore for 3 days, and I kept the foreplay up the whole time. it takes time to warm up. sure we had times when we had quickies, but 3-4hr ones were frequent. I trained her to grab him and hold on to him, and I would wait and say harder. now let go! boing! after a half hour of that she didn’t have to be told. she had a snapping pussy from that day on. even after 3 kids she still had it. we are not all insensitive to our partners needs and wants. I would pinch her nipple and she would say ouch that hurts. I said, pain is peasure pleasure I pain pain and pleaure are one sometimes. I said look hen u lost your virginity what was the 1st sensation u had? pain she said. and I said but that pain melted into your body after a little while it didn’t go away. it became part of your pleaure because it had raised your vibrational level to a frequency that was more atuned to pleasure. same thing with a little pain during sex. a pinch nipple a sucked labia, or clit, or a suck nipple that had been pinched before an was now very sensitive so that when I just brushed my lips up it it felt great. it didn’t hurt then. no. pain and pleasure are 1 sometimes, and if u r having an orgasm an I suck on your clit a little harder it just makes the feeling, one at the small of the back when u go out u put perfume or whatever behind your ears. that’s ok for a day thing, but if u want every guy at the bar after u, u do it the old way. one behind each ear, one under each breast one at the small of the back, and one on either side of your mound of venus. your own body heat will spread that aroma thruout the where ever u r. suttle perfume, not a big strong one. and if yo dance well the guy who is dancing alongside, in back of, in front of u, and every one else including lots of women will not be unaffected by your caring for your body. They will wait for u to come back again. don’t go home that 1st night w/1 oh no….make them hunger for your return, and go somewhere else the next time. then they (women included) will be missing u. so that when u go back the next time in the same condition u used the week before at the other place, and there 2 weks earlier, will be drooling and then it is who ever you want! helpful hint no1

  • Katlyn Willis

    I wish I could understand what my desires are … I just don’t know any more..

  • TFYFWYA

    I love sex but reading this article turned me off enough that I don’t think I’ll be able to have an orgasm for about 6 months. GROSS, GROSS, GROSS.

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  • null

    This makes me cry. It really gets to the point. Displacement. I’ve been so confused about my rage towards my partner. But this helps me get to what is actually bothering me on a subconscious level. *crying*

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  • alex durely

    My wife was always complaining about not being satisfied. I told her I’d do what it takes but it was never good enough. Now she’s threatening divorce. I think she may have betrayed my trust and cheated on me. I have made the effort to communicate but she is just never happy. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do.

    • Bob Cho

      No offense, but she deserves to die alone. Just saying. If you entirely base the reason for leaving because sex is not fulfilling enough… fuckin’ whores.

  • Christine

    This hits home on so many points. A great read for all consenting adults and an area that needs a lot more time, attention and exploration. Thanks for bringing it to the masses!

  • Troy Ygnacio Soriano

    one of the most important posts I’ve ever seen. the authors have real and abiding love for women and for healing in general. I’m gonna repost the heck out of this. because I want the women in my life to have all the options for feeling good that they want, desire or need! really cool post.

  • Derek

    Way to just put it out there with no candy coating. Fantastic

    • yes straight forward! thanks derek. much love, adina

  • Maggie V

    How are there zero comments?
    This should be required reading for everyone. Period.
    Thank you for writing this.
    I’m starting a gourmet orgasm revolution.
    No more junk food sex!

    • I m with u beauty. lets start the revolution with us. much love, adina

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