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Are You In A Sacred Relationship?

Peter Paul Rubens

About Me

Lover of Life, Love & Sensuality. Optimist. Believer. Natural Beauty Advocate. Minimalist. Living life outside the box; where the magic happens.

As we enter into a new age we begin to understand that relationships are about creative partnerships. They are about soul bonding, experiencing the self and the self as other, and about co-creating.

The following article has been written by Celia Fenn. It touched me on many levels as I have experienced many of these same shifts in my own relationship. Celia looks at these shifts from, an often overlooked, metaphysical perspective. Enjoy!


Relationships are one of the key areas where the tidal wave of change is being most intensely felt. Maybe this is because the need to relate and to be loved and accepted is such a key human need. And it has become a place where old energies need to be released to allow for new forms and structures.


The old paradigm of relating is..

.. often based on physical attraction or magnetism.

The concept of “chemistry”, “love at first sight” and many other romantic concepts fostered by endless movies and novels was the motivating force.

#1 It was all about what you looked like

And this was accompanied by whole industries to ensure that you stayed youthful, slim and sexually attractive in order to ensure that you would “attract” a suitable partner.

This, it was argued, was nature’s way, and the best looking humans attracted a partner and reproduced their genes. Well, maybe so. But human relationships are not just about reproduction. They no longer need to be. There are enough people on the planet to allow us to begin to remodel relationships as about something other than sex and reproduction.

#2 It was all about predetermined roles

Also, when two people enter into a conventional marriage, the force of the archetypal energy is often so strong that they are almost compelled into predetermined roles.

Many people who swore they would never end up replicating their parents marriages, did just that. Why? Because despite good intentions, the archetypal impetus of the marriage system, built up over thousands of years, tends to take over and create the reality.

Men and women fall into “provider” and “nurturer” roles, or they enter into power games to see who can dominate and who will submit. Or they play out victim, abuser, rescuer dramas.

And quite often, they pattern these dramas on their parental models.

These patterns are learned in childhood, as the child observes the parents in their dance of relationship, and the subconscious records all the details for future reference.

In Metaphysics we call this the “Inner Child Drama” and it contains all the unresolved issues of both that family experience, and probably many past life family experiences where the soul has played out all the roles in the “family drama”.

As we enter into a new age..
.. we begin to understand that relationships are about creative partnerships. They are about soul bonding, experiencing the self and the self as other, and about co-creating. They are not prisons, and were never meant to be. They are about FEELINGS. Being able to share and communicate the full spectrum of feelings to and with another person. And this can be done within the parameters of loving parental and family relationship, but there are many other ways that this can also be explored and enjoyed.


The new forms of partnership are very different. They are based on different criteria and needs, and are played out in different ways:

#1 Soul Resonance rather than Physical Attraction

People will be attracted to each other on the multi-dimensional or soul level, rather than the physical.

More and more people are looking for a “Soulmate”. Whatever beliefs we might hold about whether or not soulmates exist, it does seem that there is a deep longing in most people to blend energies with a compatible soul.

And it is at the level of the soul that there must be resonance and “compatibility”.

This does not mean that the partners will agree on everything. In fact, if they did the relationship would probably not work. Rather there will be a healthy balance of agreement and disagreement.

#2 People in sacred relationships operate from the heart

and will always allow their partner to be exactly who or what he or she is.

They will not need to change the person or make them “better” or rescue them or provide for them.

They will share with them and support them in their adventure of growth and self-exploration, and expect the same in return.

But there will be an “allowing” and a freedom that will enable each partner to grow and to blossom into their full potential within the relationship.

#3 Equality in the Partnership – Keeping the Balance

In a multi-dimensional relationships it is essential to keep the balance between the partners. There needs to be complete equality in the relationship.

Old relationship patterns of dominance, control and attachment have to be released.

If one partner dominates or controls the other, then an imbalance is created that will undermine the relationship.

Anger will arise that will have no outlet for expression, since it will be assumed that this is the pattern for the relationship.

#4 Empowerment over disempowerment in sacred relationships

In sacred relationships..

.. each partner consciously watches to ensure that they are neither disempowered nor that they disempower the other. Rather, they look for ways of empowering themselves and their partner in positive ways.

#5 No emotional neediness, no seeking for approval

When there is no dominance of one by the other, and there is an allowing of what the other person is, then there is no reason for the approval seeking behaviour that is so often part of old energy relationships, where one partner constantly seeks the approval of the other.

There is no emotional neediness or fear, just acceptance and love.

#6 Letting go when it is needed

And, if the relationship reaches its end, then there must be a willingness to let go, and not be attached to that particular relationship.

Even soul resonant relationships may end when the partners outgrow each other or find the need to explore who they are in other ways and directions.

And then the best thing to do is let go, allowing each of the partners to grow into new and different energies. And to allow the sadness that is felt when something ends, but also the anticipation as something new begins. Even if that something is a period of aloneness, as we adjust to the new person we are becoming.

#7 Allowing the Full Spectrum of Feelings

This will probably be one of the most difficult things for us to negotiate in the future. So many of us believe that a “good” relationship is one in which you are always positive and happy and joyful. Where the other person always makes you feel good about yourself.

But, in the multi-dimensional state, relationships are about self-exploration and growth. And your partner may need to challenge you in order to help you to grow, or you may need to challenge them.

This challenge may include playing out anger and frustration, and allowing the partner to be in these emotions and feelings without feeling personally threatened, or that the relationship is threatened.

Multi-dimensional relationships will always play through the full spectrum of feelings – not only the positive ones.

The challenge, for us, is to allow these darker energies and to handle them in a creative and compassionate way, knowing that if so handled they will help us to grow and experience ever more of who and what we are in this particular relationship.

The importance again, is balance. Too much negativity, and the relationship will swing into negativity and become violent and destructive. Too much positivity, and the creative tension that enables growth is unlikely to be there and the relationship will probably stagnate.

#8 Communicate

The important thing to remember in the new multi-dimensional relationships is that they are primarily adventures of self-exploration in which we discover ourselves through relating and creating with another being.

So there are two key elements that need to be always present. The first is COMMUNICATE. In whatever way works best for you.

There are many ways to communicate in a multi-dimensional relationship, from talking to telepathy, and they can all be explored and played with creatively.

But where two people are constantly communicating, they are expressing themselves and discovering themselves through what they express.

#9 Co-Create

The second key is CO-CREATE. There must be a reason for the partnership. Together you must be creating something, even if it is only your own spiritual growth.

But, in order for a sacred relationship to flourish, there must be a place for all that wonderful higher frequency creativity to find expression on the physical level.

And it may even be that the creative communication that happens between partners will enable and empower each of the partners in their own creative projects. The creativity does not have to be expressed in co-dependent ways, but is used as empowerment for each person’s individual creative projects and exercises.

Written by Celia Fenn. Learn more about her work here. / Art: Peter Paul Rubens

What are your thoughts on this new way of relating to each other? Are you in a Sacred Relationship?

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[…] yet, by being attentive, we can turn penetration into a sacred ritual. We can create a space where physical union leads to powerful energetic merging, giving both lovers […]

Dalbir Sekhon
Dalbir Sekhon
7 years ago

It was a true description of a spiritual relationship. I liked it a lot.
But i have a different view point on one aspect i.e. expecting the same from your partner is not love. Love is a giving kind of thing, taking or expecting is not involved in it at all.

Alahna Dunbar
Alahna Dunbar
8 years ago

I really enjoyed reading this article and have gained a lot of insight from it. In my current relationship, we embody so much of the sacred union, naturally. It’s really interesting to see the strength of our relationship reflected in this article. And it’s also so helpful to see which aspects of the sacred union could be improved within my own relationship in order to make it stronger. However, I don’t know how I feel about the idea that you can’t be too attached to your relationship. If there was no attachment emotional attachment (or even spiritual), then what would be the motivation for continuing to grow, even through periods of difficulty? I think you must have some level of attachment in order for there to be a relationship, at all.

Audrey at HeatherStrang.com
Audrey at HeatherStrang.com
9 years ago

I love this post, and I love that more and more people are finding their ways into sacred relationships. Heather Strang actually has a group session coming up on August 5th about just this, to help clear out to blocks and find your true love, bring the sexy back, and allow you true love to come to you. https://bit.ly/WKV2tz
I remember the day when I realized that lost site what I thought my (now) husband looked and acted liked, and totally took on #1 in this list of the multidimensional relationship. It was such a grand feeling and that was when I knew we had fallen in love (after only 1 month of knowing each other, but time is no longer relevant). Our partnership is HUGE to us, we have always been equals to each other and do everything we can to help the other be empowered in all they want to do or achieve. It is just such an amazing life that we create with each other and I can’t wait for more people to experience this kind of love and relationship! Thank you for sharing this piece with us!

Mary Samantha
Mary Samantha
9 years ago

It would be great to have further advice for when those of us who have agreed to be in a sacred divine union experience the frustration of although some may uphold the IDEAL. what happens when one partner loses the plot or is not as committed to the the original agreed partnership? WHat about when one partner is working really hard and the other has dug in heals and makes every possible opportunity for growth in to a debate, a semantic argument, a defensive shut down. IS that the point to learn from or is the relationship and its stagnation then something to walk away from?

Sarika J
9 years ago

This article really articulates key trends, especially as we’re moving into the Golden Age of relationships. There is so much potential, as we see divine feminine and masculine energies combining, especially through sacred relationships. I am really fascinated with the new world that can be co-created through these unions.


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