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How To Give A Yoni Massage: 12 Crucial Steps To Make It Life-Changing For Her

Woman pleased after receiving a yoni massage

About Me

Jonti has worked for over 12 years in the field of Tantra, expanding sexual experience and consciousness. Jonti offers workshops, talks, private and group lessons in the field of sexuality & sensuality. He assists singles, couples and groups in healing, creating a deeper connection, intimacy, pleasure and the magic between sex and spirituality.

“Yoni Massage is an experience of deep pleasure, intimacy and connection. It is a way of honoring your lover and giving her a gift of intimacy and beauty..”

Giving a pussy massage to a woman allows her to fully let go into the experience. There’s a deep expectation of reciprocation when it comes to sex. This often prevents women going deeply and fully into pleasure. When she knows that nothing is expected from her, that this is absolutely about her pleasure, you’re giving her the space for the fullest possible experience.

Preparation Is Key: 6 Important Facts To Take Care Of Before The Yoni Massage

The first step in giving your lover this beautiful gift is CREATING THE SPACE. This is an expression of love, it says that you are important to each other. It’s also about creating an intention. This is a time of togetherness, of pleasure. You come into the space to share something special, creating a space allows the experience to be different.

#1 The Right Temperature

The physical elements of the space can be simple or more creative and complex. Warmth is vital. If you’re not warm you cannot relax. I can’t emphasize this enough. It’s so simple, but one of the most aspects of any sensual experience.

#2 The Right Ambiance

You need light, not bright light, not a spotlight, so if you’re going to light candles make sure there are plenty.

#3 The Right Sound

Music can add to the experience, no music with words. Not your favorite love songs, you’ll be singing the songs in your head and you’re not present.

#4 The Right Lubricant

Lubricant is absolutely necessary for the Yoni Massage. What’s important about your choice of lubricant is that it’s as plain as possible and stays on the skin. The tissues of your Yoni are sensitive, the purer the product the better for you.

#5 The Right Coziness

Towels, cushions, blankets, snacks, whatever else you want for comfort. The space creates a cocoon for your sharing and pleasure. Every time you do this you add to the fabric of intimacy between you and your partner.

#6 The Right Mindset

One of the most important principles of pleasure is GETTING OUT OF THE GOAL. Unfortunately when orgasm rather than pleasure becomes the goal of any sexual experience we miss out on so many pleasure possibilities.

Being present in the moment allows for us to experience amazing feelings, sensations and emotions.

Yoni Massage is not always about orgasm. This is so important I’ll say it again. Yoni Massage is not always about orgasm. It’s about pleasure.

Communication about what you’re feeling is vital. Think about doing this after the massage. If you’re constantly talking and giving feedback to your partner you can’t let go fully into the experience. Make a time to do a massage, communicating about what your partner is experiencing. For the deepest pleasure allow yourself to let go as deeply as you can.

Get comfortable. If you’re not comfortable you’re not going to relax into the pleasure. As the person doing the massage, if you’re not comfortable you lose interest and don’t want to be there. Sitting between your partner’s legs is a good position for a Yoni Massage, whatever way do it, get comfortable.

The 12 Crucial Steps To A Deeply Fulfilling Yoni Massage

How To Give A Yoni Massage

Step 1: Be Patient When Giving A Pussy Massage

To reach higher states of pleasure takes time. A woman’s sexual fire needs nurturing, enjoy each step along this journey. Allow her to feel the sensations, to savour the feelings.

Step 2: Connect With Her

Begin the massage by putting one hand on your partner’s heart centre, in the middle of her chest, one hand on her yoni. Let your hands go soft, sink into her body. Breathe, connect. Take the time to settle into each other.

Step 3: Add Lubricant & Move In Circles

Spread some lubricant over her yoni. With your hand on her yoni, slide your fingers just over her pubic bone, make firm circles with your fingertips.

Step 4: Stroke, Circle, Squeeze

Using your thumbs or index fingers, stroke up and down in her groin crease, softly squeezing her lips together. You can alternate, one side strokes up, the other down. Make circles with your fingertips on the same path, then gently squeeze her lips together. Turn your hands sideways, hold her lips between your fingers and slide up and down, holding her lips between your fingers and thumbs. Stroke with one finger, from the top of her yoni, down between the outer and inner lips, a few strokes on one side, a few on the other side. Branches of the clitoral nerves run here, on some women these can raise to form almost another set of lips. Make a circle on the same pathway, clockwise, anti-clockwise.

Remember to touch slowly and gently, allowing her fire to begin to rise.

Step 5: Include The Perineum

With one finger, stroke down from her pubic bone, between her lips, over her clit, between her inner lips, over the opening of her yoni to the perineum. The perineum, the area between her yoni and anus, is very sensitive, filled with nerves. It can actually trigger it’s own orgasm.

Continue this stroke for up to 2 minutes, don’t go harder, don’t go faster. This is a good general rule for this part of the massage. Relax. Enjoy the sensation of touching your lover, watching the beauty of her yoni, watching her body respond.

Step 6: Include The Urethra

Between her clit and yoni opening is a pad of flesh where the urethra is. Sometimes it’s narrow, sometimes it’s wider. This is the external stimulation point for the G-Spot. If you feel a bone behind where you’re rubbing, you’re in the right place. Put gentle pressure with the tip of your finger, rub incircles, across this area.

Step 7: Include The Clitoris

How To Give A Yoni Massage

Then put two fingers on either side of the hood of her clit, stroke up and down, one up, one down, gently squeeze her clit between your fingers. With one fingertip on the head of her clit, FEATHERLIGHT, make circles, stroke up and down, across.

The letters of the alphabet are awesome on her clit, the most intense sensations coming from M, W and Z.

Step 8: The Entrance Of The Yoni

Slowly circle the entrance of her yoni with one finger, allow her to draw you in. Inside her yoni is a world of pleasure, once again, slowly.

Many women experience very little of what’s possible because men are so often in a hurry to get somewhere, make something happen.

The response of her body will show you how much is happening. And when you talk afterwards you’ll be amazed at what she felt from this gentle slow gift.

Step 9: The Mystical G-Spot

Make small circles on the upper wall of her yoni, each one going deeper inside: This is right on her G-Spot.

The G-Spot is a gland that has many ducts. It’s connected to her fertility, her hormone balance and fluid that can be ejaculated.

This gland is on the upper wall of her yoni. As it becomes aroused, which it will from all the external stimulation, you’ll feel the skin under your fingers change texture, it becomes corrugated, like corduroy. It will bulge down slightly, about the size and shape of a butter bean. In some women, and in a high state of arousal, this can literally swell to the size of a golf ball. The G-Spot extends the entire length of her yoni, narrowing to a point as it goes deeper. This ends just in front of her cervix, and can trigger an orgasm that can last for 2 or 3 minutes.

On either side of the G-Spot are 2 channels. These carry sensation from the front inside. Stroke one finger along each of these channels in turn, slide one or two fingers into her yoni on the upper wall, make a scooping motion a few times in each direction deep inside. Slide your fingers out, turn to one side, do the same thing, slide out, in along the bottom, then the other side. Circle your fingers in her yoni, one direction, then the other.

Step 10: The Art Of Stroking

On the upper wall make 9 shallow strokes, the one deep inside. Repeat this 9 times. With your fingers deep in her yoni stroke back and forth on the upper wall. While you’re doing this, push on her G-Spot from above with your fingers.

Stroke out and in with your fingers curved into a banana shape. Start slowly, making your strokes harder and faster.

There’s often a point in this where you cannot stroke hard or fast enough. As her fire builds the stimulation she needs will grow in intensity. Be ready to match her and give her what she needs.
This is the time to be a sexual warrior.

Step 11: Mix Clitoral & Vaginal Stimulation

As your strokes intensify you can include clitoral stimulation as well.
Now here’s one of the biggest yoni massage secrets:

Stop moving.
Push your fingers up against her G-Spot.
Hold still there.
Push harder.
You’ll feel her pulsate.
You’ll see her body throb.
Don’t move.

This is a state of deep pleasure. You can hold until the throbbing slows and stops. This can be a time to end the massage. Hold your fingers in her yoni, your other hand on her heart centre.

Or take her even higher, let the fire burn stronger. Stroke your fingers into her yoni. Start slowly.Build the intensity, harder, faster, rub her clit with your other hand. Be there, fully present. Take her as high as she’ll go. In this state there’s often more, many more than one orgasm. And sometimes the orgasm is so deep that it leaves her fully satisfied.

Step 12: Allow Space & Hold Her

How To Perform A Yoni MAssage

Gentle her down from wherever she is. Hold her. Allow her her space.
She may want to make love, she may want to just be held.

Learn Even More Powerful Secrets To The Art Of Yoni Massage

There are so many yoni massage movements, so many ways to pleasure a woman. The more you connect with yourself, with your partner, the more you’ll do beautiful things. I discussed some of these in this article but if you and your partner would like to experience the fullness of a Yoni massage then over to Adina Rivers Pussy Massage online course. If your looking for more way to please your partner check out this magical guide on pussy eating (for evolved people only).

Watch Instructional Yoni Massage Video by Adina Rivers

Artist Featured Image: Léon Comerre 

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[…] The Pussy Massage is an Ancient Tantric practice used to awaken a woman sexually, and deeply heal and rejuvenate her.  This is seen as a sacred, spiritual act. In fact, the ancient Sanskrit word for vagina is Yoni, which translates literally to ‘sacred space.’ […]


[…] yoga can best be described as a deep, internal massage for your reproductive […]

8 years ago

Really good read. Something I always do with my clients is I make sure I keep track of how she is breathing. It’s one of the things we are not trained to pay attention to but when we do we can learn so much about arousal levels during a massage.

8 years ago

I wish this would’ve gone more in-depth on the ‘massage’ portion, especially with regards to the tension that a lot of women hold inside their yoni. Just with simple finger pressure, plus patience, a lot of that can tension and stress can be melted away. It seemed rather quick to immediately go into stroking 🙂

Aren’t women always asking us men to slowwww doooowwwnnn and explore? 😉 Relaaaxxxxx <3

9 years ago

I loved this article, but I still feel saddened by even more pics of shaved yonis that look like a young girls. It is not that I think shaving is wrong in itself, but we need balanced depictions more than ever – especially when for a woman strong audience. I have worked as a teacher and had young boys of 7 express that they believe females are naturally hairless on their bodies. We need to help change this.

Julian Boyance
Julian Boyance
9 years ago
Reply to  burntorange79

It does seem to be epidemic. Good young boys insight.

8 years ago
Reply to  burntorange79

Yea, cause showing a hairy vagina on an instructional page makes things clear… Stop overreacting…

8 years ago
Reply to  burntorange79

you’re absolutely correct.

9 years ago

I’m very grateful for all you write and publish. This has a direct reflection on the way I am with my woman, who of course benefits enormously. Making love is about giving. When I compare the way I was in my younger days to the way I am now with the knowledge i have gained over the years, it is like night and day. Sex for me has never been so good… It keeps getting better and better. I’m 59 years old now… I wonder if I’ll look back in 20 years and still see further improvements.

9 years ago

I have some well meaning feedback: Why use the word Yoni, (which I LOVE) but then show a super shaved, bald vagina in the pictures. I am often feeling conflicted about this blog… There is a purity about it that I love but I also feel like there are so many references to everything that I find fake and disingenuous about porn and the sex industry…This is, of course just personal preference, but I have been thinking these things for awhile and sometimes I find myself cringing a little when I read a post. It’s a hard balance, I guess, because I think there is so much great info in this blog, and I appreciate it very much, but the delivery sometimes feels skewed. Also, specifically for this topic- there could be some mention of preparation for the guy- specifically, his hands being clean and nails trimmed. Might sound self explanatory, but men don’t always think about female genitals being as sensitive as they are.

9 years ago
Reply to  jen

Negative feelings, however small, are a reflection of something within you that needs attention. We all need to work through anything which seems judgmental on the surface. The way other people choose to live their lives is up to them… it is everyone’s right to choose because everyone is on this experiential journey of discovery. Some people like hairy, some people like shaved… It should not be confused with porn. Nevertheless, porn is not negative. It simply IS. It exists, and it is up to each of us to take from it whatever gifts it has for us. View it in a positive light or if it does not resonate with you, then simply ignore it until such a time when you can benefit from it’s lessons.

9 years ago
Reply to  ndaustin

Thank you for your point of view. I feel that there is a difference between a woman being ‘sexual’, and a woman being ‘sexualized’. A perfect example of how a woman can be ‘sexualized’- as in, from an outer source, other than her own inner being, is your use of the words “my women” in your comment above which shows a degree of ownership that, undoubtedly through no fault of your own, you have been socialized to believe–not even believe, but perhaps even just subconsciously live by. I think is is definitely up to each and every individual to decide for themselves how they want to live in the world, and I appreciate that very much. However, I think it is important to acknowledge that women’s bodies are constantly being presented as being other than what they really are- not only in Porn (which I watch often, and have actually participated in), but in everyday representations in magazines and television. Again, it is a socialization- a subconscious fascination with youth, and prepubescence that has created a stigma against hair and the natural, normal state of a woman’s body. And to find that here, in a post about the most sensual part of a woman’s body– referring to it as the sacred Yoni– feels jarring, clashing, and unsettling to me. It is decidedly not a judgement. It is an observation of my feelings in response to a written work, given with great respect. It is constructive criticism, without which, art cannot exist.

Ronja Sebastian
9 years ago
Reply to  jen

Being touched with a shaved yoni, compared to having a hairy one, is about 1.000 times more pleasurable. That’s why I shave. Not because of any porn ideal.
I love touch, and being touched, so if shaving intensifies the sensation and sensitivity, I’ll shave. Simple.

Great article by the way! Wonderfully explained.

9 years ago
Reply to  ndaustin

I need to add that the Sexual woman vs Sexualized woman argument/idea was not originally my idea– but one that actress Rashida Jones talks about in her article with Glamour here: https://www.glamour.com/entertainment/2013/12/rashida-jones-major-dont-the-pornification-of-everything
Its worth a read to understand another view point on where we are at present with attitudes toward women and concerning women.

10 years ago

Thank you for this, Jonti! Excellent post! I’m going to be linking this for my readers at https://moderntantra.blogspot.com/2013/10/giving-yoni-massage.html
so they have a second perspective and another source of ideas.

Good loving!


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