Pamela Madsen is a fearless advocate for women’s health and integrated sexuality. During her 25-year career, Pamela has leveraged her raw honesty and well-informed wit to help strip the stigma from infertility, female desire and pleasure, body image and weight. The willingness to use her personal struggles to have children, discover her innate sexuality and find self-esteem has made Pamela one of the most accessible and relatable figures in the vanguard of women’s wellness.
“When women reconnect to their bodies, it is a total game changer. Everything can shift – their sexual expression, love life and even their financial picture.”
I’m a sex educator who gets to work with a lot of women. Many of them are showing up in private sex coaching practices talking about a feeling they have that their vagina is angry at them. Turned off, disconnected and numb.
These women want to feel connected to their entire body, but when they come to me they are sad, confused and trying to understand why their vagina has not only turned off but feels pissed off.
Many of these women seem to be unable to feel acceptance for their own vagina; many of them have a lack of knowledge about the incredible potential this space holds.
It disturbs me.
How come so many women numb-out and disconnect from their genitals and pelvic bowl?
The Lies They Are Telling Us
One of the main reasons for the disconnection is what we have been told growing up. Most of us have been subjected to awful non-truths about our vaginas. For example:
#1 “Don’t be a pussy!”
If you want to belittle someone you call them a “pussy”.
Get the message? If you want to curse at someone, you throw an offensive, dirty, nothing-worse-in-the-world word at them that simply means “vagina”.
#2 “Vaginas are funny looking”
Nothing is further from the truth. Let me share this story with you:
I recently sat with over 80 women, and I spoke with them about their vagina. Almost every woman felt insecure about how their vulva looked.
Many shared their fears that in some way their vagina was deformed or especially ugly.
None of them had ever been engaged in a conversation where vaginas and vulvas were talked about in a beautiful way.
They had no idea of the different sizes, colors and shapes that were possible and all completely normal. No one ever told these women that their vagina was powerful and extraordinary.
When we did an exercise where the women were able to simply see each other’s vulvas the entire room changed; the women became empowered.
#3 “Vaginas are Receptors, Not Creators”
It’s hard for a woman to embrace the idea that her vagina is powerful, when society views it as being a passive receiving tool for the penis.
The truth is women cannot access the powerful aspects of their bodies until they can claim them, see them as normal, and love them.
Shame impedes one’s ability to live wholeheartedly.
It’s my belief that as we come into knowing our sacredness and releasing the shame of our bodies, menstruation, breasts and labia the true shift can happen for women in all aspects of their lives. I have seen it again and again. Please share this article with every woman in your life.
By Pamela Madsen | Featured Artist: Pierre Subleyras
Must-Watch: Secrets To A Beautiful & Healthy Vagina