Bernhard Guenther has had a lifelong interest in exploring the mysteries and hidden knowledge surrounding our planet and humanity’s origins, questioning the roots of what constitutes “reality”, and how social (and spiritual) conditioning impacts upon our collective search for the truth in all aspects of life. His website “Piercing the Veil of Reality” is a wide-ranging collection of essays, films, webinars and interviews, ranging from spirituality, shamanism, psychology, self-work, esotericism, history, to the paranormal and hyperdimensional realities. Bernhard lives in Topanga Canyon, California, working with individuals from all walks of life, helping them in their path of healing and wellness via Integrative Bodywork, Holistic Coaching, and transformational retreats.
In order to have a deep connection, you need to expose yourself completely.
Intimacy is often mistaken for physical closeness, such as hugging, cuddling, kissing, and sex. Yet, if there is no deep connection & emotional intimacy, physical intimacy can only go so far.
For many people, physical intimacy comes easier than emotional intimacy. To truly open up to a partner, we need to feel safe. We need to be able to share our fears, mistakes, and pains.
In order to create a deep connection with your partner, you need to be able to connect deeply with yourself first.
If you are not comfortable with yourself, you cannot fully receive someone else. No matter how hot the sex, if emotional intimacy is blocked the relationship becomes limited.
Our bodies provide constant clues to help us distinguish between what is safe and what isn’t. The more we are in touch with our bodies, the more we can receive these clues.
There are many ways to get in touch with our bodies. Bodywork, Yoga, Pole Dancing, Dance, Qi Gong, Tai Qi, for example, help to increase self-awareness and sensitivity to the energetic clues of our environment. It also helps to release energy blocks, stress, and trauma that is manifested in our bodies from our past and through daily living.
Awareness of our bodies also connects us to our vulnerability.
When it comes to intimacy, our deepest feelings are often buried under layers of “armor”. They are not easy to access so we rationalize these deeper sensations away. We then judge ourselves for not feeling safe enough to open up.
Don’t listen too much to the mind. Trust your body and don’t judge yourself for what you feel.
So, What Exactly Is a Deep Connection?
Emotional intimacy goes hand in hand with trust. It is knowing that our vulnerabilities will be received with compassion and empathy.
It starts with being compassionate with ourselves. We need to love ourselves – the dark and light – neither inflating or diminishing ourselves in any way.
It entails providing a safe space for our partner to express their vulnerabilities
Sometimes, we’re unconsciously looking for a “savior” instead of a partner, but it is a projection of what we have denied ourselves: healthy self-love, vulnerability, and inner safety.
We need to give to ourselves first or we will keep looking for the illusory partner.
3 Easy Ways to Develop Self-Love & Deep Connection
Living in a world with ever increasing technology, we have become more and more disconnected from our bodies. Here are 3 simple ways for overcoming the main barriers to a healthy self-love.
#1 Avoid Excessive Use of Technology
We are glued to our laptops and smartphones and therefore have become unaware of how we carry ourselves.
It makes sense, then, that the less we use technology, the more we open ourselves up to self-awareness.
#2 Learn About Emotional Intelligence
Mainstream education doesn’t teach us about body awareness and how to listen to our intuition. We reward rational intellect but have forgotten to nurture our emotional and physical intelligence.
Caring for your emotional intelligence and making it part of your lifelong learning will help you develop yourself and build intimate relationships with others.
#3 Still Your Busy Mind
Most of us are so out of touch with our bodies that we miss the messages that could help us to make wiser decisions. Our rational mind tends to over-ride the subtler impressions, such as the gut feeling, and the energetic clues that are perceived by the body.
Pay attention to your thoughts. When you find yourself being overwhelmed by what’s on your mind, it may be time to bring out the yoga mat.
When cultivating emotional intelligence and intimacy, remember that a healthy body-mind is the foundation for good health and relationships: physical, emotional, and mental. When we’re truly honest with ourselves about what we need, it becomes easier to be honest with our partners. Everybody wins.