This Massage Technique Is A Mind-F*ck! [Hint: Whips and Ropes are Involved]
Once you let go, you begin to find a sense of peace, autonomy, and orgasmic connection to life that eludes so many of us in the modern world.
We’ve all been there, the excitement of the early days of the relationship begins to fade, and the sexual repertoire begins to go stale. It can be disappointing and even scary. Suddenly, you and your partner have to work to keep things exciting, or passionate in the bedroom.
In a world where sex has all too often become boring and routine, this is a crucial stage in your relationship. The actions taken will either lead you to fulfil the potential of your emotional, spiritual, and orgasmic selves, or flatline and fizzle out.
In this article, I would like to share with you a wonderful technique to create excitement, and potentially spark a new phase in your relationship. I learned this from the creator of the technique, Jaeleen Bennis. This sexual adventure, called “Bondassage” combines bondage, sensation play, and erotic massage.
It allows you to explore your desires and boundaries safely, experience a range of new sensations, and discover new and unimagined erotic possibilities.
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Sexual Self-Discovery Through Surrender
Bondassage is a gentle (or not so gentle if you prefer..) introduction to the exquisite art of BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission). Many of us are curious about the timeless art of liberation through constraint—and for good reason! Sexual surrender is ultimately freeing.
Once you let go, you begin to find a sense of peace, autonomy, and orgasmic connection to life that eludes so many of us in the modern world.
Surrendering allows us to drop the barriers to real feeling.
All of the senses become heightened. We regain our capacity to bask in the subtle range of sensation—in the sexual experience, and in every aspect of life.
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A Step by Step Guide to Bondassage for Enlightened Lovers
#1 Set a Time
Even though five hours of play sounds delightful, it may not be the best idea. Think quality not quantity. Shorter sessions can be better and it’s always nicer to leave your lover wanting more.
#2 Set the Scene
With Bondassage, the atmosphere you create means just as much as the implements and techniques you use.
By setting the scene just so, you create a bubble for the two of you to explore your wildest dreams and have deep connection and intimacy.
You will need:
- The Right Temperature: A warm room feels delightful on the naked skin.
- Supplies: Sheets (satin sheets are delicious), towels for wiping down your lover after the session, and warm massage oil (I personally love coconut oil, unscented). Tissues, lubricants and condoms, a sarong or blanket, water, chocolate or fresh fruit for aftercare.
- Bondage gear and toys: This could mean a trip to the sex store, or you can just buy online if you’re shy. You’ll need a blindfold, restraints for ankles and wrists, rope cut to measure for tying, and some toys for sensation play, like fluffy floggers, feathers, and sex toys. Other items you can use from around the house include: Fork, hair comb, chopsticks, wooden spoon, loofah, ice cubes, silk scarves, makeup brushes etc. Be creative in choosing.
- Music: Choose soothing, sensual music, something that promotes relaxation and won’t distract your lover from the experience. Instrumental is always a good choice. Wireless headphones are a delight to use, but if you use corded headphones, make sure the cord will be out of the way.
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#3 Have A Pre-Play Discussion
As with any sexual play, it’s important that you both communicate your sexual wants and needs beforehand to make sure your session has the desired outcome. For the person receiving, you may wish to outline your limits, how you wish to be touched, spanked etc.
Be honest.
If the giver does something that you’re not comfortable with, speak up as soon as
possible. Be gentle but clear. You could say something like, “I prefer you not do that,” or if an adjustment, “a little slower please.”
As the giver, be open to the feedback you receive from your lover and thank them.
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# 4 Let the Session Begin
Ask your partner to lay face down on either a massage table or bed. Lightly tie their wrists and ankles apart with soft rope or light restraints. Place the blindfold and headphones on and check for comfort.
With bare, lightly oiled hands, softly stroke and rock your partner’s body starting from the shoulders and working your way down and up again. Use the sensation tools and alternate between periods of light sensation play and massage. Visit the genital and bottom area often. Wipe off any excess oil and finish off the sequence with some nice slow flogging or spanking.
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Next, have your partner to turn over. Adjust the blindfold and headphones and restrain them again, asking them not to move a muscle.
Begin by using soft sensation play items over the front of the body. Then pour warm oil onto your hands. Slowly and lovingly massage your partner, starting at the chest and working your way down the feet. If you wish to use a flogger but don’t want to get it oily, just cover the area with a satin pillowcase and flog them through that.
Start to pay more attention to the genitals using a variety of strokes, pressures, and tempos with your hands, vibrators, or toys, increasing or decreasing the amount of sexual energy as you desire.
As the giver, you decide whether your partner has a delightful orgasm…or not. As
the receiver, you’ll want to surrender to the giver’s desires.
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#5 Care For Your Lover Afterwards
After you finish, cover your lover with a blanket or sarong, remove the restraints, and give them time to ease back into the space. Give them water and perhaps a gift, like chocolate.
Stay present with your lover.
If they give you feedback, just listen and thank them. Praise them for being brave/responsive/fun and give them a hug or kiss, whatever feels right for the both of you in that moment.
A leisurely bath or shower is a lovely way to end the session.
Bondassage brings you back into the body, giving a release from the pressures of expectation and performance.
It offers a safe and healing space to explore the world of sensory play and rediscover your true sensual nature.
Get creative and experience the magic of Bondassage for yourself!
By Taranga Anurag | Edited by Serena Gee | Featured Artist: Adrian Borda
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